Coach goes postal

[rainmaker]

Summer league, end of "season", hot, tired, etc.

I took a set of games for last night that had a freshman, a jv, and a varsity (girls). All different schools. Got through the first two, no problem, but knowing the last could be a doozy (two running teams), we saved some energy, and some concnetration. So partner and I were ready and rarin' for the last one. As the teams were gathering, I realized that I had looked at the schedule wrong and the teams I expected weren't there. Who WAS there was a team with a very mouthy and loud coach. But one thing I've been working on is to start each game fresh, don't expect trouble, etc. I had seen her coach a very close, well-fought game earlier in the week with absolutely no yelling at the ref at all, so I figured she was learning, and we could have a fun evening. But you can figure from the title of this thread that's not the way it worked out.

My partner didn't get back fast enough after the toss, and I think he probably missed a foul, being out of position, and she was off, running her mouth, complaining, getting more and more worked up. The parents were also chiming in and of course, the girls weren't playing very well. I ran past the bench once, paused, listened, nodded, tried to be available. Next time down, gave the, "I hear you" shtick. She didn't even break stride. I doubt she heard me. Finally, stop sign and "I've heard enough" (about four minutes into the game). After about 25 or 30 more seconds, partner made a call, and as we switched, she started coming out onto the floor at me screeching and gesticulating. I put up the stop sign again, and said, "I heard you" but she just kept on. I turned to walk away, and she continued coming out onto the floor. Sheez!! WHACK!! "YOU CAN"T T ME WITH OUT AT LEAST TWO WARNINGS!!! I CANT BELIEVE THIS #$%^&^%$#.."

Dad at the table joins in, waving the score book around and saying, "You can't treat us this way, this is just too incredible, who hired you anyway?" (This made me laugh, since I hired myself, but I tried not to show any sign...) On and on, and she starts following me across the floor again!!! I turned around and said, "Coach, you need to stay on the bench now" and I really don't think she heard me because she was yelling so loudly and so continuously.

It really reminded me of one of my children who, at four, would have a temper tantrum for two or three hours about absolutely anything. Just scream and cry and yell for hours and hours, and nothing helped, except some growing up.

But because now several parents were standing up and yelling things, and the whole gym was just getting out of control, I had to T her again. I tried so hard not to. Remember, we hadn't even shot the first T shots yet, in fact, there wasn't even a shooter yet. But this voice was just filling the gym and sort of crowding out any normal flow.

I tried to talk quietly to her, "Coach, you need to leave now," and then she really went nuts, stalking back and forth, waving her arms, throwing things, and these parents are coming down out of the stands, yelling at me and my partner. We're talking serious insults and invective here. I was on the verge of looking for a security guard when she says, "Well, I hope you're happy now, these poor girls can't play. You've ruined it for them, because there's no one here who can coach so we'll just have to go home. Forfeit, there that's what you wanted, wasn't it??" On and on.

I motioned to my partner, walked to the table, said, "White forfeits" and we got the $%^#* out of Dodge.

Five minutes. Sheez.

Okay, I feel better now. Thanks for listening. Maybe the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about, after all!!

[Edited by rainmaker on Jun 28th, 2003 at 08:58 PM]

[Jurassic Referee]

Hot shower,something cold to drink,and file that one under "fuggeddaboutit".

These happen to everyone now and then.You didn't kick the coach out.She kicked herself out.Wouldn't have mattered who did the game.

[Mark Padgett]

Juulie - as we discussed on the phone after your game, this is a coach with a negative reputation. I had a problem with her earlier this summer season (and you know I normally never have any problems with coaches) and she needs to take a chill pill. She is always way out of control and seems to need to prove something to the parents of her players. Unfortunately, that "something" seems to be that she is always:
1) right
2) picked on
3) the greatest coach in the universe

Maybe someday she will learn the game is for the kids. I hope so for her sake.

Originally, you told me you had her again tomorrow, just after my games and I was going to stay and observe (and maybe be the bouncer), but now you found out that, even though her team will be there, she won't because of a scheduling conflict. Damn. I was looking forward to that.

BTW - Juulie was considering taking herself off the game tomorrow if that coach was there and giving the game to me. I was prepared to handle her by throwing a bottle of Midol at her - the coach, not Juulie.

Also BTW to Juulie - didn't I tell you your partner was the second best young referee I had ever seen? He definitely will be working college someday - maybe higher.

[BktBallRef]

Originally posted by Mark Padgett
BTW - Juulie was considering taking herself off the game tomorrow if that coach was there and giving the game to me. I was prepared to handle her by throwing a bottle of Midol at her - the coach, not Juulie.

