Most Hurtful Thing You've Ever Heard From a Coach
 

Go.

That was a bad call.

The implication being of course that I would make a bad call and that of course is laughable. :)

"Call it both ways."

Nepotism backfires
 

That all 3 of my sons are better than me:eek::eek:

I cannot think of a single thing any coach that has said to me that is hurtful.

Peace

Hurtful? Nothing...and I can't think of anything that someone on the court/bench/stands can say that would be "hurtful".

1) I don't care what "they" call me as long as "they" don't call me late for dinner.

2) The funniest thing I have had a coach say to me: This is somewhat of a long story but it is worth the time. Ben Williams, the now retired boys' varsity coach at Toledo Scott H.S., was very successful as a coach at Scott H.S. during the 1980's and 1990's. And during that time period and even now, an official cannot be assigned a game in the Toledo City League unless he is recommended by at least one coach, and that said official can be blackballed by at least one coach too. I know, I know, the inmates are running the asylum, but that is how it is in the OhioHSAA, at least in NW Ohio. During the Fall of 1993, I had a six month contract engineering position in Columbus, Ohio, and Thomas Worthington H.S. had a 16 team scrimmage over Thanksgiving Weekend that November and I stayed in town to officiate the scrimmage while Bonnie and Mark, Jr., came down to Columbus and stayed with me for the weekend. Scott H.S. was one of the teams playing in the scrimmage and I had them for two quarters. Williams' teams played an up tempo offense and a swarming man-to-man full court defense. That day his team was always a day late and a dollar short and were committing a lot of stupid fouls. Williams, instead of getting mad at his players, yelled at me: "You are from Toledo, you can't make those calls against us." Now you know why I have only officiated three varsity basketball games (all of them girls' games) in the TCL during the years (1984-2003) before our sons' entered jr. H.S. It is because of stupid nonsense from coaches like Ben Williams.

MTD, Sr.

Oh no sir>!!> You are sleeping on the COUCH tonite! ( I was hoping the "U" would be turned into an "A" those darn pesky vowels.)

Nothing really. Not related to the game I call, I just would never be 'hurt' by a coach's comments.

Now an assigner could be a different story!

We are always told that coaching in high school is an extension of the classroom so nothing hurtful would ever be said....I have to stop typing...I am laughing too hard.

Keep in mind that we are professionals hired to perform a task that requires a specific skill set that not many people have...

when you look at officiating from this perspective, you'll realize that coaches comments should not be taken personally...when officials get emotionally involved in the game, our objectivity decreases and, as a result, our call accuracy declines as well...

if the coach tries to get personal...just wack 'em...and move on....

All true...and nice advice. But we also know that sometimes something a coach says can get under our skin. And those are the stories the OP'er is asking for.

My story: coach is mad that his team is losing big, and tells me "You are a piece of sh!t."

I whacked and tossed him.

A couple nights later, same coach walks into another gym to scout the game, sees me, walks up to me and wants to shake my hand! I just looked at him, and his comment was "Oh, I see you are going to take it personally."

My response was to ask him to have a seat in the stands.

Have worked several more of his games since then. No problems, but there is also no smiling or light bantering at the pre-game handshake.

Did it hurt my feelings? No...but I have zero respect for that coach.

I tend to judge people by how they treat people beneath them. ("Beneath" in their view, not mine.) It's one of the reasons I have so little respect for that coach with Dickie V sticking out of his arse. To many people, the officials on the court are the puppy they get to kick at the end of the day; but they get to do it on the job if they want.

As Rocky notes, whether they hurt my feelings isn't the issue. But I don't tend to respect people who show contempt for me.

I also do not equate saying something hurtful as getting under my skin. For one it would be nearly impossible for a coach to say something hurtful when they do not know anything about me personally. I tend to keep my personal life away from my professional. And certainly a coach would not know those things anyway. Even a coach getting under my skin would be rare as I realized a long time ago what my job was and realized where I am. If they get personal they will not be there very long and I will get the "last laugh" if you will. I also learned long time ago I will be around much longer than most coaches. So why worry about what some guy says on one night and that person might not last the rest of the game, let alone seasons to come?

Peace

I am kind of a smart a$$, I am sure as i advance at the Varsity level I will make quite a few appearances on the scratch list. Not because of officiating just because by nature I always got a smart remark.

Back to the topic:
Coach: "How long you been officiating", mind you middle of the season.
Me: "First game", followed by "How long you been coaching".
Coach walks away shaking head, hey atleast it got him quiet the rest of the game.

There's an awfully good chance that you'll make more than a few appearances on your assignor's scratch list too.

One day you'll learn that silence can't be quoted.

I am working on it, really am, but some of these coaches love crossing that line.

