We all know that in the heat of battle, we have a tendancy to speak before we think. Thus, I thought I'd ask everyone to contribute to this post.

What are the funniest things you've ever heard coaches, players, fans, or other officials say during a game?

Recently an umpire discovered two opposing players lying on the ground and appeared to be 'scuffling' with one another. The umpire immediately ordered the two players to halt the activity, but they continued rolling on the ground 'locked up' together. The umpire threw a flag and the referee appeared on the scene about that time.

As the two officals continued to request the players to break it up, one of the players finally spoke......indicating the playerers' face masks were locked up and they couldn't separate.

the referees request to dis regard the flag was granted by the umpire.

I have too many to talk about.
 

This weekend I had a coach say to me about the opponent when the line was in a "two-point" stance, he said this to me. "When they are in this stance (he was demonstrating), they cannot go into a 3 point stance. They are always set in a two-point stance."

Then I heard yesterday, "if they touch him, it can only be a roughing the kicker." I had to catch myself on that one, coming from a coach.

It might not be as funny to everyone or funnier than other stories, but when you are dealing with people that should know better, it always makes me laugh.

Peace

Did a JV game yesterday and the chains were only 8 yards long. On a first down our L was setting chains 2 yards past the down box. It was almost halftime before Home coach notices and starts yelling that it's 1/10, not 1/12.

In a frosh game, the coach was yelling to one of the B players to change his position on the LOS. The R player responded, "But they're (A) not lining up right!" The Coach said, "They don't have to line up like we do it in practice!"

Linejudging a game early last year (my rookie year), I hadn't yet learned how to get the coaches to settle down, and my coach was riding my on every play. This was a 7th grade "C"-team game, and around here 7th grade normally plays on Monday nights.

Finally, after about 3 quarters of this, referee (25 year vet) lobs the flag over to my side for UC on the coach, and comes over to talk to him. "Coach, that's enough. You'd think from all your yelling that you were coaching on Monday Night Football. Oh, ... wait ... I'm sorry - it IS Monday night - I take it back, you must know what you're talking about." It was all I could do not to laugh in front of him.

Not 5 plays later, I finally get up the nerve to flag and eject him (he made a comment that we were obviously biased - how much was the other coach paying - something I knew was WAY over the line), and referee comes over as he's helping walk the guy off the field and says, "Coach - there's a reason you're coaching the C team. Think about it."

Probably not the most professional thing he could have said - but funny as heck to me.

Was on the wing in a jv game last year. Other wing official had an obvious block in the back. As I relayed the foul to my sideline I said "Coach, #58, block in the back" He said "on us", I said "Yes, Sir" , he said "Could not have been us we haven't blocked anybody all night, especially in the back" All I could do was grin.

Towards beggining of a season coach was raggin on the opposite wingman so referee told him to stop. Coach said he was just asking a question and referee says "no you weren't be quiet." Then coach says "can i ask you a question?", referee says "no" and blows ready for play whistle.

Then I'm sure everyone has the fans who are yelling stuff like "That's not PI, that was an uncatchable pass," and "Foward lateral."

Final story,

My association had to eject a chaincrew volunteer. The R told him to be careful what he yells cause he's on the other teams side. The guy gets real defensive and says that he's just cheering for his kid. The guy decides to quit but not only does he quit he gets in the referees face and they exchange some words. So R ejects him. Later we found out he was a Congressmen, Rep. from Arizona.

Last week in a non league game, first year school playing all ages (HS) against an older small school JV team. Coach well known to all of us as a fun guy. old school trailing by 4 with a minute left, uses last time out. Coach asks "what would it take to get another time out?". My partner tells him "Coach, figure out a way to score 4 points, and I will GIVE you one in overtime".

I was at a JV game last year working the wing. My other wing official had an obvious block in the back. As I went to the coach I told him "Coach, #58, block in the back."
He said "On us", I said "yes, sir" , he said "Couldn't have been us, we haven't blocked anybody all night, especially in the back" I couldn't help but grin.

