Hold The Ball
 

I had a situation get real ugly at a 7th grade girls game about 2 weeks ago, and would like to know how you all handle this type of situation. Post player b5 comes down with rebound, guards a1 and a2 go after the ball, a1 gets an arm while going for the ball. Tweet to call the foul. A2 continues to hold onto ball with B5, b5 pivots hard away, then directly into a2, sending her to her rear-end. I blow the whistle again and say very loudly "when the whistle blows you hold the ball, hold the ball, hold the ball." Not the best choice of words, but it's what came out. I didn't think the contact justifed a T.

That set off WW III. I go to the table to report the foul, and the parent of B5 comes over and starts yelling at me. Claims I should not berate his daughter. I start to tell him I was not berating his daughter, just trying to get the play settled down. Partner comes over to get me out of situation, and says we don't need to talk to parents. Now every time down the court the parents are crying for a call. One parent (HS certified no less) is yelling at the top of his lungs, for travelling, offensive foul, illegal pick, you name it.

Team b gets to the free throw line, shoots first FT, partner forgets to check table b4 giving ball to thrower for 2nd try, big mistake. Team b had a sub waiting. Obnoxious parent from above comes racing down to the other end of the court and screaming again for us to get our heads out of our butts and let the sub in the game. I blow my whistle and tell him to leave the facility, game won't go on till he is gone. The site admin was actually on the way to do the same when I had him tossed.

Now for the fun part. Coach sends a letter to the league stating that I swore at coaches, players, and fans. States I said "hold the GD ball." GD is not part of my vocabulary. I would have used an F bomb if I had swore. This is really frustrating as I never swear. Heck, the only time I ever talk to the players is to find out what age group they are in b4 the game starts. The league is going to send me a letter telling me not to swear at players.

Sorry for the long post. How could I have handled the initial incident better? I feel pretty good about tossing the parent, as things really settled down once he left. I actually had 3 or 4 parents come up to me after the game to ask me what took me so long, and the parent of b5 apologized for yelling at me too.

Why haven't you and your partner responded to the league?

I did reply. The head of refs has actually thrown out the same parent twice before. He's in my court. The other coach in the game also indicated my partner and I did fine. Could have done better, but ... The league "has" to send out the letter, part of their guidelines I guess.

I'd write a letter back to the league and tell them my side of the story. Mention in specifics exactly what happened and that the coach could perhaps be biased. Ask the league to find out if anybody taped the game, and if so, if they could review the incident to see if there is any evidence either way.

You didn't indicate who won the game. I'm assuming that A won and that team B was bitter. Sounds like that team and their followers need to be reminded of sportsmanship!!!

I probably would have had the parents quieted down after the first altercation, when it became obvious they were getting out of hand. Normal bickering and begging is one thing, but this kind of "chatter" isn't part of the game, and can hinder your ability to focus on the game. Especially the one who is HS certified (I assume this means as a ref).
Of course, this assumes this all took place as I imagine in my head, and my head can be a pretty creative place. :)

Did you know before the game that Mr. Certified had previously been tossed twice? Knowing that before-hand would probably get him a shorter leash and tossed on the first altercation.

Reading the post, I don't think the OP meant that the certified ref was the one that was tossed twice prior.

I failed to mention suggestions on how to improve on my first reply. I think what could help is if you get coach B on your side right away. I've had similar situations where I've had coach B talk to his followers to have them settle down, which worked very well.

You have the ability to give a technical foul to team B. I did that ONCE in my life after continued blabbering from parents and it worked great!

The other parents also probably had it down pat...you should've tossed the individual sooner. If not directly, then by talking to site admin at the first deadball after you deemed it necessary.

I find that there are more hecklers when reffing young kids than at my college/university games. Ignorant parents who think their kid will make the NBA or WNBA.

Then have your lawyer write the league a letter.

BktBallRef has a good point. The coach is commiting slander by alleging you swore at his players. That defames your character is should not be tolerated. I know that it's a pain in the a$$ to get a lawyer to write a letter, but maybe you have a friend who's in the business and can draft something up on official letterhead.

Coaches have too many liberties already on us and it shouldn't continue off-the-court where they're writing letters with lies in it.

Yes, the certified ref was the one who got tossed. The head of the league refs was the one who tossed him, I found that out after the game. Ths guy only does 10th and below. I wonder why?! I did write the league back with my side of the story. I did see a parent video taping the game, and informed the league of that. However, no parent is fessin' up to taping the game, also suspicious if you ask me.

What I'm going to take away from this is to be a little calmer, yet still assertive, when I have action after the whistle. Probably get both coaches together and chat just to get the players/fans/coaches a chance to calm down if nothing else.

Sorry, I didn't realize it was the certified ref that was the parent that got tossed. In my association, this individual would get reprimanded for abusing a colleague, and if it continued (as it has in this situation), then he would probably be thrown out. I can't believe the lack of professionalism in this individual!

As an attorney, if a coach falsely alleged I (or one of my clients) swore at a player, he'd get a demand letter for a retraction that would be copied to his (assuming school based) principal, superintendent, and school board president. I doubt I'd initiate a suit over that, but I'd sure as hell make his life miserable for a while.

Since he was a certified ref, He should know the Referees code of ethics, which he clearly violated.

If your assignors knows of this to be a recurring offense he should be suspended from the association.

I bet assignor is probably concerned of warm bodies when needed..

It sounds to me like the league wasn't that concerned and the letter was just a formality. I'd ignore it. If sportsmanship continues to be that bad, start thowing people out. If the league doesn't back you, go work for someone who will.

To prevent or reduce the initial scrambling after the whistle, you run in as you whistle the foul, and then watch the players before you signal the foul, just as you would for a held ball, or pre-game for your partner to rush in. 7th grade girls can easily get so focused on the matter at hand that they don't hear the whistle. Then what you say to them as they continue to scramble is "Okay, the whistle blew, break it up." This isn't aimed at one girl, so you can be loud without being accused of yelling at a certain player. You do it in a bored tone of voice with the implication that there's no fault or problem here, just a lack of attention to the original whistle.

But the real problem came before the game began -- 7th grade girls, rec league! This is a guarantee of problems and the best motivation to get moved up. I still find that they can get under my skin sometimes. Grrrr....