I'm as closed minded as you folks on this issue. You think I'm wrong, I think you're wrong. What's the difference?

That is why I almost never use their first name. I have done it, but it is probably so rare that I can count on one hand over my career when it happens. And I always feel uneasy if I think to use a coach's first name.

Peace

I can only speak for me. I did not say you were wrong. I said what I do. You and I could work together and if you use only your first name it would not bother me. I would just say my full name and we would keep it moving. This is not something I would get upset with as I would not care how you pack your cloths in your bag or what kind of bag you bring to the game. If it makes you happy, do what makes you happy.

Peace

I never said you were wrong in your approach. I stated what I do.

You are the one who said anyone who introduces themselves to children as "Mr. ***" is stuffy, idiotic, and unapproachable.

I do not want to be approached by players, that is what their coach is for. And I hardly have a problem talking to coaches. But considering the things I read you say about situations, I certainly cannot be seen as any more unapproachable than you are (and I do not mean that in a bad way before someone takes it that way). You put up with a lot less crap than I do. ;)

Peace

Really? Because that's not what you said....

So coaches can call you by your full name but not just your first name?

I have worked with some good umpires as well, and they always use first names and coaches use first names in return. I don't want to be called "ump" or "blue" by a college coach, so first names are more personal.

In high school, it depends on how well I know the coach.

You won't talk to players on the court/field at all? Even if they're asking a question and being polite?

False.

Nobody has said it's "idotic" to introduce themselves by first name only.

Nobody but you has stated that someone is "unapproachable" because they don't let kids call them by their first name.

I talk to players all the time and allow them to talk to me as long as they do so in a respectful manner. I'm as approachable as they come and I don't allow high school players to call me by my first name.

I actually want to be approachable to players, provided it's not to whine about individual calls.

I'm a lot more mellow than I used to be the first 15 years I worked. I had two situations this week where I would've whacked the coach/player 10 years ago. The first was an assistant coach that accused me of fouling out a player (on a call I didn't even make) during a timeout and instead of engaging him, I turned my back and walked away. The second was a kid who threw his arms in the air and disagreed pretty vehemently after I called a foul on him and I had a few words with him rather than calling a technical -- as I reported, his coach told me "I'm sorry about that, I'll take care of him." The other coach wanted a technical called, but then again of course he did.

I suppose I seem pretty inflexible on the first name thing and there's a chance I'm intentionally winding people up on this thread :D , but mainly it's just a quick chuckle under my breath on the court and I could easily work with Jeff and others anywhere. I'll admit it and let it go -- it's really not that big a deal.

:rolleyes:

I know you can really late to this conversation. I do not need to re-post them, but I said previously in this very thread that I do not allow players to call me by my first name and coaches can because they are adults. All you have to do is look back in this thread and that will be understood. I get why you were confused in the comments you quoted if you did not read any other comments, but if that is something you want to debate what I meant, then you will have to do that by yourself. Hope that clears it up for you.

I am not out there to be personal, I am out there to be professional. If you want a personal relationship that is your right, but not my objective when I work any game. And as I said before (if you paid attention), I do not know all coaches that well. You can go to the same school every other year and there is a new coach. I am not great with names unless I have seen you or had extensive conversations with you and that almost never happens with coaches. So I want to call them by their title. They did after all earn that.

Like I said before, do you. If it works for you I still will do what works for me.

Peace

FWIW, I think the stripes are what make it clear you aren't their peer.

There are guys I work soccer with who will yellow card a coach for using their first names. But that's a bit more about soccer culture perhaps.

I've gone back and forth across the years. Currently, I use my first name only with players and first and last with coaches. I expect both to address me by ref, referee or sir and I address them by number or coach, respectively.

I only make an issue of a coach calling me by name if it happens more than infrequently and I then ask him to stop referring to me by my first name. (The reason of course is that it does imply familiarity which can give the appearance of the lack of neutrality.)

When do players talk to us seriously when they are not whining? That is the vast majority of the time they say anything to us unless we address them first. And even then I do not call them by their name, I call them by their number. And there are many players I know who they are based on the status the media gives them.

It isn't a big deal at all which is why I said if you did one thing I would not bat an eye and do what I always do.

Peace

FWIW, I know idiotic and stuffy people who spend 6 months out of 24 in the Middle East and SW Asia. I do thank them for their service.

I also know sensible people who don't spend any time in the service.

Oh -- put me on the side of "first name" (I don't think a game is the same as a social occasion, so different etiquette rules can apply), but it doesn't bother me either way.

And that is naive if you think that is the case all the time. There are players that feel they can talk to me because we share some features that they will not say things to others that wear the same stripes. So the color of our uniform does not always decide how folks treat or talk to us. ;)

Peace

You might just want to be more clear next time. This post clearly states that you don't allow coaches to call you by your first name.