I'm the R in a youth game, play is run and one RB goes the wrong way, messing up the play. QB comes over to him yelling, "You went the wrong way!" to which the RB replies, "I made a mistake. I'm not perfect. Are you?".
"Tough to argue with that, 14" I said.

Best perspective on football I've ever heard.

I'm the line judge on a varsity game and the QB from the other team keeps running over to his sideline to get a play after each down. The coach on my sideline asks loudly and increduously, "Let me ask you somethin. Can he run ALL the way over there on each play and run ALL the way back?" to which I reply "Sure he can, coach".

"I thought so." was his disheartened reply.

First HS game (LA CITY, "B"), working LJ, keeping time on huddle. Every time visitors have the ball, I hear, "Too much time", from the home bench. Finally there's a dead ball near the home bench. As soon as the ball became dead, an assistant coach starts counting, "Thousand one, thousand two..." Next dead ball is in front of bench again. I turn my head and say, "Coach". "Yes". "See the guy in the white hat"? "Yes". "When he does this (I give 'chopping' sign), I do this (simulate starting stop watch)". "OH".

Same game, same team. Pass play. WR covers TE, goes downfield. I flag for ineligible downfield. Next pass play, ditto. Third time, I'm in front of their bench (near end of 1st half). "Coach, number XX is covering your tight end". "Thanks". Home team takes kickoff, ball dead near home bench. First play from scrimmage, pass. Three guesses, first two don't count.

Bob

Punt. Receiver blocks in the back. I give the flag. Coach on sideline yells, "How can it be a block in the back? We are the receivers, How can it be a block in the back?" The other coach had to grab him and escort him to the sidelines. How many punt plays is there NOT a block in the back?

Kickoff. I flag and whistle off sides by the kicking team. The K coach was right behind me on the play. He says to me, "Good thing you threw the flag. If you wouldn't have, I was going to throw a flag myself." We both smiled at each other for the ONE good call I made all day.

Pass Interference. I flag pass interference on the offense because he is blocking downfield before he catches the pass. The defensive coach comes storming on the field yelling, "You're blind! Bad call! My guy didn't interfere." I told him. "I know. It is OPI." Coach goes off field, "Great call. Way to see the play. We'll take it."

Reverse play

Me: Coach, #2 holding
Coach: What number?
Me: #2
Coach: #2 is the quarterback, he can't be called for holding!!!!!!!!
Me: He can if he is a blocker on a reverse
Coach: (a few second pause)...I hate that play.

During a varsity game last season I had the home team coaches screaming at me, I work LJ, for a facemask that was not there. I actually responded to them with, "Your wife must be out here on the field because I know you are not yelling at me like that". After a brief pause, they all laughed.

8th grade game, flag a kid for blocking in the back on a TD run. Coach is chewing on him from the sideline. Kid has enough, steps out of the huddle and says to the coach,"There was no way I could have hit him in the back, coach, I was holding him.

Two weeks ago we had an overtime game. It was third and goal from the 6. Offense ran a crossing pattern and defense held prior to the pass. Our back judge threw the flag. He initially signalled interference, but then caught himself and stated that it was prior to the pass, so the correct call would be holding. The Defensive coach, who was on my side of the field, only saw the initial signal of interference. When our referee signaled defensive holding, and walks off half the distance to the goal and replay third down the defense coach goes crazy and yells,

"You can't change your mind. You called interference. You have to go with his first call" I advised him that holding was in his team's best interest, becuase holding was half the distance replay down, interfernce was half the distance, automatic first down. He replied, "So, he can't change his mind after he signals a calls." He continued to be irrate about our back judge changing the call from defensive intereference to holding, and how that was wrong. Finally, one of his players got him to quiet down because the boy comprehended the advantage before the coach did. His team, though he tried to help the other team by wanting us to give them two more downs with the interference call, held for the 2 plays and won the game 22-16.

