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Rita, "I'm hearing noise from the bench" doesn't sound all that sarcastic to me. It's not as direct as "you need to tell your bench to be quiet", but it's not dripping with sarcasm either. If I said this, and then the coach said to me, "You don't have to be so sarcastic" I'd say, "I'm not being sarcastic. You need to keep your bench quiet."
I'm afraid I'd be dealing with the hand on my shoulder with undeniable sarcasm, though. Either that or physical re-direction.
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