I am interested in formulating a committee for the wife's of officials and I need some guidance with this project.The purpose of this committee would be for the wife's of veteran officials to share there expierence with the wife's of newer officials.For example: What to expect during the basketball season? This committee can also act as a support group for the wife' of officials. Is there anyone who may have some suggestions or information to pass along to me? I would just be involved with help formulating the group and that's that!

Not trying to be ugly but I think the word you're looking for is wives, not wife's.

And, no, we don't have such a group in our organization.

"can someone please organize a group of women to tell my wife how to deal with my officiating schedule?" ;)

....maybe your wife should organize it.

Remember:

1. Family comes first, job comes second
2. Maintain balance
3. Never, ever choose a game over bdays and anniversaries!


Also...spell check is a wonderful thing

Spelling!
 

Wow. it's nice to know that a couple of my fellow officials were so kind as to point out to me that I used the word "wife's" instead of"wives." And one even suggested to use spell check! Thanks for responding to the post though, I guess you guys don't miss anything during a game.

If you wanted to create a support group, how about one for all spouses, not just the wives.

At this time, I have yet to see a support group of any type for the spouses. It seems that some of the long time officials have had very understanding spouses. Wives and husbands.

As it was mentioned before, family comes first.

Love2,
Well, now....
My wife isn't really that interested in my playtime, although she enjoys all the sports I work.
Her comments are generally of this nature:
<LI>I thought you had a game.
<LI>What time is your game?
<LI>Is your uniform ready?
<li>Your game shoes are shinier than your dress shoes.
<LI>Who are you working with tonight?
<li>Have fun.
<li>Oh, you're early.
<LI><b><i>How did it go?</b></i>

That's about the cumulative total of her concern.
Of the above comments, I usually get only one or two of them per game. The only one with any regularity is the last. If she's home when I leave, I almost always get a "Have fun."

The updated schedule is always on the fridge where kids drawings used to be, so she'll have an idea of where I am, ...if she wonders at all.

mick

If you do it, make it for spouses and not just wives... and maybe girlfriends/boyfriends too.

But as Mick said, there really isn't much to it. This isn't like someone is getting divorced or anyone died. "Honey, I have a game at 7:00 tonight. I'll be going there straight from work and then home by 9:00. You want me to stop and get anything on the way home? By the way, my schedule is on the fridge if you forget what I just said." :-)

Reffing is like any other activity that married people do. If it's done in moderation and has the support of the spouse, no problem. If it's done too much, get the lawyer's phone number handy.

Z

Here's a suggestion
 

Here something you might want to try. I make a calendar with one of the Print Shop programs. On it, I post all scrimmages, games, clinics, etc. so that she knows exactly where'll be, on what nights, and at what time. Saves a lot of headaches.

Re: Here's a suggestion
 

I have somehting similar to this, we use a dry erase calendar and I put all my meetings, games, etc up there.

And, taking the sig. other away after the season helps too..

Re: Spelling!
 

I email my schedule to my husband so he can enter it into his palm pilot.

Thganks, secondyear, for thinking of us women officials and our spouses. However, I don't want my husband meeting you-alls wives... And especially not during the season ( nor June!)...

Are There Any Boards Or Committee's For The Wives Of Officials?
 

The purpose of this group would be to have veteran officials wives/husbands pass along information to the newer officials wives/husbands. I don't think newer officials wives/husbands have a clue about what a officials life is really like, and may need to be orientated by someone who knows what to expect. I think making there officiating game schedule available to there wives/husbands is a great idea, that I may start doing in my home. Rainmaker, How come you don't want you're husband to interact with the wives of officials in you're area?

Re: Are There Any Boards Or Committee's For The Wives Of Officials?
 

I was sort of joking, and forgot th smilie.

It's just that I'm gone so much during the season, I don't want him spending time with any lonely females. But I guess that's not really a very funny joke!

Re: Re: Are There Any Boards Or Committee's For The Wives Of Officials?
 

Juulie- there's at least one guy we know in the local association you probably wouldn't want him around either.

