Our varsity game went well last night. A couple of rivals but the home team was in a down year. Visitors win 35 - 14 and both coaches are fine all night. But I had one of those "your kidding" moments with a couple of assistants from the visitors. Head coach was smart enough to stay out of it. After the visitors scored midway through the 4th quater to make it 28 - 14, the kickoff fools the returner just a bit. As the white hat, I have a good view of him back up from the 5 to the goal, realize he is back a bit far, and dive for the ball. His dive is just a bit short and he only has the ability while laying on the ground to deflect the ball. The ball rolls a few feet away, he gets up, pick up the ball and runs to the 22. The visitors assistants are screaming at me that he was down on the 3. Thier claim, he can't touch the ball while on the ground and not be down. I tried to explain the whole muff idea. That went nowhere. So I asked the assistant what he would have wanted me to do if his team had come down and recovered the ball after he had touched it. His answer, our ball. But you just told me he was down. At the glazed look, I blew the ready. Nothing like talking to assistant coaches.

Not a coach, but had a light moment last night with a player. On one of the home teams 9 kickoffs (3 inside the last 4 minutes of the half, but that's another story), I run the ball back up from the end zone and hand it to the kicker, a 6'2" 250 lb freshman center/PK. I hand him the ball and say, "Between the uprights 75, eh?". He turns and looks behind him at his own team's goal posts. I say, "Umm, 75, those uprights" as I point over my shoulder towards R's end zone. "He heee. Oh" as he tees up the ball.

The house is big, but that attic aint too full.

Varsity game last night. Visitors have the ball around A's 35 (this is an 8 man game and field: 80 yards). A passes to a receiver running a down and out about 15 yards downfield. As the ball sails just out of reach of the receiver, one defender contacts the receiver from behind, near the shoulders, while a second defender contacts the receiver just below the waist from in front. The visiting coach screams, "that's a high - low, where's the flag?"

After the play, the coach calms down a bit, then comes up behind me and (in a slightly hushed voice), says, "that was the epitome of a high - low."

The same coach had complained in the pregame meeting about the home team "chop blocking." After discussing it, it was clear he thought any block below the waist was a "chop block." Thought we cleared that up, but on that pass play he obviously wanted a "chop block" called on what amounted to two defenders tackling the would be runner, (had he possessed the ball).

The guy was in my ear all night. He crossed the line in the 4th Q and got an USC. After that he kept his comments mostly to himself. I'm guessing he still doesn't know what a chop block is.

I didn't work last night, but listened to a game on radio. My new favorite Radio PBP goof is now this:

The QB threw a pass and I'm guessing that he read the body language that the QB was simply throwing the ball away. The guy goes "Well the QB was smart enough to roll outside of the tackle box before throwing the ball away to avoid getting an intentional grounding penalty." I loved every minute of it.

I'm just hoping that the officials on the play weren't thinking the same thing as the radio announcer.

I was WH in a varsity game last night. In the first quarter, I had 2 roughing the passers, one USC, and another personal foul. Myself. All against the visiting team. Other than that, it was a 41-0 cakewalk and I saw myself in the prep highlights on TV for the second week in a row.

Today was a doozy, though. Working an 8th grader youth game as the WH in a 3-man. I notice a defender stick an end on the line and I make sure to remind him, essentially, that this isn't the NFL when I hear one of his coaches yelling for him to stick the receiver "in the first five yards."

Later in the game, the kid told the coach what I said and he came out telling me that he could run any formation he wanted. Never understood what I was saying, but got an USC for his troubles.

interesting but it turned out alright
 

Had an unusual out of town double header last nite. Soph game followed by the varsity game. During the soph game I have an Intentional grounding...whent he qb throws the ball I look around see no one, ask my line judge if there is anyone in the area he says no, so I drop the flag...the qb uses the "I was out of the pocket" I remind him that we aren't in that league yet...but from beside the endzone I hear "why don't you wait a little longer to throw that flag"...low and behold it is the varsity head coach... from a fan, or from the soph coaches I wouldn't have had a second thought about this comment it would have gone in one ear and out the other...but the varsity coach standing there as a fan got my ire up...I said thats enough I don't want to hear any more...to which he asks what took so long to throw the flag, maybe I should have waited till tomorrow...I tell him if he wants to watch the rest of the game he needs to do so silently...and we go about the game... when I go to introduce myself to the varsity coaches before the game He says..."yeah I think we have already met...I will be on my best behavior.." so we had a laugh about it and all went well....well except that he got throttled....63-0 LOL.....

The next time he asked you why you didn't call somthing did you telll him you were waiting for tomorrow?