Best line from an official in a long time
 

The linesman on our crew got off this line a few weeks ago when working with a coach who was a well-known whiner. Finally tiring of his carping, our L simply said, "Please don't help me officiate any more."

Polite, and to the point. Of course, the coach told his spotter on the radio, "He just told me to shut up!"

One note I might add to this thread, although we officials can laugh at some of these quick comebacks, we must recognize it is a very fine line to walk when providing a smart answer to a coach. One of the best adages to remember is "No one can misquote silence."

while not a funny story I have a question for Don...what is your back judge doing signalling anything???? In our area we are taught to find the R and tell him what we have and he will do the signalling...it kind of keeps these things from happening but it is a funny story :)

You've all seen it.....
 

R in a youth game.

The kicker is hammered by the oncoming rush and is down on the field. I toss a flag for roughing and then after the play bring on the medical person.

The K head coach is yelling as he comes onto the field to check on his kid. He continues to tell me how "this shouldn't be allowed, how could I let his kid get hurt, you guys are supposed to protect the kids"

After he's done venting, I remind him that "Coach, I flagged the penalty, but I can't keep him from getting hurt. Football is a violent game"

He just muttered to himself and spat as he walked off the field!

Probably most old timers have had this one at least once. Punt, right before snap R large scale substitution leaves 12 players on field all participating. Inform R coach of illegal participation 12 men on field. Naturally his question is "What's the number?"

HS Varsity game. I'm working umpire, and throw a flag on an "O" interior lineman. Instead of the usual, "I didn't do anything", he looks up at me (he was sitting on the ground), and says, "How the Hell did you see me do that"?

Bob

That's like signalling illegal motion (two backs moving at the snap). Coach: "Which was the second guy"?

Bob

Here in Canada, the "chuck zone" as I've heard some players call it, no doubt from US influence, is 1 yard. I understand that the NFL rule is 5 yards. Perhaps NC2A and NF are the same.

Anyways, in the OV league that I do, players and some coaches constantly tell me that they're allowed to knock a player for 5y beyond the LS, and I remind them that the rule is in fact 1y. (This is my preventative officiating...)

There is this one coach who has been coaching OV for 3 seasons now, and is an assistant for a University team, and claims that he played University ball. I will never dispute that claim, but him and I had a conversation last year about the chuck zone and he agreed that he understands now that it is 1y. Sure enough this past summer I had his team again, and we had the same discussion. I've heard that he's brought up the same point in the University league too.

I guess it's not a HAHA funny story, but what does humour me is that if this gentleman would take a little more time to recall what he's previously admitting to, and to remember the rule, he would be better off, because then he could (a) coach his kids properly, and (b) focus more on the game.

Coin toss between captains of Furr and Kasmere high school. Kasmere wins the toss and says "defer" when asked for his option. The mensa candidate that was captain for Furr immediately says "That's not right! We're the Furr! They are the Kasmere".

Conversation between me and a JV coach (with a pretty good team, I might add) last night. The QB had just thrown an overhand backward pass to the WR that went at least 3 yards backward (and about 20 yards laterally). WR didn't catch the ball, and ALL of the players knew immediately it was a fumble and scrambled for it.

Coach: Why didn't you blow that dead?!?!?!
Me: It was a backward pass, sir.
Coach: Right, an incomplete backward pass! It's our ball!
Me: No sir, a dropped backward pass is a live ball.
Coach: Jesus Chr---! How new are you! An incomplete pass is an incomplete pass! Dead ball!
Me: No sir, in laymans terms, an incomplete backward pass is just like a dropped pitch - it's live.
Coach: How can you call it a pitch, the quarterback's arm went over his head! This is absurd!
Me: Coach that's enough. I've got a game to call. Before I flag you, do me a favor and go talk about this play with your varsity coach (I'd seen him on the sideline, not really involved, but watching the game He's a very good coach, one of the few that I know of that REALLY knows the rules). I'm sure he can clear this up for you.

