First game of the "season"
 

Had a fun time last night and even got off a decent one-liner on my first night back.

Men's rec league and a player went down in a scramble for a loose ball and scraped up his knee. He and his brother had been jawing at my partner and me the whole game.

I told him he had to sit out since he was bleeding. He tries to come back into the game after simply wiping it off with a paper towel. But his knee was scraped up and still bleeding. I tell him he can't be in the game until he either gets all the blood off his knee or puts a bandage on it.

He gets snarky with me because he doesn't want to leave the game and asks me in a sarcastic tone as I'm walking away if I have a band-aid.

I turn around and look at him like he's a weirdo and say "Look at my shirt. Do I look like a nurse to you?"

He couldn't help but laugh.

Ah, the things you can say in men's leagues....

:eek:
Don't take any crap off these has beens/never was'!
Sounds like there should've been a T or 2 issued by you or your partner in the first half.

Players do what officials allow them to do.

Exactly, you should have told the guy to STOP BLEEDING! Just don't allow him to bleed. Problem solved.

At the risk of being smacked upside the head......

I'm not a big fan of making smart remarks to pissed-off players, coaches or fans at any time, anywhere.

But that's just me.....

Depends on the atmosphere of Rec League you are officiating in. I've ref'd my share of Rec ball and there some leagues where you are better served by literally telling the ball players to "quit whining and play ball" or "I ref, you play, and that's end of this conversation".

Most times these guys acknowledge they are just whining and at the end of the game they shake your hand and thank you for coming out and working their game.

I agree, if they're obviously pissed. Dis-arming humor can be used to effect at times, but it must be used cautiously. I'd never use it on a player I didn't know relatively well, though. But if it's an adult league and I've dealt with this player regularly, I'd consider it.

Two words: Yup.

I issued one T the first game and a T in the first half of the game in question.

You're absolutely right... I was mainly adressing the comment:

Originally Posted by fiasco
He and his brother had been jawing at my partner and me the whole game.

No matter what animal I'm working, coaches/players will NOT be "jawing at me nor my partner" the whole game, especially wreck ball. 3 Ts & the crew goes home early, with pay.


Good for you! Without those in our back pocket a game could quickly turn into a fiasco :)

I'm just blowing smoke here, but maybe the reason people don't stick around here very long is that it seems like, no matter what the thread, there is always someone wanting to add their own little piece of criticism, even on a lighthearted thread such as this one.

Does it not strike anyone else as incredibly pretentious when someone posts a thread just to mention a funny comment and then gets backhandedly criticized for not handing out enough technical fouls?

Probably is just me, but I just thought I'd mention it in light of the other thread.

I have learned to enjoy the posts I want to and ignore the posts I don't want to enjoy. In this case, just ignore the one criticizing you and enjoy the others. It's not that big of a deal - the people who have "left" the forum just never learned to get past that.

You may think that your comment was lighthearted. The person that you made it to might disagree with you completely. If you want to run that risk...especially in a rec league...hey, so be it.

Good luck.

I guess this was directed towards me. I apologize as I don't want to be the cause of people leaving :rolleyes:

That being said, I just wonder anytime I see a member of the fraternity posting words:
- first game of the season
- jawing at me the whole game
- description of officials negative facial expressions
- back & forth verbal exchanges between player & official

Just wanted to know what was done about it. My bad, I'll let you manage your games your way without comments in the future.

Sucks for the official that works behind you & has to hear "last week the officials let us jaw at them throughout the whole game".

You handle yourself however you please. I'm just making the point that perhaps the reason some people find this board caustic is because they feel like they can't post anything without someone jumping down their throat with a "sounds like you should have...."

If you really just wanted to ask an innocent question about what was done about it, you would have. You chose instead to criticize.

Once again I apologize for voicing my opinion on this public forum.

In addition to camps/clinics/seminars, I utilize this forum as a learning tool. People get criticized in the camp setting all the time... they don't quit.
I don't see why people would quit coming here because of criticism. I'm not going to stop my growth & developement because of criticism & boy did I go through it when I first started posting here. After a while I learned that the criticism was well deserved & I became a better official because of it.

Wow. I'm not sure what really to take away from you equating quitting a basketball camp to quitting this forum.

But, to go with your analogy, I would quit a basketball camp and go find a new one if I found most of the instructors to be pretentious and condescending.

