Attacked at a Game
 

I officiated a tournament Girls Varsity game in North Zulch, Texas. It involved a game between North Zulch, and a team they should have easily defeated, (since they obviously wanted to advance in their own tournament). I think the root of the problem that I encountered was the result of a girl’s varsity game that I officiated in North Zulch last year. After North Zulch lost a close game, the female coach approached me and began explaining how my partner and I stole the game from them, and continued her tantrum with her arms flinging, etc. In the tournament game I am referring to today, everything seemed to be fine in the first half because North Zulch girls had a lead. From my standpoint the head coach only questioned three violations I called on a young lady on her team. In each case I yelled “get out of the lane” several times and she would just not move, so I had no choice but to call three second violations. In the third quarter after the opposing team took the lead, the coach for North Zulch began showing a growing antagonism toward me. She at one point yelled across court why I called a palming violation on one of her girls when her hand was not under the ball. I told her that the ball did not have to placed on the bottom of the ball to have a violation in this case. My co-official, and I had called several traveling, double dribbles, and palming violations on this particular young lady. Early in the fourth quarter with the opponent leading by about twelve points, I was handing the ball to a player for a throw in when the coach yelled something, so I looked over at her, and she yelled back very loudly “I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU”! During the next time out I asked my co-official to change sides with me because I had spent the majority of the third quarter, and part of the fourth quarter along the bleachers that the North Zulch fans were occupying, and explained to him that the fans were making some really nasty remarks to me (I heard a fan call me a dumb b*****d, and several other names that of course upset me). He moved over for me, then with about 1:20 left in the game, and North Zulch down by ten points I handed the ball to an opposing player for a throw in, and started my count. At that time I noticed a North Zulch player holding a hand full of jersey, so I called a holding violation. The North Zulch coach yelled very loudly across the court where everyone could hear her “YOU WILL NEVER OFFICATE HERE AGAIN”! (she said it twice). After the game I walked to the refs changing room, and noticed two officials that I have a tremendous amount of respect for standing outside the dressing room door, so I said my hellos. I then turned toward the front of the gym to leave when the North Zulch coach grabbed the left arm of my jacket and told me to follow her because she wanted to talk to me. When I turned to follow her one of the officials tugged my other arm and told me not to do that. At that point in a very nasty voice she told me that I would NEVER officiate in North Zulch again, did I understand! I then lost my composure, and I think I said something really unprofessional like,( I would not lower myself to officiate a bunch of white trash in this town again). The referee then pulled my arm, so that I was moving toward the front door of the gym. She followed but I really cannot remember exactly what she, and I said, but after the few steps it took to reach the front of the gym, the coach’s son punched me I think in the right top of my shoulder or neck, but I cannot remember. This was not a kid; he looked to be in his late twenty’s. At that time I tried my best to get to him for that cheap shot, but both officials grabbed me and prevented me from getting to him. I struggled to reach him, but I finally came to my senses and gave up. By this time I was outside, and the female coach was threatening to call the police etc. so one of the officials walked me to my car, and said if I needed to contact he or the other official, they would be happy to give their input the way they viewed the situation. I just feel this coach could have just contacted the chapter if she did not like my officiating instead of handling the situation the way she did. She knew that nothing positive was going to happen by confronting me, other than an unpleasant situation. Even though my co-official called a large number of violations against North Zulch, the coach nor fans really blamed him because he resides in that general community, and it seemed like allot of people knew him at that game. I called this game the way I saw it, and really if North Zulch had scored on just a fifth of the open shots they had, the game would have been a blow out. With recent events at this town, i.e., a brawl between players, and fans last year during in a game with a team in the general vicinity, which was caused by racial slurs aimed at the black players on the opposing team, and a statement by my co-official about a biracial referee in our association that was called a n…….over and over again, and how sick he felt about it, I wonder why I am officiating. This is my third year, and I have been told that I have a good chance of getting playoff games this year. I stay in excellent shape, read every article I can find regarding rules, and mechanics, because I want to be as competent as possible, because I know the kids, fans, and coaches expect it. I do not officiate for the money; it’s about the love of the game, and watching the kids play. I have turned in a complaint to the Texas Association of Sports Officials; however I have allot of soul searching to do because I have noticed that fans are getting more abusive. Before I forget I wanted to mention how thankful I am for all of the officials that contribute to this forum. I have received a wealth of knowledge, so keep up the good work, and I will continue to visit the web site even if I decide to move on.
I wish you all a very Blessed and Safe Holiday!