As soon as this happened, I knew I had to relay the conversation to you all in this thread.

Sure enough, about 10 minutes later I get a solid apology from the guy. He looked like he was pretty embarrassed.

Public address announcement from a game this weekend, regarding inflatable plastic noisemakers:

"The Cheer-sticks are meant to be hit together! They are not for hitting other people!"

I got a funny one for you guys. This past weekend i was working FJ and i was in position on the sidelines to drop the bean bag on the PSK. The def coor. from the sidelines came over to me and asked me to watch a player. I agreed. The ball was snapped and the HL called illegal procedure on the offense. The def. coor goes ballistic at me telling me i need to watch the game and help my fellow officials because they obviously dont know what they are doing (mind you, i am 30+ yards down the field away from the play). the following dialogue takes place:

Me: Coach, i'm back here with you, how can i possibly see the procedure call from back here.

Coach: dont try to fool me, i know you didn't see the penalty.

Me: Right Coach, i didn't see it, how could i

Coach: (begins to yell at the other officials) see, see your other official here didn't see the penalty. You guys are cheating us!

Me: Coach calm down, i didn't see the penalty because i cannot see the line of scrimage from way back here, nevermind call a penalty on the line of scrimage.

Coach: Why arn't you watching the play then, are you trying to play some game with me...I'll go N**ger on you on this field

Me: **Looking at him like he has three heads** Ok coach...

I laughed the whole play and it made for a great laugh on the way home with the other guys. I never heard that before and dont know what it means. Looking back, it's technically a threat, but it was too funny to flag.

I'm a line judge and I'm sure others have had this happen before where there are only 6 men on the line of scrimmage so you have an illegal formation. When you explain to the coach that he only had 6 men on the line, the coach will ask "What number" or "Who was off?"

Last Saturday I was the "R" and we had 6 men on the line of scrimmage on a play. The coach went ballistic on our linesman that called it saying "It's your job and responsibility to make sure he's on the line of scrimmage." I went over to the coach and informed him that it is his (the coaches) responsiblity to make sure his player knows where the line of scrimmage is and asked him to find for me in any rule book where it says it's the officials duty."

more fodder...
 

two plays this weekend:

1) Youth game. HL calls illegal formation when there are only 6 guys on the line. After repeated attempts to explain why it's an illegal formation, the coach finally with resignation decides one last try to prove us wrong: "OK, if it's an illegal formation, then it's a dead ball foul!" Sorry coach.

2) Working BJ on Friday night. Play out of bounds. Extracurricular activity. Wing flags a late hit. I clean up behind him and escort B7 back to the field who had just got the flag. I said, "B7, play under control, that's a dumb penalty, a late hit out of bounds!". He responded, "Why don't you penalize them?" I said, "I will if they hit your guys out of bounds, but they didn't", He says, "I wasn't doing anything illegal. I was just protecting my guys!" :confused:

Youth game Saturday. As a pile-up over on my sideline was heading back to mid-field I see (and everyone else on A’s sideline) an A player deliberately try to knee a B player as he was walking away. I say ”HEY”! And toss my flag. The kid looks at me and says “what?” . I said “you know what, and your lucky I’m not ejecting you”. I go report a dead ball PF and head back to my sideline. Coach says “what was that for? I said “ you going to tell me you didn’t see that?” He says “ well he only did it because he was being held “

"Coach: (begins to yell at the other officials) see, see your other official here didn't see the penalty. You guys are cheating us!

FLAG. 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct.

"Coach: Why arn't you watching the play then, are you trying to play some game with me...I'll go N**ger on you on this field"

FLAG. 15 yards, EJECTION.

Bob

The offense breaks the huddle with ten players as the eleventh player (left tackle) runs onto the field. The defensive coach starts yelling "illegal substitution, they broke the huddle with ten players".