Seriously I thought about it....but he was pretty quiet...he and his team have bigger issues.... a lot of internal strife there LOL... he was mad at last weeks crew though, they wouldn't let him take his headset on the field, so when we let the other coach do it this week, and he pointed it out, to which we said, it is legal no problem, players are the only ones who can't, he left us alone cause he was upset with the guys last week LOL

I was WH in my game friday night. We had a 5 yard facemask against the home team. I gave the signal and held up 5 fingers (yes I know not really proper). The defensive coach yells to me they don't have a number 5 on the field. I said "that is a 5 yard penalty coach. It was 68 with the facemask." He said "oh". Kids for the home team started laughing and commented that their coach forgot his medicine.

kentref,

Sounds like the same coach we popped for a USC a couple of weeks ago. He was complaining that we weren't calling the chop blocks on the other team all game, finally made a comment in the 4th quarter about our umpire and yellow hankies flying all over the place.

My varsity game was moved to Saturday afternoon in the aftermath of Hurricane Ivan. I was the linesman. Late in the game, with the visitors taking a severe beating, the WH drops a flag during a play by the home team. After the play, the WH waves off the flag. Assistant coach for the hapless visitors asks what the flag was for. I replied "I don't know." He says I should go ask the WH. My response: "I don't know why he dropped the flag, but I do know what he had, nothing, that is why he waved it off." Coach, " We want the penalty!" Me, "Coach, there is no penalty, but if there were one I believe it was against your team." That ended the discussion.

The stupid things coaches say...
 

Coaches will say the darndest things. On Friday night we had a varsity game in which the home team was ahead by 19 points with about 3 minutes remaining in the game. The home team was on defense and the visitors were trying in vain to pass themselves back into the game at which point B intercepts the ball. Unfortunately B was also guilty of defensive holding prior to the pass and A accepted the penalty, thus keeping possession of the ball. On the next play A throws a long pass down field and two B defenders go up with the A receiver. All three collide in the air and come down in a heap. Upon landing one of the B defenders breaks his leg...a really nasty break too.

The BJ immediately calls for an official's TO and signals for the B coach and medical staff. On his way out on the field, the B coach turns to we officials and tells us "This is your fault! If you hadn't called that defensive holding penalty this never would've happened." To say we were flabbergasted by this statement is and understatement. After a nearly 15 minute delay while they player is being attended to medically and taken off the field on a stretcher, we finally resumed the game and it finished with the home team winning by 19. On our way off the field, we are confronted by two more assistant coaches from the home team and they repeat the same thing the head coach said to us. I guess they never stopped for a minute to reflect that it was their decision to leave this player in the game with a 19 point lead.

Besides that, this was the whiniest bunch of coaches I've ever worked with. I was working the LJ position so I had the "pleasure" of sharing a sideline with them. I kid you not, they begged for a penalty on EVERY single play all night long. Funny, never once were the penalties they asked for on their own team. I've often felt tempted to tell them that the only way I'll listen to their requests is if they are equitable in assigning them to each team 50-50.

Ref Ump Welsch:
I was referring to the Hamburg coach. Same one you had?

Re: The stupid things coaches say...
 

This has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard a coach say. On the field, I would've been really tempted to tack 15 yards on once the kid was off the field.

Classic. Maybe we do know what we're talking about.

Re: The stupid things coaches say...
 

This earns 10 yards from me.

I dislike this rule - you penalize the kids for the action of a coach. If we could do it, I'd eject him without a yardage penalty.

Re: Re: The stupid things coaches say...
 

Only 10 up there? That's on a 110 yard field, no less.

Yes, there is NOTHING like talking to assistant coaches. I had one complaining because , after checking a close ball to the line to gain, on their side of the field, it was obvious that the ball was short by about 4 inches. The HC was standing right there looking at the chains and had no complaint about the "short" call.
I started to pickup the ball (about an inch and 1/2) and realized I would leave it there and spot the new ball from the ball boy.
An 'ASSt' coach, from 15 yards away starts screaming "Sure, move it back now..."
Looked at him and he started again. I couldn't resist. "YOU are an ASSISSTANT coach. You are to be seen, perhaps, and NEVER to be heard!"

Last Fri. I was the HL and coach was in my ear all night long... but never really "crossed the line". But he did have a funny request. His team threw and interception and B was returning it up the far hash, on the opposite hash one of his men got blocked pretty hard, but very clean. After the play the coach wants me to throw an UC on that block, my reply "Coach it was a clean hit nothing illegal about it" his reply "It was on the other side of the field" my reply "Coach it was actually just on the opposite hash and what if that player cut back to this side" his reply "Well the kid should have waited for that until he blocked him" I tried not to laugh and asked if he would expect his kids to hold off a from blocking til they seen the play cut back... he threw his hat down and walked away

4 inches? Obvious? You guys are good. :)

Coaches do get confused at times too. Granted, this was a JV game last week but when A was intercepted in the endzone HC for A started yelling that B couldn't return that ball out of the endzone and it was a touchback. I quickly informed him that rule only applied to kicked balls and that B could return this ball. None of the other coaches were saying a thing, guess they knew HC was wrong. After the game he appologized.