Sincerely,
Mark

First up, some paragraph breaks would make this a little easier to read. All the text running together is making my eyes water.

Secondly, did you administer any technicals? I can't believe she was still around at the end of this game.

Thirdly, going with a coach who grabs you by the arm, especially after a game like that, is asking for trouble.

Just a few things...take em' or leave em'.

* Show strength in your games...through demeanor, mechanics, rules knowledge etc.

* Don't "YELL" at anyone...just say what needs to be said and move on.

* Don't get emotional...stay calm and cool in the face of calamity.

* Get thicker skin when dealing with fans...don't have "rabbit ears".

* Take care of business...if a coach/player needs it...whack em'.

* Stay away from volatile coaches after the game...nothing good can happen.

Those are just a few items to think about...

Get off the court after the game, and into the locker room. Don't give her this chance.
This is a T, especially given her growing antagonism towards you. She's trying to put you in your place and you let her. These fans should have been removed, especially if they called you profane names. This is a flagrant T, my friend. Coach is threatening you. Even if you didn't call the previous T, this is flagrant and coach is done. Listen to the other official next time. She should not have access to you after the game.

As for the assault, you should file charges. This man needs to go to jail for assaulting an official. Does Texas have aggravated penalties for assault on an official? I was considering it on the coach for grabbing your arm, but the punch is a no-brainer.

Finally, where the hell was her AD?

So this "young" official sends in a situation which was obviously quite upsetting to him, and the best you can do is criticize his typing skills??? Get a life there in Kansas, would you.:mad:

And Ranchman, self-evaluation is always a good thing. But I can pretty much guarantee you that EVERY official goes through something like this at least once in their career. Whether it escalates to this level or not, there is always a game where the fans are horrible, the coach blames you in the local media, some player or parent files some kind of "complaint" against you, etc., etc. We have all gone through it. Quitting officiating would not be a good idea - the best advice I can give is to learn from this, talk to those other officials who were there and witnessed it, file charges against the guy who punched you, turn back any games you get from this school, and then get on with your officiating career. It's one game - how many good, fun games have you had? Bet it's more than one! Don't let the one bad one ruin all the other good experiences. You have to get back up in that saddle again.

1) Deal with the coach in the game. Personally sounds like you did not take care of her early. There are several ways of doing this.... Tell the coach to stop and then whack. Tell the coach and then tell a captain the coach is getting close to the line and help take care of it and then whack...Dont put up with it and whack...

2) If fans are yelling obscenities, why not get the game administration to address it. You would not let the yelling like that go on in a classroom would you?

3) Sounds like some mechanics issues to me... How can you referee an most of the time along one side line. Between switching on fouls, rotations, balls OOB, violations there has to be alot more moving that what you describe...

4) She yells twice you'll never officiate here again? and you dont run her? Where is your partner? If you did not run her and I was your partner I run her.

5) Why not just go into the locker room? The locker room is yours and she's not going to follow-you in. (one of the biggest arguments for changing at the gym)

6) Tell the coach to get out of your face and go to the locker room. In UT we have a no contact rule after the game. Violation is suspension of the coach.

7) Coach grabs my arm, the first thing I would tell her is to get her hands off me or she is going to jail.

7) You went after somone who hit you? You had witnesses on your side. Criminal Charges and Civil lawsuits will take care of that, but most of this would have been avoided if you went to the locker room and waited 15 minutes...

8) Where was your partner in all this?

9) why turn in a report to TASO? do they in turn file it with State/League Officials? If not the complaint should have gone to them...


Dont take this the wrong way but sounds like you need to work on some game mangement skills and (if you did not get the earlier point) learning how to go to the locker room after the game.