Maybe they created a player vacancy first. ;)

007

That's my favorite one so far. I ref basketball and only lurk here, but if you guys don't mind, I'll share my funniest exchange with a fan. You have to remember that basketball fans sit right next to the court, unlike football fans. Anyway. . .

I was working a very competitive boys varsity game and the gym was pretty full. In the first half, tho, I could hear one woman's voice at certain times. When I would take my Trail position during free throws (2-man game), I would back up toward the sideline opposite the table. Almost every time, I would hear, "Hey ref, move", "Ref, move over", "Ref, move it, I can't see". This happened several times, until right before halftime she says "Hey ref, move your fat @ss!" I didn't reply at all. Merely continued on until halftime.

Second half, I decided to find out who it was. So every time I was trail during free throws, I stood on a different spot, trying to see if she'd pipe up. Sure enough, about 4 minutes left in the game, I heard her, "C'mon ref, move over!" FINALLY!

I took two steps straight back until I was directly in front of her. She put up a hand to hold me off so I didn't fall in her lap. She was sort of handchecking me. I thought to myself "Ha ha, I gotcha."

As I started back up the court after the second free throw, I turned around very quickly to at least see who it was that had been talking to me. I see the lady sitting there and she says, with a wicked smile "Ref. . . I had my hand on your @ss!"

I almost busted out laughing right on the court. Probably one of the funniest things that's happened to me during a game.

I was doing little league once and made an obvious pass interference call. As I came back to my sideline (who the penalty was on) both the coaches and the parent's were yelling at me that that wasn't pass interference since the pass was uncatchable. I turned to them all and said "That's only in college." The coach then yelled out "This isn't college ref." And I looked at him and said "Exactly." He then looked confused like it wasn't processing well. I just smiled as I positioned myself for the next play.

Yes folks it's true, little league coaches and fans have no clue on the rules.....

[Edited by Simbio on Oct 10th, 2003 at 08:46 AM]

That is so true. I've had people complain about uncatchable pass, encroachment not being a dead ball foul, defense jumps and they're yelling offsides, someone yelling forward lateral because it was pitched foward when QB was behind LOS. I have even had a coach say to me "I thought all facemasks for 15 yards." I just looked at him blankly.

I think they need to make a sheet that has NFL-NFHS rule differences and pass it out to the parents.

They should pass out a general rules sheet or something. AND, I think that before a coach can coach a single game, he has to have officiated at least one game.....maybe a whole season.......

I think all HS coaches and assistant coaches should have to take (and pass!) a rules exam. It doesn't have to be the ones we take (the ones with convoluted wording that seems to be trying more to trick you than to see if you understand how to officiate) ... just something to make sure they understand the basics of penalties and their enforcements, as well as oddities in looseball or kicking situations.

Heard the exact same question in the same situation by the coach of the offending team several years ago and Referee replies "Pick one".

REPLY: Team is on the verge of a giant upset until they give up 14 points inside of 2:00 to go. Coach whose team has just given up the lead has been chirping in my ear all afternoon. With his team now down by 5, things start to get chippy. U throws a flag for a PF after the try following the last TD. Now, as we line up for the kickoff, the player right behind me shouts in my ear, "You refs suck!" Out comes the flag and we march off an additional 15 (K's now kicking from R's 30). Coach is screaming at me, "Who said it? Tell me who said it." I calmly reply, "Number 40," who happens to be standing right next to the coach. He looks at the kid and says to me, "Well that's it. I'm not saying another word for the rest of the game." Of course, there's 20 seconds remaining now. I quietly replied, "Why didn't you think of that in the first quarter?" I know I shouldn't have said it, but it felt good at the time.

On my first crew, our umpire had rather short legs. 1st and 10: After 2 consecutive encroachment penalties on the defense, which he had walked off, the offense was still short of a first down! I encouraged him to find markings on the field, rather than use his stride to walk off penalties.

