Okay, help us out. How did the two of you end up on this game if there's no assignors? Are there veteran officials you can work with? How do you get games?

Realizing that both of you are inexperienced, you really need to work separately, each with a veteran official. Two rookies working a game together is pretty much asking for trouble. It's not fair to the players, coaches or to you.

We all have rough games even years later. I would not worry about it. You will have more that will make you roll your eyes for what just took place. Like others that have stated, it is sometimes better to have a crew member that has some experience to get you in the right mind set or get the train from going off the tracks. Two young guys (officials of course) makes a game very difficult if you do not have the experience to know what to do to get yourself out of a bad situation. Or the experience to know what you are going through sometimes just happens. None of us are perfect and I am sure it was not as bad as you thought. I think you are your son probably need to be evaluated more and work with others from time to time. It would help you get the right perspective.

Peace

You've had some good feedback so far, I want to add that no matter how you feel about your game, you can't let the coach get away with that behavior. That's often a bigger part of keeping control than calling fouls.

The biggest thing, don't be afraid to over blow the whistle. Most officials go through a progression that starts with being afraid to blow the whistle. You think you're too late, but you're not. Don't be afraid of a late whistle.

Same. However you were assigned the game it'll help both you and your son more if you work with a veteran. It doesn't guarantee a smooth night but at least you have someone with you who should know how to either get out of trouble or stop it before it starts.

As was said earlier, don't worry about putting air in the whistle especially if the teams are playing rough. Either they figure it out or you're there for 2½ hours and everyone fouls out. One of my mentors once said, "They're going to get mad if you blow the whistle and they're going to get mad if you don't, so you might as well blow the whistle."

Regarding the coach: you may feel as though you didn't do a good job but that doesn't give him the right to call a TO and rip you about it. His job is to coach his team. If he wants to rip into you let him do it on some coaches' internet forum :)

I try to avoid using this phrase when thinking about my own game. (everybody else using it is enough:D:D) No matter where you are in a game, it is never too late to regain that control. Sometimes when a game gets very rough, it is overwhelming.

"It was so rough and there was so much going on it was hard to sort it all out."


The good news is you don't have to sort it all out. You can "regain control", if you want to put it that way. If a game is that rough, usually you will have no trouble finding a call to make. Don't worry so much about the 3 other things which may have happened before, during, and after the action at hand. Just don't give in and quit on the game.

Also, try to think of at least one positive thing you got out of the game... surely, there is one.

In the journal I'm keeping, I try to record things I thought I did well in addition to the things I feel I should work on or be mindful of for the next game.

I'm sure at some point I'll have the game from h-e-double toothpicks and wonder what I got myself into. But just remember the next game is always a chance to start fresh.

Just a thought.......

Not sure you should be doing games with your son.....

I assign another sport and have two sets of father / sons....

Kept them apart their first two years, to your son you aren't his partner, you
are his father. Trust me, that is not fair to him. Likewise you are out there
trying to protect your son not your partner....Just one man's opinion.

Agreed, not with them both breaking in at the same time. I have called some games with my son, (jr. high and below) but I was officiating before he was born.:D

One Lump Or Two ???
 

"Coach. I may have missed that one, but it doesn't give you the right to yell at me in an unsporting way. Please have a cup of "T" and take your seat."

OK. Don't say the last sentence, just think it as you give him the "T" signal.

I'd love to be able to say this to a coach and actually keep a straight face :D

I officiate a lot of contests with my father each year. I think the experiences have brought us closer together and I consider him one of my best partners. We are simply on the same page for so many things. Of course, we weren't trying to learn the trade together. He already had 30+ years of officiating under his belt.

That said, I agree with the sentiment above. Develop your skills separately for a couple years. I don't think it would hurt to attend each other's games and offer praise/criticism afterwards. But, there's a certain amount of distance you should keep for the first couple years, especially DURING the contests. Let each of you learn from your own mistakes on the court, then post-game (preferably after a post-game with your partners) what went right and what went wrong.

Right here is where you whack the coach. Two wrongs don't make it right.

Everyone has bad games especially when they start out. I'm in my 2nd year, I had a couple of stinkers last year it happens. It's also really easy when working with inexperienced people to lose control of a game.

However, that does not give anyone associated with that the game the right to berate you for that. At the very minimum a good solid "coach I've heard you, that's enough" may work for you, or just call the technical, if you feel that you should have and didn't, you should have. By not reigning them in, you've made it that much worse for you in your future if you should see them again soon or for the next officials that follow you because that coach is going to play them too.

Think about what you could do differently next time but once the ball goes up on the next game, clear your mind, the best medicine for a bad game is to do another.

I've umpired baseball for 20 years, there have been nights I've left the strike zone in the parking lot, it happens, suck it up for that night and get them again tomorrow.

You'll find it easier as you go, it really takes 10-15 games to start feeling even remotely comfortable. Keep at and really don't let others walk on you.

Adam brings up a very good point about blowing the whistle. Don't let things go because you think that you are too late. I still have to work on this and I am in my third year. You are not really late with a whistle ( except in your mind). I certainly remember that in my first year the game seemed very fast. It does get better with experience so hang in there.

I think I would say that the other way around. Father and son thought it would be fun to officiate. As both get more experience they tend to work together less as both officials start to develop their own way of doing things.

Its no different than the father / son relationship. They participate together, develop, then find others (typically in their age range) to learn from, but in the end they still talk and offer support to each other.