Responding to Coach Speak
 

for us young guys out there, can some of you veterans give us some good responses to some of the standard "coach speak" items. (i.e. "you've called x fouls on them and y on us", "call it both ways", etc.) i know sometimes it is best to just not respond at all, but i'd love to know some things i could say back when i need to to acknowledge that i heard the coach, but not make it worse. any "coach speak" you can think of and your general responses would be really appreciated.

First of all, remember that we dont answer statements, only questions. Plus, if he keeps asking you that same questions, then you will have to deal with that as well. Using quick phrases and responses will only get you in deep water. Treat the coach with respect and demand respect back as well and you will be okay. Just my 2 cents...

Go to the below link and start at the beginning to see some really good responses and info on this topic.

http://forum.officiating.com/basketb...w-coaches.html

another - "#8 travels everytime he touches the ball"

There are no one size fits all comments. You cannot mirror someone's personality, instinct or experience. If we give you just some canned comments, then you might mess it up if you do not use them in the right tone or at the right time it can be a disaster.

Peace

When I hear this, I normally warned the coach that he/she don't want to go there. However, if they insist on going there.

I ask them nicely two questions:

1. coach, are you saying we are incompetant?
2. coach, are you saying we are cheating?

because, I want to know exactly what this technical fouls is for.

DISCLAIMER: I use these on coaches who are buttholes.

Coach: "Blah, blah, blah."

Official: "Thank you, coach."

...
Coach: "Blah, blah, blah."

Official: "Thank you, coach."

...
Coach: "Blah, blah, blah."

Official: "Thank you, coach."

...
Coach: "Why do you keep saying, 'Thank you, coach'?"

Official: "Because they won't let me say, 'STFU, coach'!" :D

Do not address statements by a coach, there are the great stories of how Ref X got Coach Y with a particular zinger last week.
Well it didn't do the ref any good, because what he didn't tell you is the coach rode him just as or harder the rest of the game and he had to listen to the supervisor/assignor or AD after the game talk about an exagerated version of what was really said. So just don't do it, silence can't be misquoted.

"Is there a question in there coach?" and move on is about all I ever say.

In pre-game we address with captains and coaches that we will answer questions if asked in a respectful manner.

We are busy enough on the floor that we do not need to split our attention between the action and trading barbs with coaches. especially new guys just starting out. We are going to do one or both poorly. Better to concentrate on just one thing.

make your reputation as a great official not the the court jester.

Ummm....thats what I said!!!!

My all time favorite is still this one. When a coach says something absolutely ridiculous to you, the reply is, "Coach, I'd respond to that but I left my English-Gibberish dictionary at home." :D

Another is "Coach, there are only two people in this entire gym who don't care who wins - my partner & me. We only care about one thing - that at the end of regulation time, one team has at least one point more than the other." :D

And, there's always the old standby, "Sorry coach, we're not allowed to call it both ways. We can only call it one way - the right way." :D

OK, one more. "Coach, let's trade places. You come out here and call the game and I'll sit on the bench and act like an idiot." :D

yes what he said
 

I just put an explaination point on it!:o

http://www.runemasterstudios.com/gra...ages/whaat.gif

Is that a merging of exclamation and explanation?

Last time I heard that one I responded "Coach, that's not my fault."

He knew I was right. His team full-court presses from opening tip and he subs 5 players at a time to keep the pressure constant and his team launches the most 3-pointers in the league.

You answered yourself above in Red. :)

We don't necessarily want a response, we just wanna be heard. As people have said already, don't answer a statement.

Unless we give a LOT of statments and/or start making it personal.:D

Sometimes it is what it is...

FYI to coaches and parents: Foul counts are not supposed to be equal. 99.9% of the time, the team that fouls more will have more fouls called on them. Things like style of play, aggressiveness, zone/man all play into foul count. Just like layup counts are not supposed to be equal. The team that settles for more long range shots will usually take less layups. Things like style of play, aggressiveness, zone/man all play into layup count. If the refs artificially make the foul counts even to appease those who disregard factors that play into numerically uneven fouls, I would guess the refs would have to artificially make the layup counts even, as well as the 3-pointer count, travel count, etc...