One of my pet peeves is an official (especially varsity) who comes to the game dressed, and runs out of the game as soon as it is done. (unless the school has no locker room... I have been to very few schools that dont offer the officials some sort of room...

And BTW did I ask where your partner was at?

RANCHMAN - First & foremost, I feel your pain! I too have been attacked AFTER a team lost a game to the better team. I know the frustration level you must be at right about now. You had nothing to do with the outcome, but it's easier for some people to place the blame on officials as opposed to looking at how many lay-ups & FTs they missed, how many TOs they committed, how lousy their defense & play calling was, etc, etc.

In addition to everything that's been said, I'd like to add 2 other words of advice:

1. From this day forward PLEASE understand that the court is yours! You have been entrusted in a position of authority. YOU & YOUR teammates are in charge of any/every thing that happens on the court... before, during & after the contest.
I don't know your experience level, but your description of events sounds as if you allowed much too much talking & not enough coaching. Sometimes a good T allows the coach to regain their focus and coach their team to a victory. Take it or leave it...

2. Try to forgive them ASAP!! Don't let this eat at you & turn you sour to the avocation. The sooner you let this go (by all means, press charges & pursue justice) and make a choice to use this as a learning experience, the better.
Take it or leave it...


My experience has changed my life & I'm a better person since going through it.


Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. -Charles Swindoll

Simply put - be in control of the game without controlling the game.

Whack.

Stop the game and get game management escort this person outta there.

Flagrant Whack.

I'd remove my arm immediately and say "Have a nice night."

Press charges.

I stopped reading when I read the word 'racial' and the n word. Don't go back there. Encourage others not to go too. Maybe they'll get the idea.

This was important to this young official. I wanted to read his story but it was too difficult on a computer screen without the paragraph breaks.

Proper communication is important. Paragraph breaks are part of that.

Rita

I disagree. I am not a fan of political correctness, but this is just wrong. The Texas High School Athletic Association (not the officials Association) needs to know the situation there so that sanctions can be made to correct an absolutely heinous situation. TASO cannot be expected to orchestrate a boycott. Thats just fantasy. Specific and serious action needs to be taken against that school community. If the bylaws of the THSAA is anything like the OHSAA here in Ohio, they are the only ones with the muscle to affect change there.

Forget the mistakes made by a young and inexperienced official, they do not mitigate the culpability of the athletic administration of an entire school that allows this type of behavior. The school should be suspended from all interscholastic activity until a proactive and corrective action is instituted. I am truly disturbed to read this.

Take care of business
 

You got what you gave.............
It is what it is...................

You let her control your crew and didn't do anything about it.
You gave her the chance and she abused it, and you did nothing about it.
Coaches are to coach, you are to officiate. When coaches officiate, you should have whacked her.:confused:

No one here said the crew in any way mitigated the coach's culpability here.

That said, she put the crew in their place, and they let her. She walked all over them, and by not doing anything early, she was essentially encouraged to escalate her behavior. She acted exactly like you'd expect a toddler to act when she throws a tantrum and the parents simply acquiesce.

That said, I have no idea how the organizational structure works in Texas, but I'd be filing complaints and charges and reports with everyone.

Everyone has already told you how you could of possibly handled things in game and post game...only thing I'd add, is to make sure you report this incident to UIL. The following link will take you to an incident report page. UIL Incident Report page It's important for the state to be made aware of this situation. Second, I'd make sure to file the appropriate charges. Not only was this inappropriate on the coaches part, you have witnesses to back you up.

I'm not disputing that at all. Many of the problems at the game as described in the OP were created by the officials mishandling the situation. I am just appalled at the disfuntional situation at that school district that trancends any culpability by the officials.

It wasn't that difficult to read, for crying out loud. Try reading 7th grade research reports for a couple of days - those are hard to read!

He wrote it well. It's just difficult to read on a computer when there aren't paragraphs. I tried "underlining" going line by line to make it easier to follow.

Rita

Ranchman,

Wow. What a nightmare. :(

I sincerely want to offer my support. We've all had a really bad game or three and questioned whether we want to continue officiating. I certainly have. I know all too well the emotional roller coaster you're on right now.

