How do I keep my head in the game? For the answer, I refer you to my pharmacist. :p

I miss the first, obvious call of the game. Coach rips me a new one. A flood of endorphines and adrenaline occurs. My focus improves. ;)

I've been through a lot of different "personal situations" over the course of my reffing, and I've found that it varies from sitch to sitch. Sometimes, reffing is a good escape, and it's a relief to get away from the problems for a while. That's usually only true when the problem is at some kind of balance or statis. In the midst of a cyclone, I have ended up turning back games, or wishing I had.

Once I'm into a game, and having trouble feeling on top of things for whatever reason, here are a few tricks I've used that help.

As the game is going on, talk to yourself out loud about what you see. Do it quietly, with the whistle in your mouth, but do it out loud. It really helps focus your brain (it's also a great way to learn to watch off ball!). "23 guarding, legal so far, good trap, now, 32 gathers the ball, oops, pivot slid --TWEET! -- ... " and so on.

If you have the right partner, you can use them to help you stay in the game, by actively talking about certain players and plays, not to "find" fouls, but just to describe and comprehend details. Needing to talk to the partner about them helps you concentrate on what's happening.

During half- time, you might quickly jot down on paper your worst worries and frettings. Then when you're into the second half, you can say to yourself, "It's in the locker room, I can read that later. Don't need to think about it now."

Usually, for me, I just get irritable, and have trouble controlling my temper. One year, when my 6 year old had been in and out of the hospital 7 times in six weeks for unexplained, uncontrollable vomiting and migraine headaches, I had a little kids game where I whacked and tossed a coach over some little comment that was really no big deal. The next week I apologized, as it had been my fault completely. If you need temper control in your personal situations, work on that as a separate issue. Self-awareness is 90% of that battle.

Lastly, just be really aware of how you're feeling BEFORE THE GAME. Be sure to turn back a game where you KNOW you're going to have problems with attitude, or with keeping your head into the game. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Guys, I've worked games with Juulie and I've never known her head not to be in the game. I'd work with her any time, and you'd all be lucky to do the same. :)

I don't know Fullor, other posters have mentioned the same thing with more fluff and nobody has said a word. I kind of said the same thing myself.

Let me say this for the record. Nevada knows the rules very well, but unless things have changed, he does not go on the court and only concern himself with the book down to the letter. I'm not going to say he's perfect, because none of us are, but he can work the game and isn't as rigid as some may think. I'm not saying this because I've seen him make 5,000 posts on an Internet site, I'm saying this because I know him.

I acknowledged that my sentiment might seem cold, if we are only looking at the situation from the viewpoint of the "hurting" official. However, my main point was that officiating is a service that we provide to hardworking kids and their coaches. They put a tremendous amount of hours in and we have to respect that. I truly believe that they deserve a quality performance, and if an individual is incapable of giving that for whatever reason then he/she ought to step aside and allow someone else to fill in. So my thought is actually about putting others first. I'm sorry that you didn't take it that way.

It is just a game!!!
 

The question is fair and all of us are not going to be able to give up all games just because you have a death, a divorce or some personal sickness in our families. And who cares how much time someone puts into the game, so do we. That does not mean that someone cannot adequately work a game because they have issues going on off the court. Officiating is not a life or death service. Whether we want to accept it or not, after all this is just a game, even if we want to treat is more than that. And to know how to deal with those issues is not only a normal part of life for everyone. If people are not taking off from their regular jobs, I do not see why they could not officiate a “game.”

Rut, I think Nevada would agree with you. He doesn't seem to be saying that a person should always turn back the games if they have these things going on. He seems to be saying that it should be considered, for an official who can't concentrate on the game due to outside issues.

Everybody deals with life's stresses differently, and some of those stresses are harder than others to deal with and not adjust your life temporarily. I can imagine a death in the family causing me to need to turn back games, depending on how close I was to the person who died. I can imagine a divorce going either way as well, although I think a person would be more likely to be helped by continuing with an officiating schedule through this than through a family death.

My comments have little to do with Nevada. My point is that it is not easy to just "give back" or "get a sub" when these issues come up. And having a death in the family is different than a divorce or a sickness that might be an elongated situation.

If you lose a parent or you lose a child is a different emotion than losing a distant relative you barely know. Having lost my father before I ever officiated, you do not just get over it in a day or two. That is something that you are constantly reminded of and have to deal with on a daily basis even years after something like that happens. And I am sure those that lose children have to deal with issues that I hope to never imagine. And for the suggestion that "you just should give back the game" is not only unrealistic, but silly. I would have no problem if someone one wants to not work the week of a death or a couple days. But at some point people have to go on with their lives and get back to what they were doing before those kinds of things. It does not mean the pain and the issues go away overnight or because you are dealing with those things. And that is why the reaction that fullor had was understood in my opinion.

Peace

Exactly... giving up the games is not an option. Keeping my head in the game is the only solution to my problem.

Fair enough

I concur....