I'm used to hearing this question a bit doing varsity games since I'm young. I can't say I'd use this particular approach with a head coach but to each their own.

Coach crosses the line, get him to stop the behavior. Warn then whack. Everything else you either answer or ignore.

I'd be more inclined to pull a number out of my arse, "It's my 627th game, coach." But only in rec/aau/ymca level ball; not in high school.

hmm interesting.

I got a nice story. My first year working HS ball I was working a JV-Girls game and it went into OT. Made a call he didn't like (charge on his best player), she fouled out, he got a T from me.

After the game (which he lost) he said "i am never working in his gym again"

kinda hurt....until I saw him the next week when I came back and worked a BV game... I guess it wasn't his gym after all :rolleyes:

Well in this particular instance, riding partner all game. Just put a quick end to it with a sly remark.

Brings me up to my first varsity game this past tuesday.
Winning coach, overall upset, acting like a fool, pretty much belligerent with everyone. Crying for fouls, everything you can think of.

So i call a foul on his girl, for pushing.
Coach: "Where has that foul been all game, call a foul, call something, call a foul"
Me:"Coach, I just did call a foul"
Coach: Upset voice "On who"
Me:"On your player, white no. 10"
I was being serious, im sure it sounded sarcastic, but he was pissed.

At the end of the game though, he comes over says good job followed by "Half the stuff I say i dont mean, just always talking"

If they cross your personal line, warn 'em and then "t" 'em if they persist. But do not give them any ammunition to use against you. When you wise-azz a coach, it licenses him to do the exact same thing back to you. And if you don't like his reponse, what can you do? "T" him up for doing what you just did?

Make the comments in your mind. And try not to grin while doing so.

Yes sir.
*Not grinning*

You bring up a valid point though, I appreciate all you guys. I would love to call with every single one of u's, not sure I could afford the constant traveling.

Seriously....
*Not grinning*

Part of my job is answering any complaints that come into our association. If I get a complaint from a coach about an unsporting "T" someone nailed him with, I usually simply tell that coach that he better know his audience if he wants to make remarks to officials. That works both ways though. Fair's fair. If I get a complaint about an official making wise-azz remarks from that same coach, what's your recommendation for a response?

Let your whistle define your officiating capabilities, not your mouth.

As usual, jmo fwiw.

I was actually being serious, that info did not go through my thought process with regards to what if the coach would been sly at that point, cause you cant t him up nor would i at that point.

SMH at having to look up FWIW.

No, but it can be misquoted and taken out of context. :D

Oh yeah???

Well...

" "

Misquote that, ya little trouble-maker!

But maybe that's just me...

As you wish.

:p

Actually, receiving a "Shutup" comment around here is a good thing. Means you have actually made some good point or other that we can't argue about anymore. Now...

Shutup.:p

It can also be meant as a literal request.

Shut up.



Just saying....

"You're the worst official I've ever had in a game."

"So...this is your first game?"

See how much better that is?

I had a coach once tell me to start reading The Official Forum.

Ouch

At least he didn't tell you to post there.

You guys are the best crew we've seen this year (said in the first game of the season). :eek:

He also said that I was too "Old School". :eek:

Optional Question, What's The Ambient Temperature ???
 

You're correct, but, it can be posted on You Tube:

Yahoo! Video Detail for Cricket Chirping

When I first started school ball (read, non-rec), I was doing one of my first HS games for my new association at a local private school. After the game, my P and I were doing our post-game and the V officials were listening and providing feedback.

All of a sudden the door bursts open and the H (losing) Coach comes in and starts berating us - worst officials ever, yada yada. Totally going off. The seasoned V Officials ushered him out.

As a new official at the time I was devastated. Really hurt. Can I do this? Is this the way it's going to be? Do I have what it takes? Why go through this? etc.

I reported it to my Association - the Coach (new young guy in one of his first games) was disciplined and we got an apology from the school AD.

Thankfully, I had a few senior officials help me through it.

That was several years and several hundred games ago......and I stuck it out. But, it hurt and I'm not ashamed to admit it. It was part of my maturing process and is now just another situation for my personal kit-bag.

Just Don't Say It Three Times In A Row ...
 

Ouch ! That must have hurt to the quick.

And some day, if not already, you'll/'ve pay/ed it forward, and be the veteran official.

Thanks Juggler.....
 

I do a decent amount of teaching and training of the youth officials here locally. I also like to try to encourage the newer officials in our HS Association. How much good it does, I'm not sure, I'll let others be the judge of that.

I know I still have a ways to go yet to get to where I want to be. I still make that one glaring (to me anyhow) oops every game - a call out of my area, a call not on my line, a quick whistle I need to be more patient on, etc.