Though it doesn't seem like it today, this experience was a gift from the officiating gods. It highlighted some very glaring weaknesses that have gone unaddressed during your meteoric rise. Whether this experience ultimately becomes a stumbling block or a stepping stone to your career depends entirely upon your answer to one straightforward question: What will you do about these weaknesses?

"Most people, sometime in their lives, stumble across truth. Most jump up, brush themselves off, and hurry on about their business as if nothing had happened." -- Winston Churchill

Long time reader, first time posting. I share this as a police officer of ten years that has been fortunate to officiate as well for six years.

There is an all too common set of circumstances in the posts that I have been reading and news articles pertaining to attacks (verbal and physical) on officials. I give this small tidbit of "officiating tactically" advice that I try to use each game.

As officials, we do a great job of officiating the game as we see it. We anticipate (within reason) the action on the court and with increasing experience, we can normally "expect" how the action will go. However, after the final whistle we digress into lemmings that often do not show the level headed calm that we show during four quarters of basketball. While assaults on the court before and during a game are thankfully a rare occurrence, assaults after the game are unfortunately becoming more and more common. That being said, here are a couple of things to think about that I try to remember after I have tucked my whistle in my shirt and headed towards the showers.

*Hustle. Try as hard as they might, a coach, fan, player, or parent can not provide a valid reason why there should ever be a discussion with an official after a game. So why even allow that individual to approach you. You hustle during the game, hustle after it as well. Get into whatever broom closet the school gives you and get out of sight. In the cases that I have unfortunately investigated in a law enforcement role, the common factor is emotion. After a cooling off period, even a screaming parent will lose their steam. So will we. Besides, can you think of a way to make an angry person look like a bigger moron than to allow them to stand and yell at a closed door?

*Patience. Short of a loved one going into labor, I really can't think of a reason why anyone needs to set a NASCAR record for changing and getting out of the building. For any number of reasons, take the time after the game to let the crowd and any would be "top story" candidates to thin and forget why they were even upset in the first place. Thankfully, fans have a very short attention span which is proved whenever you call something great their way (cheers) but then call it the exact same way 80 feet away (boos).

*Hindsight. If you know that the potential for bodily injury is there in any official vs angry fan WWE melee past incident, why commit the same mistakes and/or oversights others before you have made? If Bubba wants to "tune you up" for calling fouls on his his little prince, why even allow ourselves to be put into that situation?

And lastly -
*Position. We know that our heads have to be on a swivel the whole game but put on blinders as we run off the floor. If all else fails, do not turn your head on whatever aggressor you are faced with. Screaming banshees are inherently cowards and will jump at the first opportunity to "hit and run" we give them. If you can't get away, give yourself a chance and keep an eye on the problem child and or parent.

I apologize for the length but I am very much committed to making sure that no other fellow official is the lead story on the nightly news for getting attacked. In my time as a police officer I have had the opportunity to work in several rural counties where, simply by my profession, I was not liked. This was always compounded by the fact that the guy that just got out of the state police car is also officiating the most important game in the history of basketball (as we all know they always are). Ranchman made some admitted mistakes but I say that they are mistakes he (and us) will not soon forget. But the best thing to come out of this is the fact that with the exception of a little sting physically and to his pride, he went home in the same condition as when he arrived.

And in both of my professions, that is always a win and something that will never be sacrificed.

Cory.

A quick google reveals the coach is also the AD. The state association should be aware and should take action. While yes, the official probably should have controlled her earlier, publically threatening an official either physically or economically deserves sanctions, with a game suspension for the coach the minimum and given her position as AD, the schoool ought to be puton probation in all sports for a spell.

What exactly is wrong?

I never said that TASO should orchestrate a boycott. In my local area, there is a wreck league that many people have said that they will no longer work. But there has been no official stance from our assigning group that the group as a whole is boycotting. Instead, a large number of officials from the top half of our association have just said, "I'm not available" for those games. And this is not fantasy - it is real life, and it works!

