OT - funniest comment?
 

I ran into a fellow ref yesterday (no, not with my car) and he asked me what was the funniest comment I ever heard at a game. I had to think for a minute (which is extremely difficult for someone my age) because I've heard so many funny ones and it would be really hard to pick just one out. However, I came up with this one:

Coach B keeps complaining every time A1 is dribbling. A1 dribbles really "high" and sometimes very "low", but breaks no rules. After yet another complaint, my partner (this was a few years ago) tells Coach B that there's nothing illegal about the way A1 has been dribbling. Coach B says, "Yeah, I know - but it looks really ugly." Partner replies, "Coach, if looking ugly was against the rules, you wouldn't be allowed in the gym." The coach had a good sense of humor and just laughed.

I don't know if that was the funniest ever, but it's probably in my top five.

What about you guys?

I had a noisy fan once stand up and yell at me " That was a terrible call ...(after a short pause) ... even for you !!! I had to admit that I got a chuckle out of that one. :D:D:D

"I'm not joking."

From a JV coach (whom I found out later had won state titles at the varsity level in another region of the state) after seeing me grin at his insinuation that his player's butt cheek becomes his "pivot" upon falling down with the ball.

"Go back to school and get your patch!" JV fans. (I was wearing a "naked" shirt due to a busy week.)

2 players going after a "loose ball" A shoves B (tweet) Bs ball.

Coach A: No way that can be a foul!! Its a loose ball!!

Parent of B: So we have a free-for-all everytime the ball is loose?!?!?

I just started clapping :D

Hmm, Quick Count? Sound familiar?
 

My most recent one:

Late in the second quarter of GV (or VG) game and I am T and one of my P's (the R) is inbounding the ball on the endline. I'm chopping clock too of course. TWEEET! P announces, "Five seconds."

H Coach, "What? You've got to be kidding? That fast?"

We discussed it at half time as I too thought the count was pretty quick and when I heard the TWEET I thought the player had called a TO. Nope, P says it was a good 5 sec count.

Me = ok.

Now, the H Coach has a great attitude. His team is down by 20 and we're late in the 3rd quarter. I call a foul, report, and am now T for FT's. The R is now C and he's counting.....coach yells to his FT shooter, "You better hurry up, 'Quick Draw' is counting!

R and I grinned as we thought it was pretty funny as we remembered the ole cartoon character.

I whispered to the coach, "Don't worry about it, she's got till TEN this time."

My latest favorite was from a football game I worked this year. I flagged pass interference on a 2 point try attempt and it just happens to be against my sideline. All 50 coaches (slight exaggeration) went nuts like I had done something really obscene directed at them, kind of like seeing a cage full of monkies get all riled up. Anyways, as I'm heading back to the sideline for the kick off, I have one coach following me yelling "COME ON YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT!"

It took everything in my power not to reply "I wouldn't be so quick to make that judgment coach..." :D

Still my favorite...
 

A1: "Coach! I need a quick sub!"
Coach A: "I don't have a quick sub. You're all slow!"

Another of my personal favorites froim a few yrs ago......
 

Halftime, B12 Rec League Game.

A Coach comes up and says, "Ref, you gotta watch B5. When he sets his screens, he jumps into the player and hooks his arm and has a tendency to hold."

I said, "I haven't noticed it, but I'll keep an eye out."

He says, "Seriously, he does it all the time. I know, I taught him last year when he played for me..... He's crafty about it too."

OK - here's two involving the sons of former NBA players. I reffed them in our local kids rec league when they were young kids. First: Maurice Lucas Jr. (called "Reece") was along the FT line waiting for a kid from the other team to shoot his FTs. Apparently, Reece thought it was a 1 and 1, not 2 shots, because when the kid missed, Reece jumped really high to grab the rebound, came down swinging his elbows and screaming. He then looked around and realized there was another shot coming. His dad, "The Enforcer", was in the stands and yelled, "Reece - get your head in the game. Nice board, though."

The other was a game I was working that had Kenny Carr's son in it. Every time the other team's point guard was dribbling the ball, Kenny would yell from the bleachers, "travel, travel, that's a travel, he's traveling" or something similar. Finally, I went over to him and said, "Kenny, you played in the NBA. How would you know what a travel is?" He grinned and said, "You know, you got a point."

So, right.
 

Pssttt...26, you know that's actually Baba Looie, Quick Draw McGraw's sidekick? You know, the cute, little one that tags along and plays the straight man? You, know, kinda like that squirrel that pops up around here every now and then?