But, at the start of my 5th yr, it looks like I pretty much have a VG schedule for the yr, am working with allot of great guys, am pretty confident, and really like what I do.

Last night I worked two GJV games (just my 2nd and 3rd games ever).

Early in the first game I had made a couple of foul calls against a team and the coach was getting a little worked up. Then there was a double-dribble call (which was the right call and one that the coach couldn't possibly have seen from the other side of the floor--the player, during a dribble, batted the ball with both hands to keep it from a defender). I blew my whistle, we went the other way.

Soon after, during a live ball, she yells out, "Can I talk to you, Mr. Referee," in an extremely condescending way. I was taken aback and got flustered. I ignored it and we didn't really say anything to one another for the rest of the game. But she did get to me, as I was hesitant for the rest of the first half.

It stung--just because that's my worry so early in my career, that I'm just a total joke out there. Can't do any better than my best effort, though.

I wouldn't really classify things coaches say as "hurtful". Several years back two good teams, I was working my *** off and had a real smart *** coach say the ol' 'you'll neber work here again' comment. I guess it was hurtful because I was hustling my rear end off.

Worst Thing: " Why don't you let the other official make the calls for the rest of the game and you just chase after the ball"

Would have been the last thing I heard from him, and he would have been on his way to the locker room shortly afterward.

One told me I was a bad dancer...

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Worst thing a coach said
 

My first Varsity game. I am center on a throw in, EASY call, home girl pulls the jersey of her opponent. Right in front of Home bench. "Tweet" HOLD>

Coach goes ballistic. "You can't call that at THIS Level"

I report the hold.

Next time out I go to my partners and ask " don't you guys call holding up here"

of course they did, coach was working me.

he got me good. Had me thinking....

Thanks to everyone here, I am now in my 11th year.

Coach: "Why did I get a "T"?
Me: "Because you were on the court and stomping your foot like a petulant child"
Coach: "Would YOU have called that T"?
Me: "If I say no will you still make me dinner?"

I lost a date once
 

Worked through college reffing IMs, had a date with a very attractive lady set up on Friday night,
Reffed her sorority in a basketball game Thursday night, and they lost by 1 in overtime with a (in hindsight questionable) charge call against them on their last possession of regulation.
Friday she canceled, and never heard from her again.

Thank goodness because I then married the most beautiful woman in the world whose only downfall is she never played basketball...

You didn't really use this word with a coach, did you? This happened in your mind, right? :eek:

My guess: the coach was his wife, regarding a game he didn't actually work.

It is all about the delivery. :)

Peace

He called his WIFE a petulant child? Has he not read the manual? :eek:

That's why he didn't get dinner.

I'm sure that's not all he didn't get.

The coach would certainly (at best) be sitting and watching some free throws.

I was wondering whether that's a euphemism. :)

Nah, not a euphemism.

I'm sure he really didn't get any at all. :)

"I thought the combination of vertical strips and wearing black were supposed to have a slimming effect?

Was that for calling your wife a petulant child?

Ouch!
 

Saturday night, BV, as the new Trail I am administering the throw in, a crash happens out of my sight and the Center doesn't get the call. The new Lead gets it late from the front court and the HC (who is completely bald) makes a snide comment about my use of hair gel. That one hurt - what does he know about haircare products???

Tell him you've been looking for a good one, and ask him if he has any recommendations.

Wash your own clothes!

As for the hair gel:
You like it? Gel might have helped with your comb over before you started to go bald!

Not hurtful but one I got from a real jack *** this weekend.

FIBA rules; Team A has possesion, double foul is called in the paint so penalties cancel and A gets the ball back on the base line.

Coach of team B asks what the call is and why AP is not used for the throw in. I explain to Coach B all is good walking out on the floor I was approximately midcourt when I see Coach from team A walking on the floor yelling at me Whats the call, repeatedly. I stop him ask him e step back to the sideline then tell him quickly. "Double foul, penalties cancel, A possesion end line" and I walk away to get play started.
He yells across the floor, "You know you talk to him so I expect the same. Respect is a 2 way street on the court."
Unbelieveable, then he wouldn't let it go at half comes over and starts complaining about fouls etc. asked him to stop complaining about every call and ended up giving him a T.
Great game, Good times.

Remember that scene in Indiana Jones when the bad guy starts with all the fancy swordplay and Indy just pulls out his revolver? It's like that sometimes.

I read that Harrison Ford inserted that bit, which was not in the script. They had filmed the various fight sequences, and Ford asked Steven Spielberg, "Hey, why am I fighting with this [expletive] whip when I have a gun right here?"

Spielberg said, "Hm. Good point. Shoot the next guy."

Now that's film directing!

It's one of the classic moments in action film history.