In NF high school games I've heard:
- "That was uncatchable!" (from a fan)
- "I was out of the box." (from a QB that I just flagged for intentional grounding) I told him to stop watching the NFL.
- "He was in the free blocking zone." (from a coach after I flagged his O-lineman for blocking from behind) - the play started with the shotgun formation - and the ball was near the sideline when the block from behind occurred. A little knowledge of the rules is a dangerous thing.

In HS game two weeks ago I was working LJ. Had a pass deep middle with an apparant push off by the offense. BJ throws flag. Before we get the signal, the coach for the defensive team says to me: "If that's on us (pointing to the flag) get another one ready for me!" Lucky for him it was on the offense.

Thought I heard it all...
 

I was working a Midget game Friday night. The team on my sideline called a timeout. I told coach to have the attendants bring water to the huddle. The coach asked for the attendant to bring water. The kid is looking all around in the team box for water. The coach became annoyed when 30 seconds went by and the kid still didn't bring water out to the huddle. He yelled at the poor kid who was frantically searching for the water. Coach then yelled "what are you doing...it's right in front of your eyes." The kid replied "No coach, that's Gatoraide!!!"

TRUE STORY! Happened on Friday, 10/10.

I shared this story with my Back Judge who actually topped this. His brother was at a circle (rotary) here in New Jersey. He asked his kid if any "cars" was coming because he couldn't see very well. The kid replied NO. His dad drove out onto the rotary....he was suddenly blindsided by a truck.

Ice Fishing
 

Nothng to do with football, but it is funny.

Overheard: "My dad goes ice fishing all year long."

Tough to do in Nebraska, in the summer

Tom

Here in North Dakota, it is almost possible. Seen snow in June.

"Summer in North Dakota is 3 months of bad sledding."

The officials wearing short sleeve in October in North Dakota. I Guess there's a first for everything.

Zman

Gotta love it. May be wearing short sleeves this Saturday for the playoffs.

Varsity game. A is leading 24-0 and still in first quarter. A is flagged for illegal sub/12 men on field. Coach says to me "your not gonna let us play with 12?" I said "coach, up 24-0 we should make you play with 10 for a half."

Was in the second quarter of a 3rd grade game. One of the players said we need to stop the game. I asked why. He said they forgot to do the National Anthem.

Was working chain on a varsity game. QB flushed out and throws ball way out of bounds nowhere near a receiver. R flags him for intentional grounding. An Assistant coach yells "He was out of the pocket" Head coach turns around and says to his assistant "congrats you just became the get back coach since you don't know that there is no out of the pocket in high school ball."

Varisty game. R flags the RB for a block below the waist on a LB. It occured in the end zone for a safety. I go to the head coach and tell him number 3, block below the waist, it was in the end zone so we have a safety. He said I need a better explanation then that. I said what do you need to know? The running back blocked the LB below the waist in the end zone. He said you mean to tell me that if we held in the end zone it would be a safety too? Uh yeah coach, spot of foul. (Now would it surprise you that that team won state and is (if you get into USA todays HS poll) one of the top ranked teams nationally?)

I've had two of them this season. I was WH for a JV game (first WH) and had intentional grounding. Coach screams he's out of the pocket, and I say, "that's on Sunday coach."

A funnier one was this past Monday. Team with 14 players dressed is getting hammered 40-0 in the second quarter (both coaches agreed and we had running clock 2nd quarter on). I'm LJ so I'm lining up the receiving team who's getting beaten. I give them the whole "mouth pieces in, blocks above the waist" spiel. On the 5th kickoff, I ask them, "do you know the drill?" One kid says, "yeah, we've heard it enough."

Later in the game it's 72-0, three minutes left and we're even running the clock during break between touchdown and kickoff. The same kid said, "take your time" as I was lining them up. I said, "I'll walk to the sideline." Both HL and I took our time getting ready for the KO. Poor kids, but they at least found SOME humor in it....

