How do you deal with this?

Sleeper · #1 (**permalink**) Mon Sep 22, 2003, 08:01am

I had a parent come across the field after a pee wee game to yell at me about tossing his kid for fighting. It was a pretty tense situation after a long day, and I told him to learn the rules and get a bottle if he was going to cry like that.

I was really frustrated with how I reacted, even after a long day.

Any suggestions on how to diffuse these situations? As a second-year official, I don't have any experience with this type of venom or voracity and it caught me off guard. With as much as I am calling, it is only a matter of time before I have this happen again. I just want to make sure that I am prepared next time.

JRutledge · #2 (**permalink**) Mon Sep 22, 2003, 08:16am

Try to get someone that is in charge to handle the situation. In many youth games, there are no game management people. You might just have the home coach responsible, but other than that you do not want to get into too much of a verbal contest with a fan. You are the only person that will lose in that battle. Mainly because they will might react in a way you do not like and accuse you of cursing at them or calling them names. Silence cannot be quoted.

Peace

BktBallRef · #3 (**permalink**) Mon Sep 22, 2003, 08:29am

Quote:

Originally posted by Sleeper
I had a parent come across the field after a pee wee game to yell at me about tossing his kid for fighting. It was a pretty tense situation after a long day, and I told him to learn the rules and get a bottle if he was going to cry like that.

I was really frustrated with how I reacted, even after a long day.

Any suggestions on how to diffuse these situations? As a second-year official, I don't have any experience with this type of venom or voracity and it caught me off guard. With as much as I am calling, it is only a matter of time before I have this happen again. I just want to make sure that I am prepared next time.

Get away from him as best as you can.

Don't inflame him further by making such remarks.

Keep a fellow official with you in such situations.

____________________

Oregon 31, Michigan 27

sm_bbcoach · #4 (**permalink**) Mon Sep 22, 2003, 11:39am

A good rule of thumb, after all levels (pee-wee-> Var) as a crew walk off the field together towards your cars or game management. Stay as a group so that people can not attack you individually. IF you do have this situation again, I would suggest that as they confront you, you remin silent except to say, lets find " your son's coach", or if youknow who the game management "lets stpe over here" in the direction of them. If they vent to you while tyou are walking back, let it go. Silence is theb est at this point. It is a no win situation if you say anything about it. A lot of times, the parents will not follow you and just leave.

Snake~eyes · #5 (**permalink**) Mon Sep 22, 2003, 12:50pm

Making the bottle comment was a bad idea. You went down to his level and probaly made the situation worse.

I do youthball and at our fields there is always a field comissioner. If you have a problem with something that occurs after the game then you need to go to him, he will take care of it.

The best thing you can do is walk away.

Ed Hickland · #6 (**permalink**) Mon Sep 22, 2003, 04:16pm

Try not to interact with these outraged people because no matter what you say you will be wrong.

One of the best methods is to "walk" them. Sometimes as you walk away they will continue to utilize their mouths to show their stupidity. And, that is fine. If they want to walk with you, walk them over to game management person.