I know how much we all like to here about how dumb coaches are, so here is a true story which happened to me last week.

Teas A down 18 at the half. When teams are leaving the floor to the locker rooms Team A coach is staring a hole right through me. I ask him what's wrong, he tells me that "I", the official, am killing him. That it's my fault his team is down 18. I thought for a second to try and find a Davism but couldn't think of one so I said " I'm sorry I missed all those lay ups and the 10 turnovers I made, I'll try to do better in the second half." He responds to me with, " You should be!" He came out to me after the break and apologized for blaming me, and get this, could I ask my partner to get in the game. I gave him the "Stop" sign and walked away. Another rocket scientist entrusted with the youth of America.

No, it's not a Davism, but it's not bad!

I'm just wondering why you're repeating yourself? Why not just type "Coaches" as the title of the thread? The word "Dumb" is just redundant. Save yourself a little effort. :D

Chuck

(Sincere apologies to Hawks Coach!!)

If you are going to put us down, please make sure you know the difference between here and hear! Some of us coaches learned to spell in elementary school.

Yeah! That's wright!

(This is to much fun two bare!) :)

I'll see your dumb head coach and raise you an assistant.

Boys JV. Partner calls Intentional Foul. We administer the free throws, and go to inbound the ball. Both (Head and asst) coaches from the offended team jump up and yell that we didn't administer the right amount of free throws. I run over to consult with the table and see what they are talking about. Apparently, since we were in the bonus they thought they got 2 shots, then 1 and 1, then the ball. It took all I had not to bust out laughing as I explained the rule. They still think we cheated them out of a 1 and 1 though.

I call the dumb head coach, jughead assistant, and raise you an annoying timer.

JV Tournament, I call a foul and while I am making my way to report I take a peek at the scoreboard and see 9 fouls. I report the foul and say 2 shots, tell my partner 2 shots, he administers and tells players 2 shots. We shoot the first one and coach says "hey, shouldn't that have been one and one". I look up and scoreboard still says 9 fouls, I look at timer and he's giving me the one and one signal. He apparently posted the foul before I reported it and was listening to the weather (it was snowing outside) on his school radio so he didn't notice me say 2 shots.

Did the first shot miss? If so, tell the coaches that they are right, the second shot doesn't count, and we now go to the AP arrow (only if it favors team B). :)

I know they have "schools" at aquariums, but do they have schools at zoos? :D

Glad to see "wear" all in the same "bote". I guess I should have "apolleejized" up front for my typing "skillz". Sometimes my "brane" works faster than my fingers "does". I never "lernt" it good in "elmentry" "skuul".

Sorry Hawks Coach, I've read many of your posts and I must say YOU and it seems Only you are the exception to the coaches stereotype.

Irregardless of your above statement,please let I reiterate that some zoos do contain aquariums.Me not sure if some aquariums also have zoos.

I am sure there are many coaches who know the game and/or know enough to stick to coaching rather than reffing during their games. But unfortunately many coaches do not pass the test. Those guys and gals cause the rest of us to get a bad rep. And the lower the level of play in my experience, the worse the coaches are (Mr. Season on the Brink excepted, of course!).

Kind of stupid when you think about it. The most annoying loudmouths usually have the least on the line! Gotta win that 3rd grade rec title so I can move up to the next level in the coaching ranks :D

Every time I push the right button, they give me another banana :D Got 3 already today!

I'll see the dumb head coach, jughead assistant, annoying timer and I'll raise you a group of alumni that just returned to the high school for winter brake just to get on the refs (personal experience).

One of my favourites was the coach that explained to his team during a time out that all they needed to do to win was "score more than the other team".

Fair enough, but I would have thought that at State Representative level the players would already be aware of this (state rep is probably equal to the NBA development league, or Div1 NCAA).

One from tonight. Game's a 50 point blowout with 20 seconds left in the 4th quarter. Losing team (A) has the ball in the frontcourt, A1 is slightly handchecked by B1, but there's no displacement or loss of ball. A's coach: "THAT'S A FOUL!!!"

The response (which I didn't say, because I was only the timer): "Not with 20 seconds to go, coach!"

As long as we're slamming grammar and spelling, I have to add that irregardless is not a word. Sorry.

"winter brake"

Is this what they put on a sled so no one will BREAK their neck?

Bob

"As long as we're slamming grammar and spelling, I have to add that irregardless is not a word. Sorry."

if you read carefully, you'd have seen that Jurassic was making a "funny", and misspelling words, or using wrong ones.

Bob

And - he was being subtle in doing it because I made this very same comment on a post by devdog.

Try to keep up, dude. :)

Unless - you were doing the same thing. Cool.

I realize that now that I read the post a second time. I may be slow but I'm stupid.

I'll raise everyone a extra head coach. Last night Girls Varsity, we barely made it to bonus (7 fouls) on the visiting team, and didn't even get there on the home team. Our "room" was a coaches office in the Home locker room. As we are walking in at the half we hear the coach "Now be careful, you know they are going to call the ticky-tack fouls the rest of the game". I don't know what his definition of ticky-tack was, but I almost asked him if HE was watching the same game as us.

You blew a golden opportunity to create your own Davism. Coming out for the second half, you could have reported the first foul against his team as (for instance), "blue, 21, for a ticky-tack." The look on his face would have been priceless.

However, I don't know what the hand signal is for that. Any suggestions? Maybe a light slap on a limp wrist.

Mark, if you keep posting like this, you'll blow your cover...

Calling it both ways? :D

Oh, sheez...

That was not what I meant at all. Mark knows what I'm talking about. No one else should read that last post from me.

There's a couple of us that know what you're talking about.We don't want him to stop,either!:D:

Signal for calling it both ways?
 

The official goes to reporting area and presents both hands at the waist level and "rocks them" like s/he is bouncing a slinky back and forth. Verbalizes: "Foul, both ways, 32 White, (Pause) White, 32, both ways , Foul" :D