Friday night we had a game where the QB for the home team was extremely elusive. He would run back and forth across the field multiple times before running for a touchdown and was never touched.

At the end of one of these plays that covered 100 yards but only gained 10 I heard a defender say this, "He's like trying to catch a cat in a corner." I almost doubled over laughing.

During a freshman game a couple of weeks ago, I threw a flag for illegal formation at the snap... Of course, the play went for the longest gain of the day... As the ref was presenting the options to the defensive captains, the coach for the offense was yelling, "Decline it! Decline it!" I couldn't help but ask, "Has that ever worked?"

His response was, "No, not yet."

Kid getting out of control during a game where his team was getting killed, calls WH a "dumb F@%^&$ er" WH throws flag, looks at kid and calmly says, "you would have been all right if you hadn't called me dumb".

And if it did work it would be unsportsmanlike conduct.

Funniest things you've ever heard
 

Another twist on the illegal formation-six men on the line of scrimmage--offense has only 10 men on the field, 6 on the line. Flag for illegal formation, coach wants a number. I ignore. Same thing happens a couple more times during the game, each time coach wants a number and finally calls a timeout. He says you guys keep calling us for six men on the line but you refuse to give me a number. I calmly replied, Coach, we didn't get his number, he was on the bench.

Re: Funniest things you've ever heard
 

Why didn't you tell him this the first time he asked, very unprofessional, in my opinion, to make him call a timeout before you inform him.

w_sohl, you are kidding right?? maybe a there were only 10 on the field coach...but if they really don't understand why there isn't a number...they really shouldn't be teaching our younger generation the game...

No, I am not kidding. He said that he ignored the coach the first time he asked. How easy would it have been to just tell the coach when he asked the first time that he only had ten on the field instead of playing the power game? What would it hurt to inform the coach, did he really need to ignore him? Looks like someone is just looking for problems on the field. Not to difficult to say, "Coach, you only had ten on the field."

w-sohl
I didn't elaborate because I didn't think it was important to the humor of the situation. I was the referee. The coach was informed by my wingman what the penalty was for. That should have been sufficient. I didn't make him call a timeout for an explanation. The timeout was called by the opposing team. No power play intended.

It sounded like you were on that coaches sideline and he simply asked you and you just pretended that he wasn't there. That was the meaning that I got from the post. Did your wingman explain to him that he only had ten on the field or did he just tell him it was an illegal formation? If he had told the coach that he was short a player then the coach has bigger problems if he can't figure it out then.

w-sohl I thought this was supposed to be a humorous thread. You're making far too much out of it. The wingman did explain there was an illegal formation, six men on the line caused probably by having only ten players on the field. This should have been sufficient. Maybe I can satisfy -sohl by changing the end of the story. I call an official's time-out, calmly walk over to the sideline, pick out a player and inform the coach, "number 65 is his number, he was supposed to be in at left guard".

Like I said, this was the way I interpreted teh story the first time I read it:

It sounded like you were on that coaches sideline and he simply asked you and you just pretended that he wasn't there. That was the meaning that I got from the post. Did your wingman explain to him that he only had ten on the field or did he just tell him it was an illegal formation? If he had told the coach that he was short a player then the coach has bigger problems if he can't figure it out then.

Seeing that you left out some information and then getting that information enlightened me to the fact that the coach was not with it and that you were not being an a**hole. Yes your wingmans explanation should have been plenty, but the coach did not pay attention, hahahaha.

We had conclued pre-game with coaches and were standing in the home team box stretching. The punter was stilling warming up. Our WH was stretching with his head down and feet wide apart. Someone yelled "HEADS UP" which the WH did just as the ball landed right in front of him. He spent the rest of the pre-game sitting on the bence moaning with the rest of the crew laughing our heads off!!

