That's the crux of our disagreement.

The fact is, like it or not, much of what we do has a ripple effect, intended or not. If we come off as unsportsmanlike, it just plain doesn't look good.

JRut nails it. People will draw conclusions, sometimes just to suit them. However, nearly everyone will infer that something is wrong if an official has an aversion to handshakes. That's not hyperbole, nor hysteria (talk about overstatements). That's reality, and it's far from meaningless.

I don't think anyone has suggested not shaking hands (or fist bumping) if the players come over. It would, however, be better if they didn't come over.

Fixed it for you.
My overstatement was inentional (thus making it hyperbole); but I admit it was an overstatement. You're drawing way too much.

I don't think even Rookie Dude would walk away from a player trying to shake hands or fist bump. Here's your post to which I took exception:

Fair enough. That's what we do around here.
Generic and unobjectionable opinion.
I really hope you're kidding here, so I'll refrain from saying it's stupid. If you're not, and you get laughs with it, well, there's not much more for me to say.

Here I disagree. Telling their kids to shake our hands only reinforces a pleasantry; that's it. The best way a coach can stress respect for the officials is to display it during the game; not insist on a meaningless formality before the game.

This is hyperbole (it's what I was referring to before); unless you really think RD is going to damage player/official relations by his anonymous statements on an officiating board. In that case, I can't help you.

...in something YOU say, not what someone else says.

For example, if I said, "that quarter took forever," that would be an example of hyperbole, because I said it. You can't apply it to what someone else says. ("Misrepresentation" could apply.) I meant what I said, therefore no hyperbole.

Are you saying we should be generally cynical and suspect of any player/coach that chooses to be nice? While some people indeed need an individual read on their level of trust, overall, I think we're far better off accepting handshakes/fist bumps as an act of respect, than to waste time wondering what their true motivation is (if any).

Someone once said here that part of our roles is that of a salesman. Salesmen need good interpersonal skills to thrive. They can help you get out of the inevitable damaging situations that will arise.

Just because you mean it doesn't mean it's not hyperbole.

It doesn't make me think they are currying favor. I think it causes the fans to think they are currying favor. It makes me think they are wasting time on a mostly meaningless gesture.

Wow, where to start?

First of all, you never fix someone's quote. That's simply bad form. You leave it alone, with the exception of "[sic]" for misspellings or grammatical errors, and put your thoughts after it.

And more importantly, much of what we do indeed DOES have a ripple effect. That's no opinion. That's a fact, and I'm stunned you can't see that.

I won't disagree with the latter sentence, but think about the former. What do you think players learn from this mandated pleasantry? RESPECT, sir! And it carries over into the game.

If a player shakes your hand, and you're keeping an attitude of "you're only doing this, kid, because your coach told you to," then you're often dismissing the very respect the coach is trying to teach. If you have knowledge that a coach/player is being disingenuous, then fine, but until then, lighten up a little and enjoy the respect we sometimes claim others lack for us.

Not at all. I'm far more concerned about our actions and attitudes on the floor. That's where it counts.

Check your private messages

lw

Ever since I had one captain who had removed his mouthguard to shake hands, I have not ever had a problem with the fist bump.

Actually, that falls under the very definition of hyperbole. If you find comments to be disagreeable, that's something else entirely.

Okay, I see your point with the players intent vs. the fans' inference, but I know coaches that insist on this respectful act, and trust me, it isn't meaningless. The long-term effects of a handshake may not always be apparent, but they exist, and go a long way toward collective respect.

Sounds like you were a military volunteer whereby everyone else took a step backwards.

So you're admitting the part I quoted was, indeed, hyperbole?

It was your stated opinion that expressing (in this forum) a dislike for this formality is somehow going to make us seem "more distant and unapproachable." In that context, your "ripple effect" metaphor is silly opinion.

You don't teach respect to kids through ceremony. They see that crap for what it is. That's my opinion.

No, I'm dismissing a freaking ceremony. I'll judge their respect by how they act during the game. If there's a verified correlation between teams who perform this formality and how they act towards officials during the game, I haven't seen it.

"High horse" is indeed an effective methaphor, but it's often used by those who don't want to meet a standard.

Yes, that's my opinion, but that's not what I said. I said "much of what we do has a ripple effect." That's a fact.

So shaking hands is now a crappy move? Wow, you're cynical, and that's my opinion.

Certainly, one who shakes my hand one minute is not going to get away with cursing me out the next, but that's very rare, and I will remember the handshake, because the kids made a effort -- mandated or otherwise -- to be sportsmanlike. That's something that needs to be respected, not scrutinized.

How many here can remember even one handshake with an official as a player?

I cannot. But then again this was not the practice when I lived. I do remember when people will not shake my hand in and out of officiating. It tells me something about their relationship with me or maybe what they think of me. And yes it is usually not a positive interaction, which is why I continue to say, if you purposely ignore someone trying to give you a handshake that will be remembered by some longer than you think.

Peace