The Official Forum - someone help me!!

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Quote:

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I know I would have shown more respect. But then again when I was a teenager I did not have the same attitude towards adults as they do today. I guess the parents are responsible for those things.

Peace

Your stuff didn't stink then either, huh? I thought that might have been a later life development.:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by DC_Ref12

I won't speak for Bad Zebra, but I'm here to learn. This is the most active basketball officials' forum I've been able to find on the Web which applies to the field I'm preparing to enter (ie, NFHS/NCAA). There is a plethora of knowledge on here and I have learned tons just in the last few weeks I've been participating.

That being said, the tone at times, especially to new posters, can be very petty and immature. I realize this is a free country, and it's not illegal to be a jackass, but it's also just plain bad manners.

It seems to me that, for some reason a good number of posters, for whatever reason, feel the need to add snide comments, a tone of superiority and/or rude responses as part of a junkyard dog type mentality.

Again, no one is saying, JRut, that it should be required for posters to say only nice things and everyone should hold hands and skip in meadows of daisies. But there is no need for a lot of the nastiness that goes on here, especially to newcomers who are just looking for a place to get started, or get information or just to pick someone's brain about the rules of basketball and/or officiating.

These are not unfamiliar themes. These are everyday things. I often wonder how certain posters on here function in everyday society with the type of attitude they display on this board. If certain posters act they way they do on here in real life, I wonder how they could possibly have any friends or hold a real job or have any respect for anyone. Or maybe it's just that people feel they can act differently when they're talking to a computer screen instead of a real-live human being.

Either way, in the end it all comes down to the golden rule. You don't like being disrespected any more than anyone else out there. So show a little respect yourself.....please :)

Just my $0.02.

Nobody owes you anything on this site or any other place for that matter.

As for the Golden Rule, "Treat others as you would like to be treated." I can tell you I have rarely ever said anything to someone I would not expect if I made similar comments on the other side. As an official I like people to tell me the truth. If that means that I said something or did something that was "out of pocket" I will not be offended. I know when I am evaluated I tend to ask more questions to get a real response out of people even if I do not like what I just heard at the moment. I guess we have a different definition of "respect." It is not disrespectful to question the motives of someone asking a question that can be considered very vague or unclear. Unless someone calls you a name out of the box (which did not happen) then I might agree with you. The OP did not even clarify his position when he was being very unclear. If you do not want people to have that reaction, then do not ask any questions at all. I know I have asked questions that were vague and later had to come back and clarify. Then again, I am confident in myself and realize that communication is often a two way street. I think we have a bunch of people on this site that are very sensitive and cannot take the fact that someone even questions them on any level. If you cannot take it here, I question what is going to happen when you have people in your face and really calling you names.

Peace

Quote:

Originally Posted by mplagrow

Your stuff didn't stink then either, huh? I thought that might have been a later life development.:D

No, I just did not say a lot of things to adults as kids do today. I knew my place. I do not think many kids know what that even means. If you step on their shoes they want to feel disrespectful.

Peace

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I agree, I know what you're saying. I just couldn't resist giving you a little grief. I was at a game in cognito recently and there were a couple of teenagers there yelling and berating the refs in a grade school game. I finally made a comment to them about showing some respect for people, and they were astounded that I said something. Their arguments?

1) they get paid for this, so it's OK
2) we're not cussing, so it's OK
3) the refs were out of position and had bad mechanics, so it's OK
4) they had played some HS and college ball, so they knew what they were talking about (yeah, I remember when I was young and had all the answers)

The same refs will be doing some conference semi-finals this year, they were doing me a favor by taking these grade school games. IOW, there was no problem with mechanics or positioning. It's just the modern person's right to trample the refs.

I could not image when I was that age acting that way. Usually we had adults that would squash that behavior before it got too far. Then again we have adults that would rather be these kids friends than be the bad guy and tell them what is right.

Peace

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Nobody owes you anything on this site or any other place for that matter.

Perhaps you missed this part of my post?

Quote:

Again, no one is saying, JRut, that it should be required

I agree with the overall message of your post. However, I think you might have looked past my overall message.

I'm okay with criticism. I'm okay with asking for clarification. What I find disrespectful, oftentimes, is not WHAT is being said or asked, but the WAY it is being said or asked.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DC_Ref12

Perhaps you missed this part of my post?

This was a general statement. It said this without any consideration of your post.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DC_Ref12

Once again, much of what I said was not in a direct response to everything you said. I am talking in generalities of this site and other places where officials decide to come. This place is very tame compared to other places that have been on the web. So if the things said on this thread are offensive, I really hate to see how some of you new guys would respond on some other sites that really get personal and call more names.

If you have a problem with what people are saying, that is not going to change because you get upset about it or come here and complain. I guess I am a person that tends to worry about those things that I can control. I cannot control what people say on the World Wide Web or any website at any time. I can choose who I listen to or who I think has a valid point. I also take into account the experience of the people, where they live, what level they work and over all history of their postings. I guess over the time I have been here I learned that very early. I got over it really quickly how I was treated, because nothing said here ever affected me when all was said and done. This why I keep saying how a disagreement is not going to affect my schedule because at the end of the day I have already proved what I can do to the right people. Just because someone takes you on with an issue does not make them rude or in the wrong.

Peace

Quote:

Originally Posted by howie719

He's a teenager and felt threatend. What would your response have been at 16-18?

When I was 16-18 my response would have been face-to-face up close and personal and I would have thought twice to make sure I could back up what was about to come out of my yap before opening it.

How about you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by mplagrow

Wow, who said that???:confused:

Well, the OP and you, just to name 2

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I am in an officiating class at my school and I have a couple of questions I hope someone could answer for me. 1) What are some of the basic fundameltals of being an official ...

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I've taken master's degree level courses where we were required to glean from the experience of those in the field, rather than rely on some stale, static textbook. Cut him some slack, he's doing what he's supposed to do--learn from those with experience.

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Are you advocating that even if you are beginning a master's course, you can't learn anything from people with practical experience in the field? Even as an experienced pro, you can always learn from others. That's why I come to this forum.

Nope, not advocating that at all. OTOH...if I know the basics of carpentry it's not likely I'll go to the internet to find out if a saw or a screwdriver is best tool for cutting wood. Just sayin'

Face To Face Or Face to Computer

From DC Ref 12: "Maybe it's just that people feel they can act differently when they're talking to a computer screen instead of a real-live human being."

DC Ref 12: Great point. I certainly hope that what you say is true. I've been reading and posting on this Forum for a few years now, and up until recently, I had trouble understanding how some of our members can function in every day society. I imagined not ever wanting to meet any of them in person, however, after your statement above, maybe these members do act differently when they're face to face with a real person, instead of being an anonomous "poster". Did you ever notice that those members who use their real names and identify their real basketball affiliation seem do get involved with little namecalling?

I find this Forum to be great source of infomation about basketball officiating. I just wish it was a "kinder and gentler forum". As Rodney King said, "Can't we all just get along ?". At mass this weekend we were reminded about the "Golden Rule", "Do unto others what you would have them do onto you".