Put me out of my misery...

[ILRef80]

I feel for you, man. It's only my 3rd year, but this is my worst nightmare. Assignors like the guy you mentioned have too much power, in my opinion. If this affects your schedule, it's a real shame.

For the coach to hold out the stop sign after you told him to sit down is something that just can't be tolerated. He's dismissing you and you have to T him at that point.

Good luck to you.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by ILRef80

Assignors like the guy you mentioned have too much power, in my opinion.

It's not a matter of having the power. It's a matter of misusing the power.

[Bearfanmike20]

I still have yet to call a T in 35+ games now.

[Back In The Saddle]

Originally Posted by Bearfanmike20

I still have yet to call a T in 35+ games now.

Yeah? And...? So...? What are you trying to say? You've been lucky? Your game management skills are absolutely top-notch? You're a coach? You have rhino-thick skin? Or are you just stirring the pot?

[NM_Ref]

lol...want to hear something funny? My assignor...the one that gave me the lecture ended up throwing out the home coach. And talking to people at the game, they did it cause he "talked to much." I can't get enough of it...funny stuff...

[SMEngmann]

Originally Posted by NM_Ref

lol...want to hear something funny? My assignor...the one that gave me the lecture ended up throwing out the home coach. And talking to people at the game, they did it cause he "talked to much." I can't get enough of it...funny stuff...

This might be funny, but I still don't think the position that you're taking will be productive for you in your career. You're setting yourself up to be one of those "politics" guys by not re-evaluating the situation and essentially calling the assignor a hypocrite. What happened in his game has absolutely no bearing on your game.

In regards to the other posters, I agree that the assignor and the other V ref did not handle the situation appropriately in regard to the OP. I would stop short of saying that the OP was thrown under the bus. Taken at face value, the assignor saw the entire incident, saw the non verbal communication that took place that we can't see and evidently made a judgement that the coach should not have been thrown. That's a judgement that the OP should learn from or try to learn from and self-evaluate to determine whether he could have done something differently. Continually defending a position without being open to criticism leaves no room for growth.

That being said, I don't believe that this situation should have any bearing on your future assignments, particularly if taken as a learning experience. Pulling games would amount to you being, in a way, thrown under a bus. The assignor needs to realize that it's a learning process in terms of dealing with these situations and should actively engage himself in helping you. Doing nothing but criticize and pull assignments would be throwing your career under the bus.

[Bearfanmike20]

Originally Posted by Back In The Saddle

Yeah? And...? So...? What are you trying to say? You've been lucky? Your game management skills are absolutely top-notch? You're a coach? You have rhino-thick skin? Or are you just stirring the pot?

Probably any and all of the above...

Just havn't had the opportunity yet.. thats all.. nothing more.. nothing less.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Bearfanmike20

I still have yet to call a T in 35+ games now.

Please don't turn into one of these guys who counts the days/games/years between technicals and uses that as a measure of officiating quality.

[lmeadski]

I am in my third year, ref a butt load of games a year, and have yet had to issue a T. And, our assignors are very laid back and exceptionally supportive of the refs (one still refs, the other is retired, some of you may know her: Barb Beckett). Anyway, my heart goes out to you guys. I look forward to all the games I ref, I enjoy almost all the coaches, and more than that, the players. Being a ref is great. I hope you all find yourself a similar sitch.

[Back In The Saddle]

Originally Posted by msavakinas

i agree with nm_ref...

As a young guy (6 months shy of 19...) with 3+ years of experience I catch a lot of crap by coaches I haven't had when I walk on to the floor. I should say they test me a lot and as I'm moving up the ladder I've noticed that. Hence the 6 T's in two weeks for me, and none before that this year, and I averaged about 2 or 3 a year my first two years. It's good that you got him I think and I'm sure the other coach took note. He tested you because he knew you were new and wanted to see how far he could push you... and you got him for it. I think that's what has happened to me the past two weeks. It's not a matter of the quantity of T's, but the quality? If that makes sense...

Hopefully it's not what you meant, but the way you said this makes it sound like this is some kind of tit-for-tat or one-up competition. Or worse, it kind of sounds like retaliation.

Yes, at each new level coaches will test you. They'll push you to see what they can get away with. I think the mark of maturity as a referee is that you quickly, confidently, and dispassionately show the coach where that line is. Yes, that may require giving him a technical foul. If it does, it should be delivered in as businesslike a manner as possible. It's not a matter of "getting him." It's a matter of addressing the unacceptable behavior.

My game tonight is kind of a case study in what I'm talking about. BJV rivalry game. H team coach has a reputation for being a ... rather unpleasant coach to work for, shall we say.

First time I worked for him 2 years ago, he got right under my skin. It was not a good experience. I left wishing I had T'd him.

A year later, I work for him again and this time I give him the T he deserved. I felt better about that experience, and even a little like I "got him."

Earlier this year I work for him again. He's as yappy as ever. But I decide to make him my project and see if I can work with him. I've nothing to lose; if I can't make it work I still have the T in my pocket. So when he hollers across the floor about me about a call he doesn't like, I come to him the first opportunity I have and we talk about the call. And I end with, "Coach, you know I can't have you yelling at me across the floor like that." He half smiles and shakes his head like, "yeah, I know." All game long I answer his questions, tell him what I saw. Things go pretty well.

Tonight he and his assistant are in usual form. Early in the first quarter, I go to him after his assistant has gotten too vocal and tell him, "Coach, you need to get your bench under control or it's going to cost you." He tells his assistant to zip it. And we have very little trouble with him (the HC) the rest of the night.

I think the progression is interesting. The first time out, he gets me. The second time, I get him. The third time, I try something new and it works. The most recent game, I show him where the boundaries are up front and everybody is happy (or as happy as you can expect). Now you could say that some of that developed with time and familiarity. But honestly I have worked very few games for him over the years. Mostly I think it's a matter of my increasing level of maturity as an official. Things got much better when I moved beyond the "get him" stage.

[Dan_ref]

Everybody has their trigger point for T's. I would never criticize another official for giving a T. I might for not giving a T. That said... maybe you work for a supervisor that would prefer not to have to deal with T's. At the most he should have spoken to you in private, not in front of fellow officials. To chase after the coach in public is the kind of weak @ss kissing behavior you probably don't need from an assignor. Find another league to work if you can.

Some believe that 'better' officials throw fewer T's and if you limit the number of T's you give you'll be a better official. To me, this is like saying better officials call fewer travels and if you want to be a better official just call fewer walks. Silly argument IMO.