I was working L in a big game envolving two rivals. The corners were working a close man coverage with a lot of bumping near the line. 3rd and 10 late and you know its a pass. Receiver and corner running down field and I'm right with them; I glance @ QB and he is cocked ready to throw. The receive curls inside and the corner makes a break on the ball and I'm saying "man this is going to be interesting". Suddendly they both stop and look directly at me and I'm thinking "what the hecks going on"? I look back at the QB and all I saw was the white stripe of the ball as it hit me directly in the mouth!

yes, I still have my teeth.

Did you have the presence of mind to signal imcomplete? :b

OUCH!

As a matter of fact I did. The fans enjoyed it a lot!

At a JV game the other night, one fan was continually badgering the refs from way up in the stands. At one point, he yells, "Come on, Ref! This isn't a basketball game!" Their coach (a nice guy) was right next to me and I mutter, "I have no idea what that means." He just says, "I'm embarrassed to say, that's my dad, and don't worry, neither do I."

Dark Humor
 

This one is funny many years later, but it is a bit dark humor.

About 10 or 12 years ago I was doing a varsity grade school game. One sideline was a "hot" sideline from the beginning. A player from that sideline was running a pass route and had the ball nearly in his hands when he "heard footsteps", got cold feet and dropped the ball. A coach ran out ranting...grabbed the kid by the facemask, jerked him around calling him a "pussy". I immediately threw a flag for unsportsmanlike penalty to which the coach responded, rather loudly, "You can't throw a penalty on me....he's my kid!". I preceded to toss the coach out of the game.

Lightening the mood....
 

Sometimes it can be a looooong time between live ball intervals. Here's a couple jokes I've played on the players to lighten the mood.

When the defense breaks from their huddle, look any player right in the eye and excitedly say "You've only got 11 players out here!". Watch as he turns and starts to count.....one player I did it to frantically started yelling to the sideline, "coach,coach,coach, we've only got ll out here, we've only got 11!" His sideline had fun with him on that one.

When setting up for a kickoff, especially in the dog days of summer, wait for the kicker to set the ball on the kicking tee. Then quietly and quite seriously look him in the eyes and say "You've got the ball upside down". Watch the ones that will turn the ball over on the tee. One time I did this the kid came walking back to the tee and his coach noticed him readjusting the ball. The coach yelled out to the kicker , "What's wrong?" to which the kid replied, "I had the ball upside down". The look on the coaches face was priceless.


giddyup

I may try that tonight in my final JV game... or maybe next Saturday at PeeWee. "You've got the ball upside down." Priceless.

JeMoore

Priceless is the word! I will remember those.

We're doing a state semifinal Sat. I may hold off on those until next year.

Forksref,

You're not doing the West Fargo game are you?

Zman

Zman

No, doing the Cavalier/Valley City game. We get to freeze! Should be playing it at the Alerus.

Who's doing the W. Fargo game?

I am mainly a football official, but do some basketball also, so I have to share this one, I guess you could apply it to football.

I'm trail in a intramural game at Indiana University, the offense dribbler makes a cut to the lane where he is subsequently sandwiched by three defenders. I call the block, as I am only a few feet away from the scorer; I start to back up to call the foul, trying to find a defensive number to call it on, without luck. I search around for about 4 or 5 seconds, when a defensive guy (#24) calls out "That was on me?!", and I go "ah!, foul on white 24 shooting 2," all the time myself and the scorer sporting the largest grins!

LOL....yeah, it's nice when they admit their guilt....even if they didn't mean to admit anything. It happens in football too from time to time.

Had a flag on a kick return. I turned and told the coach what I had and the number. He told me it was impossible. I said yeah I should have thought about that before I threw the flag since the kids hasn't blocked all year. Coach grumbled I was no fun since I stole his line.

Coaches had complained off an on during the game that number 99 on the opposing team was holding. Finally in the 4th quarter, when the ball game is well out of hand, an "old timer" assistant coach (old timer meaning that he has been a coach for over 40+ years) starts hollering that number 99 was holding already. A few seconds later the ball was snapped. Whole sideline busted out laughing.