You're confusing a an association-wide boycott with a bunch of officials saying that they're unavailable for certain games, often individually even before they "talk to each other".

Are you saying that all of this school's sports should be halted because of the basketball coach?

I don't agree with all sports being punished. Yes the woman (IIRC) is teh AD, but other sports likely have a different coach, who can filter this peson's influence to the children and other game participants.

I think that dealing with the basketball coach and AD first is the more correct way to go.

This situation accentuates the problems that newer officials have in dealing with coaches.

When to talk...how much do you say....how much do you take before a t is given????

Since i am new(second year), I have found that my best games have been the ones I was assigned to work with a quality ref, one that has good skills in this area.

I had a game on Friday BJV, in which the winning coach was quite vocal and questions all calls. I have a loud voice. I called a push off on one of his guys and he yelled.. "what did you call?". I thought I was just talking but I said "He pushed him off??? and moved my arm.

Coach says " YOu don't have to yell at me" So, I walked over with a smile and said.. "sorry coach I'm not yelling, I just get excited and talk loud" Seemed to calm him down.

Later after he kept yelling "3 seconds", for about the 20th time. I said " Coach do you want me to just stand there and look for 3 seconds or do you want me to manage all of the game activities and fouls?"

What are your thoughts on this??

I gotta agree. And this is coming from a UCSD graduate, who also tutors kids who have difficulty writing essays. One thing I've learned from my journalism experience, is that readers love paragraphs. This is why when you read newspaper and magazine articles, you will see plenty of paragraph breaks.

The other problem, stems from the structural layout of these forums. I also own a VBulletin forum, but I have a different setup, so that the membership profile and info align to the left (therxforum.com), as a column, as opposed to this place's setup, where it aligns on top of the posts. This can be extremely problematic, as the lines of words end up stretching the entire width of the monitor, and it can cause the reader to lose their place in the paragraph. This layout is a huge no-no in webdesign, which I've also studied extensively. :D

I understand your frustration, but the second you made a racial remark, you lost my sympathy.

I would have hit her with a T and then another for each yell across the court. Anytime someone begins their rant with the word "you", then I better like every word I hear out of their mouth. So she is gone. After the game...get off the court. A nod to the table....I dont care if anyone says good bye or not. And then the other thing is....you cant quote silence. Coach wants to yell down the hall at you...fine. Coach wants to yell at you on the court....fine. Dont respond. Because however right you are....a coach will say you are wrong. Its all perception. And, for the matter of you not working a particular school again...Oh well. There are hundreds of other games for you to officiate. If you dont go to Podunk HS in Podunk USA thats fine.

The only other thing is that whenever a partner or senior official takes your arm and wants you to back off...take the urging. He is seeing it through cleaner lenses than you are...and in the long run is trying to avoid ugliness down the road. Report the incident immediately and get ready for your next game.

And, while Im thinking of it...an assigner knows of a difficult previous situation and sends you back. I dont know about that one.

One good thing that comes out of this is you'll never have to ref at North Gulch again. I think everyone here has gone through situations similar, maybe not as amped up as yours, and learned from them, I know I have. If you can remain calm and take care of business, you will have done your job and in retrospect, all involved will look back and recognize your professionalism in handling the situation.

Officiating has helped me grow as a person. In confrontations of any nature, I have a quick tongue. I've disciplined myself through officiating and it has served me well. Just my two cents.

Good information
 

I apologize for not entering my post in a more easy to

read format. I was just rambling with emotion, and did

not pay attention to my presentation, so I agree it was

difficult to "keep my eyes from watering" also!

I think that it is an excellent idea to dress at the school,

and appreciate the advise. I just had no idea how

important this was because I never found that topic in

the rule book. I can understand this is not a subject that

is on the top of the agenda while getting advise from more

experienced officials, but maybe it should be.

Some small rural counties in Texas are very "tight knit",

therefore if an "outsider" were to file charges against one

of the "local folk", justice would never be served, so filing

charges is out of the question.

I was advised by my chapter to file a complaint with

TASO. The form to complete looks exactly the same as

the one provided by the UIL, so I have been under the

impression that these two organizations work togeather.