This last week in our varsity game QB for A started yelling for us to whistle it dead during the play while his runner was still gaining yards. I don't know if he forgot who he handed the ball to as the FB was tackled quickly but the TB's forward progress was not yet stopped. I asked him if he would like me to blow my whistle after his TB broke away and was running down the field and he said "No" so I told him that his player was in no danger of being hurt. I still don't know what was going through his mind that he just started yelling "Blow the whistle!"

kentref,

Nope, it wasn't the Hamburg coach. Ours was the coach from Corydon. Now that I think about it, it was an 11-man game, not 8-man. By the way, Sidney coaches were whining in our ears one night. Ever have them?

I thought I was reading a Readers Digest 'All In A Days Work' article. Nice stuff guys. A book of 'Coaches Comments' might make the NY Times Bestseller List!

Well Yes, But it was right in front of the chains. <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_28_113.gif' alt='Confused' border=0></a>

Glazed looks are precious! They just prove how intellectually-challenged some people are! :)

Jr. High Game (7th & 8th Graders)

Volunteer Coach

Holding called on defense.

Coach yells out "There is no holding on defense!"

Coaches comments are great. The comedy factor we get is such an added bonus. Parents to, they're oftentimes wrong but I love it when they're confident about it.

Last night, 8th grade. 1st and 10, everyone set. RB jumps forward at the first "Hut!", tries to stop himself, falls, curses (my flag in the air by this time), and apologizes repeatedly to no one in particular.

As I'm signalling false start, the coach yells, "He's a BACK, he's allowed to go in motion!!!!", and continues yelling it as he comes out to the numbers, making it 1st and 30.

Okay, here's mine...

Youth League, 10yr olds, working Linesman. We do this au gratis for the youth league.

Asst Coach is in my ear about A backfield taking an early half step. Wants me to drop a flag and he is being persistent about it.

I tell him it is R's call and I'm watching the LOS but if he'd like, I'd be more than happy to start backing up his B line as they are always encroaching. "Would you like me to help them learn and line up as they obviously haven't been shown that yet, or would you rather they get marched back every other play? Your call, what would you like?"

His reply, a sheepish "nevermind..."

Gawd I love this game!

Football History
 

BJ called DPI on the home team. Next play visitors score.
As the Umpire on that crew, for the KO I lined up on the 30 yard line, home team side; just 5 yards inside the team box area.

The HC came up to me and proceded to tell me that the DPI call was the worst call he had ever seen in the entire history of high school FB.

To which I replied "Wow Coach, I'm glad I was here to see it"

sure thing coach
 

FReshman game last night...Varsity coach comes down to sideline. Home is losing time is running out and have no timeouts. Visitors are in shotgun, snap, take a knee. The Head (varsity) coach yells "He can't take a knee from the shotgun" "what coach?" "he can only lose a yard if he takes a knee!"

"sure thing coach......"

Last night, JV. Home winning 28-0, returning a punt for a TD, but on the runback we had a Perfect, Beautiful, Textbook-type block in the back. You could use this for an officials training video. Drew flags from 3 of us. Right in front of his own coaches too.

"Oh that's horrible! You're only calling that to keep us from scoring."

"What?"

"If we hadn't scored, you wouldn't call a ticky tack foul like that!"

"Coach - THREE flags were on the ground 10 seconds before your guy scored."

"That don't make it right!"

whatever.

"That is a fumble!!! He has to bring his arm above the shoulder for it to be a legal spike!!"

Heard this last night when the opposing team spiked the ball to stop the clock. He said a pass had to come above the shoulder if not it is a fumble.

We told him at half as long as the QB receives the snap (without fumbling) and throws the ball to the ground forward it was a legal spike.

We stated if you run your shovel pass and the QB pitches it forward and it is dropped do you want us to rule it a fumble.

Didn't think so.

Re: Football History
 

Gotta love that come back !!!

REPLY: About ten years ago...pass intercepted. Defensive lineman coming back executes as beautiful a block in the back as mcrowder described earlier. Three or four flags fly as the block was right in the middle of the field at what had just become the point of attack. B's head coach is trying to be a wisea$$ and says to our HL, "So how do you know who's flag is who's? Do you have your names on them?" HL picks up his flag and shows the coach. It seems that a new offical who our crew had mentored the year prior had given each of us a flag with our name embroidered on it in small black letters. Coach's jaw dropped and he walked away sulking. You gotta love those moments!!

Might have you beat. Maybe too many of us were watching the same thing during the play but all 4 of us had a block in the back on a return and all our flags were on the same line across the field right in front of the coach. Coach still had the guts to argue the call.