**TWEET!!!** - ref: "Team A has made four 3-pointers this quarter, Team B only has 1. The last two layups will count as 3-points, and the next shot they miss will also count as 3-points regardless if it goes in or not. Just trying to keep it fair and even, calling it both ways. And after this quarter ends, Team A must start the next quarter with two turnovers on their first two possessions. Thank you."

If I Didn't Like His Humorous Posts So Much, I'd Kill Him ..
 

Sigh.

While we don't usually want to respond to statements, we do normally want to acknowledge them in some way. As was pointed out already, the coach wants to know that he's been heard. Otherwise his/her frustration level starts to build because he feels you are ignoring him/her.

Classic :D

In general you are right to ignore statements. Sometimes coaches won't let it go though. In these cases try something like "OK coach" or "I hear you, coach" as it may simply diffuse the situation.

Legitimate questions deserve an answer. Statements and stupid questions don't.

So how do we go about doing this? Just an "I hear you coach" or is there a "better" way?

Handling Coaches
 

If I know the coach I will respond with, " I don't think they are setting illegal screens" or "I'm not keeping track of team fouls coach", in a calm, respectful manner, letting him know I am acknowledging him. Most of the time, the coach just wants to know he has your attention, and usually is o.k. after that for the rest of the game. If I don't know the coach, I will usually go over at a break and ask him what his concern is and that I will watch for that concern. These little things usually pay off big for me the rest of the game. Maybe coaching for quite a few years before becoming an official, gives me an insight to their mindset :)

I don't have any real problems with coaches anymore, just inexperienced ones who don't take a hint well. Of course, it probably took me 10-15 years to get to this point :D

A coach saying this will get ignored until he repeats it 2-3 times loud enough for everyone to hear. Then I'll probably put myself in a position where I'm close enough to talk privately to him, let him know I heard him, and also let him know he can talk to us, but yelling across the floor can't happen.

But if it's just a statement made quietly to me, I'll probably not respond or just say something quietly like "I just call them when they happen" and get out of his kitchen.

Some of the coaches who are considered nightmares by many are no problem for me -- they're predictable and just want to be heard and only become nightmares when they are ignored on the court. Easy way to fix that is to look them in the eye and talk to them with confidence and with as little ego as possible.

How dare you spread this kind of propaganda ... and you a coach ...

becareful they may take away your membership card if you keep this up :p !!

Cubsfan,

I have not reffed much HS or college ball and this might be acceptable at those levels but the league I work in this would not be condoned, period! Always think "professional" when responding. One-liners get you nowhere! Short professional responses keep you out of the soup. Experience, sadly enough, is king in responding skills. If you would like you can PM me and I will email you a responding skills presentation from our league. It will aid you but not give you a "one size fits all" response.

As My Hair Gets More Gray, I Give Out Fewer Technical Fouls ...
 

Same thing for me. I've been doing this for twenty-seven years, and the number of technical fouls that I've had to give to coaches has decreased exponentially over that time period. I walk into the gym, they know me, they know that I'll hustle doing their game. They know that I will treat their game like it's the most important game being played anywhere that night. They know that I will try to communicate with them, if possible, as long as they're not distracting me. They know that if I screw up, that I will admit it, and apologize. If they have a good memory, they will also know that I will penalize unsporting conduct with a technical foul. Experience, and becoming known in your area, makes game management a lot easier. I didn't give a single technical foul to a varsity head coach last season, and only one the previous season. Now assistant coaches, subvarsity coaches, and players, that's a story for another time.

No, this response is great! Just nodding your head to coaches is not enough most times. After a while, they can think you are supplying them figurative lip service. By committing a verbal response that you have heard the coach it creates more geniuneness that you have actually heard him.