It's highly unusual, in fact. It's exceedingly rare prior to that moment in action film history that killing a man gets a huge laugh. Cheers, yes, but not a laugh.

I'd Forgotten That Scene ...
 

http://www.youtube.com/v/4DzcOCyHDqc...s=1&autoplay=1

When is the next Indiana Jones movie ???

They All Die From An Infection A Few Days Later ...
 

No. You got it all wrong. He "winged" him. Just a flesh wound. Just like the Lone Ranger, who almost always just shoots the gun out of the bad guy's hand, never killed a man.

http://www.youtube.com/v/hxIuIxqo2So...s=1&autoplay=1

Yeah - sometimes I can't decide between giving a coach a technical or just smacking him upside the head with a frying pan. Sometimes the frying pan wins. :p

Guess I will be putting "Frying Pan" on my Christmas list.

Also, in regards to the Indy scene, he actually had dysentary pretty bad which is what prompted him to just shoot the guy so he could visit his "trailer". Still great scene!

Teflon ???
 

Gee? I didn't see this listed a few weeks ago when we were discussing what to pack in our bags.

I'm Adding that one to Billy's list !

Maybe follow it with, "Mine too!"

Better that than, "You think my partner is better than me?"

Yes, I know I'm dredging up an old thread, but it's late and I'm sitting in my wife's hospital room after her surgery, what gives...

I wouldn't say there's anything a coach has ever said that has been hurtful, but there is one thing I've heard several times that has stuck in my craw for several days. Working JV games and having a coach or fan say to me "That's why you're not a varsity ref." for some reason that one always just stings.

Luckily, tomorrow night I officially get to call myself a varsity ref and, in a way, get to tell all those coaches and fans to stick it.

I turn and Whack him after that. And if you want to be unprofessional you can always say, "The same goes for you coaching JV I guess"

Congratulations to you and best wishes to your wife.


Tomorrow:

"You're feeling okay now, right honey? You know I have a game tonight.":D

this endless string of posts has brightened my day

Haha very true. Good thing is my wife is very supportive of my reffing. Plus her dad is here taking care of the kids so that helps too!

That kind of comment just gets a smile from me. They know not what they are saying. As deecee said, the same could be said about them.

In football, we work *everything*. On Monday I'm a JV official, Tuesday a middle school official, Thursday a freshman official. Difference between me and those coaches is that on Friday night I'm a varsity crew chief and they might be assistant coaches, maybe.

Last season I filled in at the end of a sophomore boys game (played before a varsity game) when a JV official went down with a hammy injury. Play was all over the place, coaches were all over the place (mainly because of lack of experience and a lot of excitement), and all I could think to myself was that I'm glad I don't have to deal with that on a regular basis. :D In many cases, the JV game is harder to work.

Often times subvarsity coaches are varsity assistants as well, just like some of us work subvarsity and varsity games. Not excusing anything anyone has said (As I coach football and got a UC flag this year...not my proudest moment), but it does go both ways.

+1

People are going to continue to say such things if they're not accountable. Besides, they don't know what other games you work. It only stings if you allow it to do so.

I agree. But when you are working varsity games they do sometimes know what you work as when teams scout each other they recognize or don't recognize officials. Also when you work certain tournaments they see who is working the game before or after and know who has some experience at that level. That is probably why in an earlier post the coach made that claim. Also they can probably find out more about us than we know. Remember coaching are some of the most paranoid professions on the planet. They think of all kinds of situations and scenarios and likely come up in our games and affects what they say to us on the court.

Peace

Last year was my first officiating VBoys games. Worked at a school where I had worked numerous JV games in previous years. Home coach had a couple calls that went against him and yells "That's why you're JV ref!" after I had a closely guarded call he didn't like. Calmly whacked and moved on. The interesting thing was I got an email from that coach about three months later (long after basketball season was over) apologizing for his conduct. At first, I wasn't even sure what he was talking about.

I don't care if it's my first varsity game. If a coach throws that line out I'm t'ing him up and setting the tone. treat me with respect and ill talk to coaches and players as often as I am capable of. Try walking over me and you will find the rug pulled very fast.

There is no justification or excuses for the coaches actions during a game. Each game, I treat, as a contest in a vacuum. I don't hold previous positive or negative actions by a coach for or against them.

I did not say it was OK. I think it is not surprising a coach would not only think of what level the official is they are dealing with, but even say something sometime. How you handle it is up to you. But I do know that if every time someone says something to you and you T them, you will have a lot of Ts for a lot of comments. We all have our own line.

Peace

Worst thing I ever heard from a coach came after a sophomore game. At half time, that same coach had perhaps said the nicest thing I've heard from a coach.

It was a quick lesson on how much weight coach comments should be given.