Sarcasm

Rita C · #1 (**permalink**) Sat Dec 08, 2007, 10:12pm

Ok, I'll admit upfront I screwed up. I forgot the simple rule. Get to the point and tell the coach what you need. Keep it simple. Anything else gives them fuel. I'm sharing my story for the newbies as what not to do.

5th grade basketball. Bench coaches start yelling and screaming because my partner and I didn't call something they wanted called. (This is the first quarter.)

I call the head coach over.

Me: I'm hearing noise from the bench.....

Coach (interrupting): There's no need to be sarcastic!

Me: Don't tell me how to talk. Ask your bench to be quiet. (The last part is all I should have said to start with.)

I think he said something else. The whole time he's got his hand on my shoulder. He complied with my request and we got back to the game.

At halftime, he's talking to my assignor. I said to my partner, "Bet you dollars to donuts he's complaining about me." Sure enough, I found out later, the poor baby was complaining about how terribly sarcastic I was.

As an aside, if I have a coach touch me again like that, what is my recourse?

I'm way out of practice dealing with coaches. I don't get this during baseball season.

Rita

bob jenkins · #2 (**permalink**) Sat Dec 08, 2007, 10:49pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rita C

As an aside, if I have a coach touch me again like that, what is my recourse?

Ask him to buy you dinner. Okay, that was sarcastic.

Terrapins Fan · #3 (**permalink**) Sat Dec 08, 2007, 11:39pm

I had a female coach grab me from behind while I was in the "C" position and she said " ( my Name ) They can't do that!" Shaking my waist from side to side.

I turn to her and said " coach, get back in your box"

She says " I am in my box"

I moved out of her box.

Problem solved.

Back In The Saddle · #4 (**permalink**) Sat Dec 08, 2007, 11:49pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rita C

5th grade basketball. Bench coaches start yelling and screaming because my partner and I didn't call something they wanted called. (This is the first quarter.)

My opinion, your first mistake was in simply not T'ing the coach for the yelling and screaming. That kind of behavior is simply unacceptable in my book. Most coaches at this level just need to learn where the boundaries are. It's our ... opportunity to show them.

But since you went the route you did (and of course you were there and I wasn't), once he puts his hand on your shoulder, I think it's gotta be like any other inappropriate behavior from a coach. You address it first. "Coach, take your hand off my shoulder." If he doesn't remove it, toss him.

But really, I think the T right up front would be the way to go.

Just my $0.02

Steven Tyler · #5 (**permalink**) Sat Dec 08, 2007, 11:51pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terrapins Fan

I moved out of her box.

Problem solved.

Way to go, stud........

Terrapins Fan · #6 (**permalink**) Sun Dec 09, 2007, 08:36am

I knew there was irony in that....

JugglingReferee · #7 (**permalink**) Sun Dec 09, 2007, 09:38am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rita C

Ok, I'll admit upfront I screwed up. I forgot the simple rule. Get to the point and tell the coach what you need. Keep it simple. Anything else gives them fuel. I'm sharing my story for the newbies as what not to do.

5th grade basketball. Bench coaches start yelling and screaming because my partner and I didn't call something they wanted called. (This is the first quarter.)

I call the head coach over.

Me: I'm hearing noise from the bench.....

Coach (interrupting): There's no need to be sarcastic!

Me: Don't tell me how to talk. Ask your bench to be quiet. (The last part is all I should have said to start with.)

I think he said something else. The whole time he's got his hand on my shoulder. He complied with my request and we got back to the game.

At halftime, he's talking to my assignor. I said to my partner, "Bet you dollars to donuts he's complaining about me." Sure enough, I found out later, the poor baby was complaining about how terribly sarcastic I was.

As an aside, if I have a coach touch me again like that, what is my recourse?

I'm way out of practice dealing with coaches. I don't get this during baseball season.

Rita

If you do not wish a coach to touch you, make sure you follow through.

If you board has an established method for communication on issues such as these, follow them. Otherwise, tell the coach yourself, and as soon as you can.

As for your comment, I think it can easily not be considered sarcastic. My personal opinion is that the coach is a bit on edge for 5th graders: why are bench coaches (3?, 4?) complaining about something?

However, I'm not sure that I would have asked the bench to be quiet. They are permitted to cheer, for example. I would have said/reminded the HC that any and all concerns must come through the head coach only, and that ACs/others are not permitted to act as they did. Then tell the HC that this is his/her warning for bench decorum. If you wait a couple of minutes to talk with him/her, s/he will likely have forgotten about the incident a bit and be less concerned about it.

If the HC does ask about something, but not in a polite/courteous manner, you can amend your statement, possibly suggesting that the polite manner was infered.

rainmaker · #8 (**permalink**) Sun Dec 09, 2007, 11:19am

Rita, "I'm hearing noise from the bench" doesn't sound all that sarcastic to me. It's not as direct as "you need to tell your bench to be quiet", but it's not dripping with sarcasm either. If I said this, and then the coach said to me, "You don't have to be so sarcastic" I'd say, "I'm not being sarcastic. You need to keep your bench quiet."

I'm afraid I'd be dealing with the hand on my shoulder with undeniable sarcasm, though. Either that or physical re-direction.