Maybe the all time dumbest remark...
 

...by a coach.

Summer rec game, pretty decent teams. A1 fouls B1 during rebounding action. Coach A decides he needs me to hear this:

"He wouldn't have fouled him if you wouldn't let them tip the ball around like that!!"

Uhhhh...ok coach, anything else?

That coach was acting stewpit.

How do you know he was just acting?

Probably a good thing you didn't come back with something like..."Teach you kids to rebound and they won't be tipping th ball around like that." :D

Cuz nobody's that dumm.
mick

I'm sorry, but I would have to find a reason to tie my shoe right next to the coach just so I could ask him to explain that remark.

One can only hope.

Well, at first I thought he was talking to his team so I gave him my best Travis Bickle "You talkin' to me??"

He said yes.

I said he's got to be kidding and jogged downcourt.

Ahhhh yes, the sad truth is that there are people that dumb. I can't remember who posted it, but the proof is the lady who was screaming for 3 seconds all night and when the official questioned her she admitted to not knowing what it was either.

That's when you say "it's not my fault, coach. I.....
1) had a cortisone shot
2) have a naturally high testosterone level
3) had a brownpop last night
4) was dehydrated
5) Somebody put something in my water
6) It's a coaches' conspiracy
7) the test was wrong
8) my mother said I'd never do anything like that anyway.

Then puke on his shoes.....

I don't know if its a good idea, game management wise, but these sorts of idiotic comments demand further questioning.

"What exactly should I do about them tipping the ball, coach?"

"What signal should I use when I stop them from doing that?"

I'm sure there are a few more.

I had this coach at a camp a couple of months ago that wanted his team to foul late to stop the clock. So he yelled, "foul." No problem, except the only guy that did anything about it was 3/4 of a court away from the ball and just grabbed an opponent -- right in front of me. So, I call an intentional foul, report it, and the coach of the offending team tells me that I need to read the rule book. I didn't argue, but rather asked him specifically what the rule book said that was in conflict with what I did. He said, "oh, forget it," but I pressed: "no, coach, you brought it up; what does the book say specifically about that situation?" Predictably, he didn't answer.

He didn't answer and was thoroughly embarrassed in front of his players. I don't recommend doing this -- even in summer league/camps where these coaches are about as real as 3 dollar bills -- and would never do it during a real game but sometimes the well worded question back the coach off completely.

Wow. I had totally forgotten about "puke on his shoes." But why not stare at his pants?

I was working a game one night in Vegas, and a coach turned to my partner and said "you're not helping me at all."

My partner, with a straight face, turned to the coach and said "coach, i'm trying to help you, but your players won't pass me the ball!"

I couldn't stop laughing when my partner told me that story at the end of the game...

Ah yes it be me who had that lady yelling all night "3 seconds", but it was the only call she knew.

Wow. What the heck is "code"? Never seen that one before on the forum.