(Quick Draw's on the right...)
http://www.toontracker.com/huck/quick%20draw-004.jpg

Baba Loouie was agreeing with the sentiment about his partner. Do I have to explain EVERYTHING?

To me? Well, duh... :D

Did he grow up to be Howard Stern's sidekick?

I knew Baba Looey. He was a friend of mine. Howard Stern's sidekick is no Baba Looey.

As I don't post pictures, I'll just keep tossing you guys softballs to whack over the fence!

Just ask Snagglepuss! ;)

What are you trying to do, turn me into Billy?

I got about halfway through the Google search for a pic, then decided to exit, stage left.

Here, let him go first.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H1naTPY8IE...nagglepuss.jpg

Along the same line....

Working a HS FP softball game last year, Coach B walks by me before the game and tells me to watch Team A's leadoff hitter...if she gets on base, she will leave early every time.

Me: OK, coach, we'll watch her.

Coach: I taught her how to do it on my summer team, but I'll be dammed if she's going to do it to me here!

I was L with the cheerleaders in a line about two feet behind me and I hear one of them say, "Oh look, we're ahead!!"

I think I have shared these:
VERY small gym. Partner and I get togther to clear up some confusion on who is shooting FT.
As I retreat back to my spot opposite table, I hear a lady "What are you all talking about there. I know. You talkin about getting some hookers after the game. After all you done F*&* us all nite, why stop after the game". I start laughing and the lady next to her says "Shhh, I think he heard you!". I didn't have the heart to throw her out b/c I was laughing so much.

Just last week: "Why can't my player get a call when he initiates the contact?"

Coach "Would your wife have liked that call?"
Me "It depends whether I was the one that made it or not"
Coach: "Why is that?"
Me "If I called it she would think it was the worst call ever. If someone else made it she would wonder why I didnt such an obvious call"
Coach "Damn, now I remember why your wife and I are friends!"

I had a girls HS rec game and one of the coaches was acting like a real jerk (so what's new?). During a TO, I was at the table and said to the scorer from his team (who was one of the moms) "Is he always like that?" She replied, "Yes, and I ought to know - I'm his ex-wife." :D

Gee - she wasn't a blonde, was she? :rolleyes:

In Oklahoma at the varsity level we play a girls game followed by the boys game. The center for the girls' team, a tall attractive girl, now cheerleader for the boys game, ask me during a timeout, "if I were as tall as you do you think I could dominate you?" I thought, but didn't say, you don't have to be as tall as me!

And one from our side...
 

I'm working at a high school tournament game in a non-officiating capacity. I'm a couple feet behind an endline, near the opposite-side corner.

A friend of mine in stripes calls a player control foul against A-10 near the division line. Team B's fans erupt in cheers and applause.

My friend reports the foul, hustles to my end line, glances at me and says, "Sure, NOW they love me!"

Like the Abe Lincoln GEICO ad....

JVB game. A down by 10 middle of the 4th Qtr. B is employing a full court man to man press. A1 inbounds to A2 in the backcourt (A2 must be a linebacker on the football team as well, big/strong kid) who proceeds to make a few dribbles and run right through and over B1 who has good LGP.

B1 is knocked down and slides 15 feet down court on his back.

Tweet! Player-control foul on A2. Who then says under his breath, “It’s his own fault. Boys, gotta get out of my way when I’m going to the hole.”

I once told a scorekeeper before a game that there was a new rule and he had to keep the book in Latin. For a moment, I think he thought I was serious. He then smiled and asked if I meant pig-latin, because that he could do. I replied, "Essyay". During the game, when we would check with him on fouls, etc., he would answer us in pig-latin. It was pretty funny.

I wonder how one would say "chseagle" in pig-latin? :p

Spot throw-in for the home team on their BC endline following a TO. I'm C, hanging in the BC due to a press, standing right in front of the home bench.

T gives the ball to the thrower, who immediately throws across the lane to a teammate who steps OOB to take the pass. I pause, no whistle from my partner so I get it. As I turn to glance at the table, I see the coach shaking his head and smiling. "I just taught them that play in practice yesterday."

My favorite--We were working at a school for the first time. Kid travels twice in a row, then tosses the ball down to the other end of the floor. Being the warm and gentle man my partner was, he asked the kid to go get the ball. As soon as the player handed it to my partner--"T" time.

We could hear the coach at half time yelling at the kid "These aren't the B squad officials--they aren't going to put up with your s***"

I still love that coach. :D

A patient whistle if there ever was one.

From the student section "Hey Ref I know this is your cell phone over here cuz you got 5 missed calls"

That one is pretty old and tired.