It better be the biggest damn bottle they sell!

Juules, if you'll put me on her next game, I'll use my frequent flyer miles to fly out.

[Nevadaref]

Don't feel it bit bad about it, Juulie. You waited MUCH longer to kick her out than I would have.
PS I had to toss a father from a girls JV game tonight between the end of regulation and the start of overtime. Of course, I was pathetic and missed so many calls and just took the game away from them. Blah, blah, blah. So, they won by 1 in OT with him pressing his nose against a glass door while standing on the sidewalk outside.
After the game three other parents came up to me saying that he has repeatedly been a problem and been thrown out before. One guy also said that while he is obviously not a good basketball fan, he is a heck of an orthopedic surgeon. My response was, "Very professional!!!"

Hey, Vietti, now that you know my temperment, you better be ready for our games tomorrow morning!

[Edited by Nevadaref on Jun 29th, 2003 at 12:50 AM]

[Dan_ref]

Originally posted by BktBallRef

It better be the biggest damn bottle they sell!

Juules, if you'll put me on her next game, I'll use my frequent flyer miles to fly out.

Hey, I'll work that game with ya!

Juulie - ya done good!

[rainmaker]

Thanks for the replies. Because of a couple of problems that WERE mine in the past, I was struggling a little with this, but I really think my issues are in the past, and hers just aren't.

Next year, I fully intend to put Dan, Tony and Mark on 3-person on at least one of her games. We'll be selling tickets, but they won't be cheap!

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by rainmaker
Next year, I fully intend to put Dan, Tony and Mark on 3-person on at least one of her games.

[BktBallRef]

Originally posted by ChuckElias

\

Okay, let Chuck work a game, too. We don't want him pouting for the next year!

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by BktBallRef
Okay, let Chuck work a game, too.

[rainmaker]

As hilarious as it would have been to see Padgett work a game Sunday with this coach, it didn't happen. Her team had cancelled, and another team had taken the game, although I didn't know that when I posted, I was working from an old copy of the schedule. As it happened, though, Friday's opponent DID play, although they had not originally been scheduled for that game, either (summer league is, shall we say, fluid.) It was heart-warming and humorous, how many choice comments the coaches, parents, and even a couple of players had about the situation. I was very professional, and didn't say anything negative at all -- just soaked it up. Also, I noticed that there was absolutely NO complaining from anyone during the Sunday game. Guess they've developed a new respect for my "firm" authority!

One aspect I had not considered is that these two teams play each other during the season, as they are in the same league. It's a very competitive league with three of the state's top teams. Coaches had some interesting reflections on some of the politics of dealing with her over the past year.

It just makes me very sad to see what those players are being taught and what it says about our society when someone like this is allowed to work in a position like this. Simply unbelievable.

[theboys]

It floors me that parents would let their children play for a coach with such obvious anger management problems. Too many better choices to put up with that kind of crap. Is this a high school coach?

[JugglingReferee]

Originally posted by rainmaker
Next year, I fully intend to put Dan, Tony and Mark on 3-person on at least one of her games. We'll be selling tickets, but they won't be cheap!

Can this game have a live video stream out to the net so that all of us can have a looksie?

Mike

[Mark Padgett]

Originally posted by theboys
It floors me that parents would let their children play for a coach with such obvious anger management problems. Too many better choices to put up with that kind of crap. Is this a high school coach?

Yes - this is a HS coach. However, from my observations, the parents are of the same mind set. How sad for the kids.

[Mregor]

In my observations, the kids emulate their parents. When you have a howling coach and a bunch of parents, the kids are usually the same. Nothing worse that a very young kid acting like a freakin' NBA star. It works both ways. I remember a few years back I was dong a JV game. The visiting team was clearly overmatched. Right away I noticed that the players on the V team were adressing me as sir, saying thank-you, asking questions politely not whining, etc. That almost never happens so I started to watch the coach during TO's. Even though they were getting beat badly in the game, the first comment he had to his team was a positive one, (i.e. that was a great look to see Bill open, next time try a bounce pass and we'll get an easy layup). The parents were very supportive, even though the home team wouldn't call off the dogs and was pressing in the 4Q up by probably 3x the v score. I ended up writing a letter to the AD and ended it with the something along these lines... "In my opinion, the behavior of the coaches, players and fans is consistent and reflects the values of the community they represent. If that is a correct correlation, xxx must be a wonderful place to live and raise a family." I truly believe that and if I ever move, I know a vew communities I'll never move to.

mregor