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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 12:51pm
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Fun and Frolic
I enjoy reffing the youngest players from time to time. They are often so sincere, so intent, and so clueless.
Yesterday, 5th grade girls, dead ball for my partner to adminster. I'm trail, tableside. I hear the nearest coach say, "Maggie, you're in." Maggie jumps up and runs straight onto the floor. Coach says, "No, no, check in at the table". But Maggie doesn't hear her because she's saying hi to me (she knows me). I say, "You have to check in at the table". She goes back to the table, talks to the table person for a moment, and then squats down in front of the table. I say, "Sub, you're in" and wave her in, while table person also tells her to go on in. Meantime, of course, whoever should be leaving has no clue, so Maggie's not getting the hint. But she finally jumps up from the X and starts to run in. Then, right in front of me, she stops, looks up at me, and says, "Now?" I only nod because I hear her parents laughing from the stands, and I don't trust myself to do differently. They're so cute at that age!
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It's not who you know, it's whom you know. 
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 01:13pm
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It's funny when the kiddos stare directly at you (with that deer in the headlights kind of look) while you are tweeting and creating a wind storm with your beckoning motion - and they remain motionless as a statue.
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 01:16pm
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Also, this game. The other coach yelling at her girls who are setting up for a zone defense. "Girls, hands up!" (nothing happens) "Hand up, girls!" (nothing happens) "Ashley, hands up!" (nothing happens) "Katie, Kenzie, put your hands up!" (nothing happens). I caught her eye, and we both broke down laughing. Just too cute.
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It's not who you know, it's whom you know.
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 02:01pm
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I had a sixth grade girls game a few weeks ago and almost the same thing happened. There was a player at the table and my partner waved her in while yelling "SUB" at least five times. Finally, after yelling "SUB" again, he then yelled, "Hey - I'm not ordering a sandwich here". Even I cracked up.
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Yom HaShoah
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 02:49pm
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Same game. Girls "match up" after every TO, designating who will guard whom. They do this standing in two rows at the division line. We're waiting for them to finish, and I hear one girl say to an opponent, "I like those shoelaces, where did you get them?" I whistle and yell, "White Ball!! Let's GO!!"
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It's not who you know, it's whom you know.
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 03:00pm
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When the younger kids come out and match up, the boys usually yell "I've got 12" or "I've got 5", etc. Sometimes I turn to them and say, "You've got 12 what? Toes?" It usually gets a smile, but sometimes I'll get a kid who answers back, very seriously, "No. I only have 10."
It just doesn't get any more fun than the "little kids" games.
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Yom HaShoah
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 03:14pm
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Sprinkles are for winners.
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 03:32pm
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This reminds me of something my third grade son does in his games when subbing in. For instance, if he subs in after a free throw, he'll run to the kid he's guarding and look him in the eye and gently touch him in the arm with his pointer finger while saying, "I'm going to be guarding you.". He's usually met with an indifferent shrug. lol. The wife and I cut up every time.
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 03:41pm
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 03:54pm
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BTW - one of the best ones I've heard came in a 6th grade boys game. A sub was coming in and he asked the kid he was replacing, "Who are you guarding?" The kid thought for a moment and replied, "Well, we're playing zone - so I guess - everybody". What made it so funny is that he was serious.
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Yom HaShoah
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 03:54pm
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Years ago, 9-10 girls, ball out-of-bounds. I say "Red!" and point in the appropriate direction. Nobody moves, they all just stare. I try again: "Red!" and this time I point at the spot for the player to take it out. A little girl in a white shirt quickly steps to the spot. I say again, "Red!" and look at her with raised eyebrows. She keeps standing there, holding her hands out expectantly.
I try one more time, "Red!" Apparently she thought that I was either color blind or not too bright, because she grabbed the front of her own shirt and stretched it out in my direction (so I could see it better?) and said, "I'm white."
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I swear, Gus, you'd argue with a possum. It'd be easier than arguing with you, Woodrow. Lonesome Dove
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 03:57pm
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When my son was a 12 year old point guard in a rec league, the kid guarding him ran up and announced "I'm in your face." My son put the ball on the floor and blew right by him while saying, "Not for long."
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I swear, Gus, you'd argue with a possum. It'd be easier than arguing with you, Woodrow. Lonesome Dove
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 04:00pm
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Tue Mar 02, 2010, 04:00pm
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I've posted this before, but it seems to be appropriate to this thread. When kids come out to start a new quarter, they almost always ask, "Whose ball?" I look down at the ball and reply, "Uh, some kid named Wilson (or Spaulding, or Nike, etc.)". The younger boys usually get the joke, but the younger girls almost never do.
If they ask, "Is it white ball?" I'll look at it and say, "No, it's kind of brownish-orange". This usually get smiles even from the girls.
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Yom HaShoah
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