Reading IS fundamental!

They are both learning tools...

I think what you're not really grasping here, in addition to the fact that your tone and comments are incredibly condescending, is that the CRITICISM is not the problem. The way you COMMUNICATE that criticism is.

Actually, I guess that wouldn't be "in addition to..."

Well then maybe this forum or any forum is not for you. When you say things on this site, it is not much different than you saying it in a meeting or in the locker room. Someone might take exception to your comments and criticize them. And if you cannot handle the instruction from a camp, then you will not be able to take comments here. And this is just not me saying this; there is a certain reality to when you say things on a public place like this forum.

Peace

How are discerning tone from an internet post? Could one infer that your current tone is anger?

And there is a certain reality to people not wanting to be talked down to. I don't put up with it in the locker room, in a camp or on a message board.

I'm all for constructive criticism. But I don't put up with being talked down to.

Holy crap! I just went back and re-read what Ch1town wrote in his first post of this thread, and frankly, if that offended you, you need some thicker skin. You're capable of taking "jawing" "all game," but you can't handle an official wondering why you didn't stop the jawing?

You take verbal abuse on the court, but take exception to criticism (mild criticism, at that) on line?

Looks to me like Ch1town may have struck a chord or something.

You absolutely could.

And if you asked for clarification, I would likely tell you that I can understand why you might have had that reaction and reassure you that I was not trying to come across as angry but instead putting emphasis on the words criticism and communication and point out that next time maybe I should have put those words in bold instead of all caps.

No, I don't take verbal abuse on the court. As I stated before, I handed out two technical fouls last night. One to one of the brothers I mentioned.

I think the thing that surprises me the most is that nowhere in this thread or the other thread do I read anyone say anything to the effect of "You know what? Maybe I am the problem. Maybe I could improve my tone. Maybe we could all improve our tone."

Or maybe someone did and I missed it.

Fair enough, I guess we misunderstood what you meant when you wrote:

If you took care of it, how does he get to keep "jawing" at you all game? That's the part I don't really understand.

I think Jurassic said it once. He's the sensitive one.

I guess I regret my use of the term "jawing." Poor choice of words. In the first half of the first half, it was literal jawing. That's when the T came.

After that, it turned more into mutterings under the breath I couldn't quite hear, rolling of the eyes and such.

I dunno, I've never really been one to T someone up for rolling their eyes, so I let it go. It was happening every few plays for a good portion of the 2nd half, though.

Then, the blood thing happened. After that, we were fine.

So, yeah. Poor choice of words on my part.

If you feel you are being talked down to because people are giving their opinion that is something you have to deal with. I am not trying to keep you here, just trying to let you know that a place like this is not going to have everyone talk to you the way you want to. If that is a problem, then this place is not for you. And in my opinion I did not see anyone talk down to you, they just questioned your words which you did say. Welcome to the real world.

Peace

Thanks.

Fair enough. You're right, I wouldn't (probably) T for eye rolling at this level. Kids ball? I'd probably talk to the coach. "Coach, I don't expect your kids to agree with every call I make, but I do expect them to control themselves."

Men's leagues are different animals, IMO.

Jawing was okay, "jawing at me & my partner the whole game" is what concerned me.

Perfect, good for you!

I thought it was a mens league? Only females roll their eyes is how I was raised. Or maybe it was a different kinda mens league. Not that there's anything wrong with that :D

That's all I was trying to say, not talk down to you. We're on the same team!

Hey, I've been picked on for my word choice today. :D

:)

A statement like <i>"sounds like you should have...."</i> is what we in the officiating world call <b>advice</b>. You have the option of taking or rejecting that advice.

And fwiw I agree with Ch1town when he questioned you about letting players jaw at you and your partner the whole game(your words). That's never a good idea in <b>any</b> league imo.

If you take offense to something like the above, then...then, as Jrut said.....maybe you are in the wrong place.

Thanks for your input.

Choose Your Words Carefully ..
 

It's me too. About the only smart remark that I may say to a coach, is when the coach believes that we've made a mistake using the possession arrow. After the ball is put into play, I'll say, "Coach, I promise that you'll get two of the next three".

I learned this on the Forum. I would love to know who "invented" it.

I'm of a similar mind. I'm not a big fan of working rec leagues at any time or anywhere.

But that's just me......:D