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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Thu Feb 28, 2008, 12:49am
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How do you keep your head in the game...

When you have a very difficult issue happening off the court...

ex: death in the family.. or divorce.. or whatever...
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Thu Feb 28, 2008, 12:58am
M.A.S.H.
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Texas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearfanmike20
When you have a very difficult issue happening off the court...

ex: death in the family.. or divorce.. or whatever...
If I'm working it's my time to get away from everything else for a few hours. For me, it starts my preparing myself going to the game. Usually if I'm riding along with someone we usually discuss odd plays and how to enforce it by rule. A good pre-game is the most important thing.
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Old Thu Feb 28, 2008, 01:18am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearfanmike20
When you have a very difficult issue happening off the court...

ex: death in the family.. or divorce.. or whatever...
Working games is the best thing to get my mind off of personal things. Actually it is very easy to stay focused. I my Grandmother died this past football season and I could not wait to get back from out of town to work a game.

Peace
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old Thu Feb 28, 2008, 07:34am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge
Working games is the best thing to get my mind off of personal things. Actually it is very easy to stay focused.
I have found this to be the case, as well.
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Thu Feb 28, 2008, 07:48am
Huck Finn
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Las Vegas
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I think it comes from experience. Officiating probably takes more focus, in many ways, than necessary for a regular job. If you feel like you will not be able to focus, or are questioning it at least, you should turn the game in.

I've had situations occur off the court that mentally/emotionally bring me to my knees, BUT I love this game! My goal is to do right by this game every time out and when I feel like I'm not willing to do that I will quit.
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Thu Feb 28, 2008, 09:21am
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Posts: 1,910
I agree with what everyone else has said. Some nights it is difficult to leave your day in the car when you arrive at a game. I try to break the game into small chunks of time and tell myself to focus until the next time out, quarter break, etc. Then I step back, take a deep breath and relax during that dead ball period. After that it is back to focus.
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old Thu Feb 28, 2008, 09:37am
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Location: Fishers, IN
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Back in December of 2000, I was in my first year...It was 2:00 on a Saturday and I was about to toss the ball for tip off when my wife walked in the gym....It was odd that she showed up because she never comes to the games I officiate...She was there to tell me that my dad had suffered a massive heart attack....Obviously I had to leave the gym and the guy I was working with ended up working the game by himself (kids rec league, so not a huge deal). My dad was pronounced dead at 2:34..he was 64 years old....Although we lived 10 minutes from each other...he was 2 hours away near Cincy at a Riverboat and passed away at a hospital down there and I didn't get to see him that day...I had seen him the day before but just "in passing" as I stopped at his house to pick something up and was gone in a flash without much conversation....

Over the course of the next week getting all his funeral arrangements and the funeral itself and thinking I wasted the last chance I had to see him.... I contemplated if I could actually go back on a court to officiate because I was there when I got the news...I ended up taking the next weekend off from doing games....2 weeks later I took the court again with a heavy heart but I knew I had "my partner" with me in spirit and that my dad would have wanted me to keep pressing on. That in itself kept my head where it needed to be.

Although my dad has never seen me officiate a game in person in 7+ seasons, he takes the court with me everytime I step out there. I agree with others that you can "escape" by taking the court...I've really learned how to tune everything outside the court out and focus on the 10 kids on the court and the 2 coaches I have that day...
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Old Fri Feb 29, 2008, 03:23pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scrapper1
I have found this to be the case, as well.
I concur....
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old Thu Feb 28, 2008, 12:58pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearfanmike20
When you have a very difficult issue happening off the court...

ex: death in the family.. or divorce.. or whatever...
My best advice is with first-hand experience. Take some time off of officiating. Even as much as 3 weeks - which is like an eternity during the season. Your first game back you will fall in love again, and know that you're home.

Also, if you don't already, take some lower level games.

During those 3 weeks, think about a simpler life and be thankful. Don't forget to deal with why you're taking the break.

When you come back, you will be so much more in love with the game, you'll wonder ho wcan such a thing happen?
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old Thu Feb 28, 2008, 01:13pm
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Location: Fishers, IN
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JugglingReferee
My best advice is with first-hand experience. Take some time off of officiating. Even as much as 3 weeks - which is like an eternity during the season. Your first game back you will fall in love again, and know that you're home.

Also, if you don't already, take some lower level games.

During those 3 weeks, think about a simpler life and be thankful. Don't forget to deal with why you're taking the break.

When you come back, you will be so much more in love with the game, you'll wonder ho wcan such a thing happen?
I agree...and while you are being thankful, remind yourself you are not a chrippy coach! (Said the ref who coaches his daughter's team )
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