Here's another one. I was working a holiday boys HS rec tourney. One team had a kid who was vastly superior to all the others. With about two minutes to go in the game, he had over 30 points and his team was way ahead. His coach decided to take him out so he would get recognized by the parents and fans for his game. As he came out to a standing ovation, of course he was hot and sweaty, so he grabbed his jersey to pull it out of his shorts as he walked toward the bench. Unfortunately, he also grabbed the waistband of his shorts at the same time and he pulled them both up really fast and hard. He let out a "YOUCH" that was about three octaves higher than a soprano!

It brought out lots of laughs - not by him, of course. He was OK, but I bet he'll be more careful in the future.

That's no fun. What did Maurice do to you?

Speaking of tesitcle fouls...

I had a JV boys tournament game a few months ago. A1 leaped to save a ball from going out of bounds, which he did, but the throw was a bulls-eye laser right to B2's crotch. The poor kid goes down in a heap, and the ball slowly rolls out of bounds (and I'm talking about the basketball), so not only does Team B get some unnecessary pain, Team A gets the ball back.

I beckon Team B's coach, who's trying to hide a smile, and he escorts the young lad to the bench. I check on B2 ten minutes later, and says he'll be okay.

"It could be worse," I reply. "(The varsity coach) could be here, and you'd never hear the end of it!" The kid agreed.

A week later, I saw that varsity coach, and asked him if had heard about that play in question.

"Heard about it? His dad taped the game, and watches it ten times a day!"

JVB game a few yrs ago. H has a male cheerleader. His entire appearance and demeanor indicate he is gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) and he is doing nothing to hide it.

He is very demonstrative, enthusiastic, and really into the game. Midway thru the 4th qtr one of the H players throws a baseball pass along the near sideline that misses his intended team mate and hits the cheerleader right square in the groin!

He let out a very non-masculine, high pitched - oooh! The entire crowd gasped. He doubles over and "walks" toward the side of the court in obvious discomfort. The crowd was absolutely stunned. Some smiling, some wincing, but no one missed it! My partner and I "bit our whistles" in order to stop from laughing......

The cheerleader recovered after a few minutes......but, was a little shall we say "less enthusiastic" about the rest of the game.

This is the second year I've had a boys HS team in spring league named the "Cooties". They even have that on their jerseys. Fortunately, they don't have a mascot. :eek:

Now They Do ...
 

This will ONLY be interesting for the followers of the Big 10 in the early 90's.
Playing in a tournament a certain player drove down the lane into, literally, the open arms of Steve Scheffler (Center/ Purdue) As the player left his feet for the lay up, Mr Scheffler wrapped him up in a bear hug around the waist. SO there is this unknown player, about 18" off the ground, being held there as he hung in place by Mr Scheffler. Play stops, and both players look at the official and say "Well?" Mr Scheffler said "He isnt big enough to knock me down" The unknown player, was very scared the Mr Scheffler would squeeze tightly. The official just had a deer in headlights look. No call, count the basket. On the next possession Mr Scheffler said, "Next time, I'll just foul you!" I can neither confirm nor deny that the player never drove the lane after that.:eek:

It's not that funny, but I had a partner come to a game wearing black shoes with white shoelaces. I guess it could have been worse.

YouTube - Dodie Stevens - Tan Shoes and Pink Shoelaces (Live)

JV B, small schools, 4th quarter of a blowout, so the benches have been emptied and we have some of the non-players in the game.

Team B scores with about 10 seconds left and Team A takes a time out so that the kids who are usually at the end of the bench have a chance for a buzzer beater.

Team A sets up their out of bounds play and they run it to perfection to get the ball to this kid on the wing (keep in mind they ran their OOB play in their own backcourt). The kid takes two awkward dribbles and goes to shoot at Team B's basket. Out of nowhere, this kid who is not a basketball player, but is athletic, swats the ball into the 3rd row of the bleachers.

As trail, I blow the whistle, while laughing, and point in a very obvious manner towards team A's basket. At this point, everyone get the hint that they were all backwards. I can honestly say, I don't think any of the ten players knew they were going the wrong way.

Yup. We had a great childhood before video games.

I thought that story seemed oddly familiar...

From 2007.... http://forum.officiating.com/basketb...tml#post422801

A few words changed but essentially the very same tale. :rolleyes:

How embarrassing. :o

Here's one from about 10 years ago. Called a kid for carrying the ball on his first three possessions. They weren't even close calls, because his violations were really blatant. Coach requests and is granted a timeout after the third call. He comes over to me and says, "That's just the way he dribbles. If you're going to call that, he'll get called for it every time he has the ball!"

My reply was "Then I guess that's what's going to happen coach. Maybe you should do something about it." The coach just looked at me and shrugged.

The kid got the ball about 10 more times during the game, dribbled about six of those times and got called for a carry all six. Every time my partner or I made the call, the coach just shook his head.

I always wondered what happened in all the games that kid played in before this one.

Surprised the opposing coach didn't instruct his team to give it to that kid so they could set up out of bounds plays under their basket.

Not A Kneeslapper, But Still Funny ...
 

Varsity game this past season at a small suburban/rural school that I've worked at dozens of times in the past twenty-nine years. The table in this gym is attached to the bleachers. Also, there is a folding door that divides the gym, which means that the bleachers are also divided, and for the past twenty-eight years the table has been on the bleachers to the left of the dividing folding door. Since I'm the umpire, I really don't notice the table during warmups. The game begins and I have the first whistle, a foul, and I hustle over to the reporting area and start signaling to the table, until I notice that there is no table where I'm looking and signaling. I look to my right and the veteran crew at the table are all laughing at me. Sure enough they decided, after almost thirty years, to move the table to the bleachers to the right of the dividing folding door. From that point on, every time I report a foul to the table, the crew waves their hands like they're trying to get my attention. During a time out I spoke to the crew. They told me that the same thing had been happening all season long, and that I hadn't been the first official to report to a nonexistent table and crew.