First, get yourself a Bobby Knight dartboard.
Second, purchase a referee starter kit (earplugs and Valium).
Third, make an audio tape of 500 people yelling at the top of their lungs such clever phrases as "YOU SUCK REF", "THAT'S A REACH", "OVER THE BACK", "IF YOU HAD ONE MORE EYE YOU'D BE A CYCLOPS", "HOW MUCH IS THE HOME TEAM PAYING YOU", "GETTIMOFFIM", "HE'S ALLOVERIM", "THAT'S THE WORST CALL IN HISTORY", "HOW COULD YOU SEE THAT FROM THERE", "THAT'S NOT YOUR CALL" and "DID YOU PARENTS HAVE ANY CHILDREN THAT LIVED". Then lock yourself in a closet for two hours and play the tape at full volume.
If you still want to be a ref, repeat step three.
If you don't have the brains and guts to learn the rules and make the tough calls, become a coach.
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