We all at one time or another in our officiating career need to talk, discuss, relay information to a coach that may not see things the same way that we did.

I'd like to get a sampling of some of your best replys that quelled those situations and also some that you used that made the situation worse.

Oh, Dave!!!!! ;);):D:D

This I always thought was the best comeback ever, but it came from a coach to a ref. I don't remember who the official was, but former North Carolina State coach Jim Valvano asked an official once, "Can you T me up for what I'm thinking?" When the official replied that he could not, Valvano said, "Well then, I think you suck!"

Valvano did not receive a technical, in part because the official was trying not to laugh too hard.

I've only used one defusing comment that did not come from this board and that was two weeks ago. Both coaches had been chirping all game and my partner had told them as long as they controlled themselves we would be lax on enforcing the coaching box.

Early in the third quarter there was a crash on the baseline with me at trail on the table side, so i was between both coaches...a few feet on the floor. Just as the crash occurs the ball goes OOB on the baseline and my partner passes on the crash and awards the ball appropriately. Both coaches yell for a foul at the same time. Since it was a dead ball, I turn and say "Which one of you wants a foul called on his team cause you can't both be right." They look at each other and both grin. It actually got them to tone down the chirping, then the game got close and they were too busy to worry about us.

Not the best line, I know...but I'm a bean counter and supposedly we have no personality. :)

Not your best line!?!? I think it's great!!! I'm writing it down for future reference.

Was working a game where the assistant coach was riding my partner and my partner said, "I may have to take that from Batman, but I'm sure not taking it from Robin. Sit down." I still laugh at that one.

Mregor

I like that one!

Hey Larry, for a guy with no personality you sure came up with a good one! I'm putting that one in my bag tonight.

:D

Larry
It's people like you who can find humor in their work while doing a serious job that make it all that much more fun. Great line, one that shows a good side of you to both coaches and demonstrates that you are on that day!

If Jimmy V said this, then he stole it from Adolph Rupp. This exact situation was attributed to coach Rupp in a book written by Cawood Ledford(longtime U of K radio broadcaster), I believe.

The dialogue went something like this:

Ref: Coach, if I hear one more word from you, you're gone.

Coach Rupp: O.K., sir, but May I think something?

Ref: Sure

Coach Rupp: Good. I think you stink.

Ref: TWEEEEEEEEET!!!

Here's one that came from buddy of mine:

Situation: JV game, one team is far superior to the other.
Player for lesser team drives to the basket, is wildy out of control, and falls as he throws the ball toward the basket.

Coach: C'mon Ref! Help me out here!

Ref: Coach, the only way I could help you would be to pass and shoot for your team!

Coach:
"We have 8 fouls and they only have 3...this can't be possible!"

Official:
"Coach, are you accusing me of cheating?"

Coach:
"Of course not"

Official:
"Then you must be asking me to start cheating"

End of Conversation

Situation in a Boys Freshman game.
 

Home = Blue; Visitors = Black

Opponents scramble for a loose ball; black pushes it, but it contacts blue’s hand as it sails into the crowd.

(Tweet) “Black” (point toward black’s hoop)

Home coach calls time-out.

As I wait at the location of the ensuing throw-in, a father (located 4 rows up, behind me) who had been chirping off an on since the beginning of the game challenges my last call and my ability to officiate. “That should be blue ball! Blah, blah, blah…. How long have you been officiating?”

In a slight lapse of my usual professional demeanor, I turned toward the heckler and responded with a stern posture, “We are 2:19 into the second quarter so that would mean I have been officiating 10:19.” I paused then with a smile on my face I continued, “But I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”

All those who heard my retort began to chuckle. I did not have any additional problems with the crowd that night.

Disclaimer: I've only said this at very low level games, and usually not to coaches, only to fans.

C'mon ref, give us a break. C'mon ref, have a heart. etc.

I say, "If you want sympathy, call your mother. If you want charity, call the salvation army. I have a job to do."

Being someone who is sarcastic by nature, mostly at myself, one of the things I have tried to keep in check is my quick tongue. This has made me dialogue less with coache then I probably should BUT these were a few I think we fun:

Coach "You can't call that"
Me "Yes I can.......I just did"

After a player was getting a little too excited about a defensive play he just made I blew the whistle to talk to give the kid a warning to leave the ball alone:
"#34, I know you made a great defensive play, you know you made a great defensive play, your coach, their coach, the crowd and certainly that player knows you made a great defensive play. Don't spoil it by having them see you get T'd up. Then they will think that play was just luck."

Coach screaming for me to call a foul, after I blew the whislte.
Me "Coach, I blew the whistle and called the foul, now if it all right with you I would like to report it and get back to the game". The call was in her favor, and one she had wanted all night.

Now the ones I have THOUGHT about saying........