Dan, how long have you been reffing? It took me YEARS to learn that simple lesson. You are absolutely right.

Chuck

I'm thinking of taking the class & getting started this
fall. ;)

Thanks for the compliment, means a lot coming from you....

This is a gem given to me by an experienced official when I started:

Coach, I hear you.

This tells the coach two things:

1. I hear and acknowledge what you are telling me.
2. I don't want to hear any more.

Andy-
How does telling the coach your hear him....tell him that you have heard enough?
I have told a coach that I have heard him, and in know way was I telling him that I had heard enough.

AK ref SE

larks, i don't see anything wrong with what you said, or did. I think some people might be looking for some thing to criticize.

How you say it IS the most important part. That includes the timing. Here's how I've said what Larks said and made it work. This was a female ref at a girls game, I'm not sure it would work for a male ref at a girls game, or a female ref at a boys game. I had one player who was questioning every call, arguing about everything, pointing out the little violations on the otehr team. I waited until the gym was just the right amount of quiet and the ball was dead, and her comment was particularly noticeable. After she was done, I said, "If you want, I'll trade you shirts and you can ref, but you're coach will not be happy to have ME on his team!!" Just a little tongue in cheek. Everyone laughs, and no more complaints. I've used it a couple of times since, and it works pretty well, as long as it's a sort of joke and the player doesn't feel belittled.