Should Be Fan Required Reading

[Larks]

http://news.cincypost.com/apps/pbcs....70394/1035/SPT

Lessons learned from the bleachers
Column by The Post's Lonnie Wheeler

As of this week - elimination days in basketball - Martie and I are no longer high school sports parents. Now that our wee one has completed her rounds, we're allegedly if belatedly possessed of that precious thing called perspective.

The best lessons we've learned - some of them started long before high school - have come from the likes of our friend Mike, who put soccer moves to music and from time to time let his T-ball team practice under the sprinklers. Also from the other kinds - the screamers and dreamers, the complainers and fast-laners, the absent and obsessed, the mothers and fathers of the only kid who apparently matters.

And from the kids, of course.

The short list looks something like this:

Let the coach coach (lest you embarrass your child and yourself). Don't yell instructions from the bleachers. It confuses your kid and undermines the coach, who then has to undo your damage. You lose credibility, not to mention dignity.

Let the ref ref (lest you embarrass your child and yourself). First-hand reports from the floor and field inform us that, on a high percentage of occasions, the official was right in his call and you were wrong in your protest and your kid wished you would just watch the game and cheer when good things happen and shout encouragement when they don't. Baleful bellowing only darkens the atmosphere. Plus, you never sound as clever to other people as you do to yourself. (Trust me on that one.)

Don't throw stuff onto the field. There was this soccer game. It was getting a bit chippy, and one of the boys on the other team turned to one on ours and said, "Uh oh, my mom's probably going to do something stupid." About that time, a bottle or whatever came flying out of the stands and landed in the grass. "Dang it, Mom," said the poor kid, head dropping and shoulders slumping. The game was called.

Don't make your kid cry. See, if they cry, they won't want to play anymore, except maybe to make you proud of them and possibly say something nice on occasion, which is not the right reason. Kids are smart. They understand that your criticism, particularly if it comes with an edge, is your way of saying that you're not pleased with them. Pleasing you is not the object here.

Don't excessively praise, either. It makes the kid think that he or she is better than the coaches realize, and probably better than some other kid who's getting more playing time. That's not such a bad thought until it's aggravated and swells to the point that your kid resents the coach, and resents the teammate, and it begins to show, and all's the worse.

Don't turn your child against the prople on the same side. This is the nefarious cousin of the above. A kid needs to respect authority, not rail against it. He or she needs to cooperate with co-workers, not plot against them. Kids need to realize that the team was not created to be their personal showcase; that it, like everything else, is really not all about them.

The final score will not be nearly as critical to the rest of anybody's life as you thought at the time. As my daughter said, "Don't suck the fun out of it." What your child will remember, in the years ahead, is the experience, the camaraderie, the times. Friends and funny things. More indelible than the score will be the pursuit of it. Whatever the final numbers, the food supply in Central Africa will be largely unaffected.

The other team is not evil. Without it, you'd have nobody to play. Besides, other people's children are no less worthy of your applause than your own.

Forget the scholarship. At least, be real. Division I scholarships come along rarely. Division II offers a few. Division III is a sometimes expensive but generally wonderful alternative. Meanwhile, most schools, regardless of intercollegiate classification, offer academic aid. You want your kid to go to college? All for algebra, stand up and holler.

No pushing. Enable, Mabel. Show the way, Jose. Then step aside, Clyde. You can lead a horse to the salad bar, but you can't make it eat that raw broccoli that they put out in great big chunks.

And then it ends. We've received no instruction on this part. What do you do for a social life?

[rainmaker]

WOW. Could we get him to run for President? He's got some rare perspective and wisdom. And he could have more effect on the food supply (and AIDS medicine supply) in Central Africa.

[Dan_ref]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

WOW. Could we get him to run for President? He's got some rare perspective and wisdom. And he could have more effect on the food supply (and AIDS medicine supply) in Central Africa.

And you say this because the only thing preventing the eradication of starvation and disease in Africa is GW Bush?

Right, that makes a ton of sense

btw, not a big fan of GW Bush, just very much against political cheap shots taken in the name of all that is good and holy.

Carry on...

[rainmaker]

Originally Posted by Dan_ref

And you say this because the only thing preventing the eradication of starvation and disease in Africa is GW Bush?

Right, that makes a ton of sense

btw, not a big fan of GW Bush, just very much against political cheap shots taken in the name of all that is good and holy.

Carry on...

No, that's not what I was saying at all.

I was saying that he could do more for starvation and AIDS in Africa as President than he could right now as a parent of a kid. It was a response to his comment that even if your kids win or lose, the food supply in Central Africa would still not be sufficient.

I'm also not a fan of GWB, as most know, but I'm also against political cheap shots, regardless of the name in which they are taken.

[Jurassic Referee]

Well, I'm for political cheap shots in the name of all that is good and holy.

Maybe we should have a poll.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

I'm also not a fan of GWB, as most know, but I'm also against political cheap shots, regardless of the name in which they are taken.

I am when your so-called leader is incompetent.

Peace

[26 Year Gap]

Mr. Lock Down! Oh, Mr. Lock Down! Hijacked thread!

[Dan_ref]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

Well, I'm for political cheap shots in the name of all that is good and holy.

Maybe we should have a poll.

Let's leave the Polish out of this, OK Wojciech?

btw, I bet Dick Bavetta could wipe out AIDS in Africa. And if Chuck Barkley moved there it would increase the average weight of all Africans by 7 lbs.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Dan_ref

btw, I bet Dick Bavetta could wipe out AIDS in Africa.

I saw a picture of Bavetta in a drug store tonight. It was on a bottle of iodine.