"Coaches. We've already talked to your players about sportsmanship, but I just want to ask you to keep an eye out and take care of any problems before we have to step in. We will be playing the black line all the way around. Wait, no, it's green here, sorry.

We'll be watching for hand checking tonight, as well as palming. Please don't ask about three seconds. We'll be happy to answer any questions you might have, as long as you ask nicely.

Let us know what you want on timeouts, and remember that first horn is a warning horn. The rule is that we start playing right after that second horn.

If you think we've made a Correctable Error, please go to the scorer's table and inform them to hit the horn at the next dead ball. If it is indeed a correctable error, we'll not charge you the timeout. If it isn't, we will.

Also, here's the official book, please check it for accuracy."

As far as I'm concerned this is the same as "Black line all the way around." The coaches who tell us what they want will do so even if we don't remind them. The coaches who need reminding will still need reminding during a game regardless of what we say in a coaches meeting.

Based on what we have already discussed in another thread, I've cut my coaches' meeting down to: My name, then "Players properly equipped? Good luck."

Coaches and captains meeting...biggest waste of time.

All I say in my meeting to players is "listen to us when we are talking to you." I want them to know that we are being helpful or else. Later this can be used to help us when things start to go off the rails.

Then I let the players go and the rest is to remind the coach about the coaching box (emphasized in our state) and ask them are their players properly equip. It takes less than a minute and we go about our business.

I would rather not talk to coaches, but someone had to make an inappropriate comment to players when we were in the middle of the court, so here we are.

Peace

I'd be good with that. I don't even ask about being legally equipped. No coach has never told me they weren't and there is no penalty even if they are.

Last 2 person game of the year tonight!!!

Some things are required by the state.

The explanation I have heard is that some coaches don't want to tell us right away so they can milk a few more seconds before we start the timeout clock. Some R's here tell the coaches about timeouts and assure them we will wait until both teams are in the huddle to start the clock.

I can see what you're saying. I don't always say it actually. I usually will do it if I don't know the coaches or haven't had them before. I don't really have any rhyme or reason to it. Maybe I'll just stop saying it all together.

We're in the same state (mj and I). And I'll probably take mj's advice and shorten this even more. It eliminates the R having to go last in order to ask the question. :)

Working a 3-person girls game tonight. Last regular season game for me - working with two partners I've never met before.

Waste of time, but gotta do it
 

In Kentucky, we are required to read the sportsmanship card. I usually start the meeting by waving it around saying: "The card I'm not going to read is all about sportsmanship, so everybody play nice!" I then ask the coaches if everybody is legally and properly equipped. They always answer yes. "Thanks guys, good luck!" No more than a minute.

I did get one partner good this year, though. I was one of the umpires, and we were commenting before the game what a waste of time the captains/coaches meeting is. He went through the "play nice/legally equipped" stuff, then out of habit looked at us if we had anything to add. The other umpire started to back out and I stepped up and said (in my best Barney Fife impersonation: "Now boys! Tonight we're not gonna put up with any nonsense. We're nipping in the bud!"

Both coaches and the R about swallowed their gum. The kids also got a chuckle. The look on the R's face when I stepped up was priceless.

You're all forgetting the most important thing. "If the ball gets away, you get it, because I don't feel like playing ballboy tonight" !!:D:D:D

Silly Monkeys ...
 

"Speaking captains? What're your numbers? Are you starting?"

To the captains: Introduce myself and my 2 partners. Ask the visiting team "any questions about the court?" Ask everyone "your all pretty good students aren't you?" "you behave yourselves in class?" "This is another classroom. We expect you to behave the same way here as you do during the day in class" Then I get a spokesperson from each team to designate as one who will settle down any unsporting behavior by their teammates. Then I ask my partners if they anything to add. Then it's "good luck to both teams".
Sounds like a lot but it takes about a minute or less.
To the coaches: Introduce myself. Ask: are all players are properly equipped? Is your scorebook is ready? Make sure to designate if you want a 30 or full time out. Point out to try and stay within the coaches box and "do your thing!" Then it's "good luck"!!

Here's what the players hear:

"Blah, blah, blah. Blah."

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