This community seems to be a throw back in history,

so if I offended any readers with the "racist attitude",

remarks that I gained knowledge of, from individuals who

had first hand knowledge, again I apologize.

A few more experienced officals than I, seem to be more

comfortable staying on one side of the court, so game

game management is a difficult task during these

circumstances.

In hind-site I should have called a T on the coach, but

they were in their new stadium, it was their tournament,

and my partner with ten years experience obviously did

not see a problem. I really like this guy, and I called him

when I was driving home. He was eating with his

daughters in the hospitality room, and he apologized for

what happened, but I told him that I did not expect an

apology from him for the action of others.

I never try to acknoledge the crowd, so I probably

would have had a difficult time trying to figure out who

was cursing me in a packed gym.

Finally, I do appreciate all the input, and I will try to

do a better job with the knowledge I have gained. Thank

you so much for the support, and again I wish you all a

very Safe and Wonderful Holiday!

I think here I might go up to him and say I had a foul and this is your warning, no more commenting on the officiating. I wouldn't apologize, he yelled first.

If you warned him it is time for a T. Also, I believe when you talk to a coach short statements are the best.

It depends on where you are. Around here, it's drilled into us; show up looking professional, do not show up in your officiating uniform.

It's your choice, but I disagree. Find out if it's considered a felony in Texas to assault an official. File the charges with the highest authority possible. If it goes nowhere, it goes nowhere.

This is exactly why the mechanics are for us to move around and switch at the given opportunities.

Your partner was right to apologize; he left you hanging out there. He should have backed you up. The first time coach yelled at you and you didn't deal with it, I would have talked to you about it if I was your partner. When she threatened that you'd never work there again, I would have given you about as long as it took her to finish repeating it to make the call, and if you didn't, I would have called a Flagrant Technical on her. A regular T isn't enough. This is a one and done T.
Fair enough, but my rule of thumb is that if in spite of your best efforts the comments are bothering you and affecting your focus; it needs to be addressed.

This is the best way to approach it; a learning experience.

I'm with Rita...I saw that it was a big 50 line block of text and I moved on. It was not worth my time to read a post composed so poorly. As she said, communication is not just the words but is the format....and this is about as bad a format as can be had short of deliberate malformatting.

I like that layout even less. Unless the post is long, it makes you scroll through lots of empty space between each post....the bio takes up 20-30 lines in many forums and that is paired with posts that are usually 2-5 lines. If the paragraphs are too wide, you can alway change the size of the window and the text will rearrange to fit.

Tough read, no doubt. But, readable.

Sorry to hear about your trials and tribulations. I, too, call in Texas, and I have heard stories about this particular school, and if memory serves me correctly, they are currently on probation for an incident that occurred last season during a basketball game (fans and players in a big brawl).

As for the situation . . .

Coach yells at me the first time, WHACK. When she yells across the floor (or anywhere else for that matter) that "you will never call/officiate here again," and it is "SEE YA!" WHACK! Do not ever let a coach say that to you without a consequence. EVER! (Emphasis added!). As soon as the game is over, you call your assignor or chapter president and let them know exactly what happened. Fill out the TASO/UIL Incident Report and let them handle the rest.

As for talking to a coach, fan, parent, player, after the game . . . don't do it. NOTHING good will come of it.

I also agree with an earlier poster (or two) . . . come to the game dressed professionally, then after the game allot time to shower and change back into your "regular" clothes before you leave. There likley won't be anyone waiting for you then.

Finally, hang in there. Don't let one idiot coach ruin your experience and take your joy. It's not worth it.

Good grief...

But it was worth your time to post about it? You have strange priorities. :rolleyes:

Nice fiasco!! I like it...:p

+1

Ranchman,
Forget about the english comments!

You said you are an official of three years your partner is of how many years?

I do not work in Texas durring the school season however I work a couple of AAU tourneys down there in the summer, and I do know that they take their BB seriously. Sometimes too seriously, however, as others have said those things that happened on the floor were under your control, and you AND your partner needed to deal with them in some manner, have a quick conversation with the coach or as most have said Whack her once Whack her twice! She would not have lasted in my game as you describe it.

