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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Wed Nov 06, 2002, 04:09pm
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Location: Cincinnati, OH
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JR, Just so you didnt think I forgot ya......here's one for the old guys.....signed, Svelt Ref from Ohio


An 80 year old man went to Hollywood to pick up a prostitute and get some action. He noticed one hooker in particular and started flirting with her. The prostitute started becoming annoyed and said, "Get lost old man! You're ruining business!"

"Sure would like to get some action tonight," said the old man.

"You've got to be kidding! You're too old! You're all finished."

"What did you say?" asked the old man.

"You heard me - you're all finished."

"Oh," replied the old man, "how much do I owe you?"

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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Wed Nov 06, 2002, 09:08pm
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Larksy,Larksy,Larksy.....

Where in the Officials Manual does it says New Guy gets to dump on respected and revered,but youth-impaired,veteran official(who still has all his hair)?

What next-Viagra jokes?

Lah me,younger generation...grumble,grumble,grumble.

PS-svelte?
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old Wed Nov 06, 2002, 09:32pm
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jurassic Referee
Larksy,Larksy,Larksy.....

Where in the Officials Manual does it says New Guy gets to dump on respected and revered,but youth-impaired,veteran official(who still has all his hair)?

What next-Viagra jokes?

Lah me,younger generation...grumble,grumble,grumble.

PS-svelte?
Hair impaired? Har. Har. Har. Oh wait, here's something else:

A crate load of Viagra was stolen from a distribution depot - Police are looking for hardened criminals.

It has been revealed that criminals who steal Viagra will face stiff sentencing

There was the man who got his Viagra tablet stuck in his throat and suffered from a stiff neck

There's a new beverage on the market today. It is called
Viagraccino - one cup and you are up all night

A man and his wife went to the drugstore to pick up his
prescription. Seeing the $10 per pill price, the man was astonished - but his wife had a different opinion - "Oh, $40 a year ain't too bad".

A report out today states that gardeners will not need to stake tomato plants any longer. Just one Viagra tablet in their water, and they stand up straight and firm.

What's the difference between Niagara and Viagra? - Niagara Falls.

I'm just working too hard at this.
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old Wed Nov 06, 2002, 10:02pm
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Should have known better!

Sigh!

The comedy team of Slappy and Larks.
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Thu Nov 07, 2002, 08:26am
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jurassic Referee
Larksy,Larksy,Larksy.....

Where in the Officials Manual does it says New Guy gets to dump on respected and revered,but youth-impaired,veteran official(who still has all his hair)?

What next-Viagra jokes?

Lah me,younger generation...grumble,grumble,grumble.

PS-svelte?
Officials Manual.....Prerequisites for Good Officiating...Page 11....# 35...THE GENERAL CONDUCT AND CHARACTER of an official should be such as to inspire respect yada yada yada.....

See...you being a "Senior" Veteran Official, I am just showing you that I recognize your "seniority"......errr somethin like that.

Oh, you asked about Svelte....Ok....so I looked it up to be sure.....

svelte Pronunciation Key (svlt)
Slender or graceful in figure or outline; slim.

Oh yeah, thats me!! 6' 4" 285 defensive lineman wannabe with stripes and a whistle.....sounds like Svelte to me!!

Larks
VIT
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Thu Nov 07, 2002, 09:36am
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A crate load of Viagra was stolen from a distribution depot - Police are looking for hardened criminals.



What's the difference between Niagara and Viagra? - Niagara Falls.

I'm just working too hard at this.


Dan, that was a very, um, stimulating discussion...
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old Thu Nov 07, 2002, 10:55am
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Larks--seriously--the new line that you used at the bottom of your post-"silence can't be quoted"-is excellent advice for officials to use during games.Especially when dealing with an upset coach.Am I correct that you used it for a reason like that?
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Old Thu Nov 07, 2002, 11:23am
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jurassic Referee
Larks--seriously--the new line that you used at the bottom of your post-"silence can't be quoted"-is excellent advice for officials to use during games.Especially when dealing with an upset coach.Am I correct that you used it for a reason like that?
The guy I am helping out with the new officials class dropped that quote on me. He's a crusty ole ref too but I will say this....he knows his shtuff. I look at him as a mentor and I have learned a ton from him both last year and this. My advice to newer guys....find a mentor.

Larks
VIT
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old Thu Nov 07, 2002, 11:30am
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I thought it was something like that.Good advice to pass along to all of us!

How can someone that is a svelte 6'22' & 731# be so subtle?
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