PS - it's that guy I once mentioned to you that looked like a female official when I saw him on TV and you said you weren't surprised.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

How freaking bored are we?

I know it is August, but is this the best we can come up with? Training new spouses on what the season is like?

Unless you're Dharma and Greg, your reffing schedule should not be a surprise to any new spouse.

I make sure that I write both my work schedule and my game schedule on the calander. That way my wife can know when to expect to see me and if anything comes up I call. I also put the schedule on a franklin planner program that I got with my wifes Palm Pilot. She has her schedule and can look up mine there. My schedule is up so many places that it is almost(not quite) public domain.

I do the same thing. I give it to my wife, my boss, and put it on my palm pilot and have an extra copy in the car, just in case. Invariably, my wife will ask me, "Do you have any games this week?"

I am not talking about schedules!
 

I am talking about a support group or committee which may be lead by the wife or husband of a veteran official. This would benefit the newer officials wives or husbands who may not have a clue as to what it's like to be married to an official!

In my few years of officiating, I have yet to see any type of support group for spouses. Officating groups in my area aren't as organized as the fire department or the military where there are support groups for spouses. Maybe for your situation it might be best to find a few friends who are officials and see if their wives (or spouses) would be interested in getting together to talk with your wife.

Or to be perfectly blunt about the situation, maybe your wife should find something she is interested in to fill the time while you're officiating.

All in all, it comes down to communication. Are you officiating too much? Are you not home enough? Does she understand what it will take to get you to the level that you want to achieve? Or are you doing it for the $?

From what I have seen, it takes a very supportive spouse to achieve a high level of success in whatever you pursue. From the officials point of view, you also have to have your priorities in line. If officiating (or your job, etc.) comes before your family, then your family life will suffer.

Just a few thoughts.

Re: Re: Re: Are There Any Boards Or Committee's For The Wives Of Officials?
 

I'm not worried about my husband in that situation. But I will definitely keep him in mind with regard to my son. He is quite well-off, though, and works a pretty high sechdule. While we're on the subject, do you know how's his health?

Actually, I thought you were going to mention someone else who I've worked with several times. I wonder who else... Nah, I don't really care.



[Edited by rainmaker on Aug 7th, 2002 at 10:59 AM]

It's not my wife who has the problem in her life with being married to an official!
 

I did not come up with this idea because my wife has a problem in her life with being married to an official. I just heard some newer officials talking about how there spouses have no idea of what an official has to go through to move up the ladder. So I thought there might be a need for a support group or committee to deal with the issues facicing a newer officials nusband or wife.

A support group is probably a good idea. But in my case, my wife doesn't want anything to do with sports minded people. She probably wouldn't go unless she knew that there were other wives that didn't care about sports. All my wife wants to know is what I am doing, when I am doing it and why I am doing it. When I tell her the night is worth $60 bucks and I will come home after taking a shower, she is very happy.

Also by letting rookies know how much money they will probably spend to get started when they attend there first meeting and how many games and what kind of pay they can expect the first year, will go a long way toward making wives happy. When they come home from the second meeting and find out they have to buy a jacket also, then come home from the third and find out about a clinic they have to pay for, then come home from the forth and find out that the cheep paints they just bought won't work, then the wives start to get frustrated.

Re: It's not my wife who has the problem in her life with being married to an official!
 

I have a great idea for you. Make sure your association has a banquet at the end of the year and invite wives and girlfriends and parents to the function. This way they will meet the people you work with or meet other officials counterparts at this function. Make sure you spend some time telling the wives or girlfriends or husbands how thankful you are for their support. Other than that, I have never heard of your idea before. I guess you need to as an official express you goals and your mission when you officiate. I personally am not married, but I have had this discussion with my current girlfriend and the goal associated with officiating. I have always been supported and bring them along when I can. I think your best bet is to involve them as much as you can in your officiating so they understand the commitment you have made and understand the pit falls. I think it is no different than any other job you have. I personally treat this as a business and those close to me understand that too.

I think the rest is up to you to inform them. Other than that, I do not know what kind of support a group can do for your wife or anyone's spouse.

Peace