Off the floor;
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, engage in any conversation with a coach or fan after a game, especially if you have had trouble with them in the past.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, let a coach touch you or try to direct you somewhere.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, open your mouth in anger at a coach or fan.

You need to report the assault, however since you opened your mouth there are problems, that might mitigate the assault.

You need to file a complaint with your assigning group, the state regulatory group and the conference the school is in, also encourage those present to either join your complaint or file their own.

for the most part you need to file this one away as a learning experience, review what happened on the floor and how you could have dealt with what happened more decisively and nipped the problems early on.

It seems from your post that there was about a 15 - 20 point swing in the score from second to fourth quarter. Maybe if coach spent more time woring about what the opponents were doing to beat her instaed of the calls being made she would have been in the game.


If you can contact the opposing school and get a game tape, make a copy and keep it use it as a training tool for your self - give the other one to someone in authority that can put it to good use.

Good luck and stay in touch there are a lot of people here who can help you.

Only difference I would add is that instead of you sticking her for her comments towards you, your partner should have. That way it doesn't look like it's all you. Of course this is not 100% for all situations, but in this situation where it was across the floor, it would be very easy for your partner to give the T. Just my opinion, take it for what you paid for it.

Roger

I had this situation (but reversed) a couple seasons ago. My partner is just taking it from a coach every trip down the floor (tableside). I couldn't take it anymore so I came from the endline opposite table to stick the coach.

Partner & coach has been my best buddies everytime we cross paths.

In general, I think an official should handle his own stuff. An example is the coach's first yell in the OP, "I wasn't talking to you!" That's a T if she's yelling it to me, but I probably won't get involved if she's talking to my partner and he chooses not to get involved. I might be more inclined to jump in if my partner is in his first two years at the level we're working.

OTOH, the threat gets my flagrant every time, regardless if it's to me or a partner.

I have to disagree here. If the comments are directed at me, I want to be the one who handles it. I appear weak if my partner has to come past me to take care of my business. Now if my partner won't take care of his business, and it's making US look bad, I will take care of it for him. But I would prefer for him to take care of it himself.

I agree with this as well as the post afterwords. I really don't see how you didn't whack that coach with a T. Normally I give them a warning then the second they start doing the same crap, bam! Don't take crap from the coaches...seriously, you may not want to seem like a hardass but you have to do your job and that's to call the game. And allowing that coach to yell at you like that is against the rules. So next time whack em/

As for the list above, I agree with it all. After the game, go straight to your dressing room and stay there. As for me, I am a student athletic director at my high school...yes, I am a junior...and what I do is I escort the referees to the room before/after/and during half time. No one touches them, period. And they normally stay about 20 min after the game anyway.

Then you make a sneaky move out to your car and go along with your day.

A lot of repeats, yea, but this is where ya gotta learn from!

Take care!

It all depends on the partner. Some will say, "I can take care of myself" and others will say, "Thanks for having my back." I've had both. Now I'm in a place where we do 2-person and have regular partner so we go with the "get my back and I'll get yours". Works well for us.

Roger

it doesnt appear to me that he was criticizing his typing skills... just that he might edit it to make it easier to read. it was a little hard for me to follow due to the length and the fact that there are no breaks. just my 2 cents

Yeah, it was hard to read. But it told a story that is pretty scary, adn that needs to be discussed, irrespective of whether you think the coach should have been whacked early and often or whether you think the official should have walked away when confronted.

Keep in mind that the OP was written while fresh in the official's mind and he no doubt was eager to get feedback from people who could understand what's it's like to be the loneliest person in the gym, even if they disagreed with aspects of how it was handled. So the fact that his words spilled out in a torrent is understandable and reflects the situation.

In this context, complaints about his formatting of the written post are out of line. Whack!

haha good one

A story will be heard by far more people if it is presented in a readable format. There may be many that never get past the first line due to the presentation...I didn't. How effective is the post if people close it on sight without knowing what was in it. If there is a story to tell, tell it...but make it accessible.