Varsity coach to me (in conversational tone): "I can not believe you guys are so bad. That last shot was blocked and hit the side of the backboard on the padding and you call nothing. UNBELIEVABLE!"

Me to varsity coach: "And the fact that you didn't hear a whistle should tell you something, coach."

I try not to speak with coaches like this but this one was on our case a few times so I could not resist saying something.

Makes ya wonder sometimes...huh?! ;)

"Coach you're right, it is unbelieveable that you don't know the side of the backboard isn' out of bounds."

And it really gets fun when the ball hits the top of the backboard, which isn't out of bounds either....

"Coach, I find it unbelievable that already in the first 2 minutes, your team has missed a layup, a freethrow and has 2 turnovers. Plus your o-lay style defense has your team down by 6 points"

I wouldn't sink down to the coach's level - simply tell him that the side of the backboard, BY RULE, is in play and therefore no whistle. Just simply state it and let it go. Although difficult to do (let's face it we all want a little dig every now and then), let the coach figure out he's the knucklehead - has a bigger impact when he discovers the fact rather than you telling him.

Love it when the coach yells out the 3 second lane count - simply tell him BY RULE the count resets on the shot attempt; quiets 'em down every time. Take the confrontation out and avoid "one upping" and you'll usually get the coach off your back for the rest of the night.

ditttoo,

I completely agree but I couldn't resist saying something else here. This is my first year calling varsity games and I think it's also the first time I have had a coach make a big deal of a rule in which they clearly had no idea what the rule is. I had a coach earlier in the year question a backcourt call but he knew I was a new ref and I was told by my partners he would probably test me a little because he has a good reputation as a coach and knowledge of the rules. I'll take your advice in the future and use the moment to educate.

i'm with you and i pretty much take the high road when talking to coaches, although it's always fun to think of a good response to the coach. of course my comments are way to long to say in the few seconds available to me to explain to him.

Naw, what I like like to do is point at the coach, and then holler to my partner "Hey, wait 'til I tell you what this moron just said". Then I puke on his shoes.

One of my partners was officiating a game last weekend. Coach complains about not getting a PC foul on an opponent. Partner says, "Coach, your player never had legal guarding position!" Coach, "Legal guarding position? Do you guys make this stuff up, or what?? What is legal guarding position? I never heard of that!!"

My partner said he thought the guy was joking...but after a few quick exchanges after this, he realized this coach was SERIOUS!!

I'm also relatively new to calling varsity games and to compound things I'm calling most of my games in a new association and I empathize with these comments. These coaches early on love to see "fresh meat" on the court and they try to "work" me as the new guy. Since I call HS games everyday and the area that I cover is very large, I deal with this tactic several times a week. I can't say it hasn't gotten really annoying. I think the only thing that I have do to help me is to be very definitive about my calls because any hint of tentativeness will be noticed. I think this is why I like my 3 person games better than my 2 person because the tableside mechanic has allowed me to better communicate with the coach. As annoying as the coaches can get, it's easy to remind myself that any minor annoyance the coached may cause me pales in comparison to the fun that I'm having calling varsity ball this year.

I had a few gems from both coaches in my Freshman boys game tonight. For some reason the home coach, who lost by 20, was obsessed with thinking that the opponents were touching the line on free throws. He moved down the bench at the free throw line level at one point and was pointing at the line yelling that the kid was touching it. I was trail and although the kid was close, he was not on the line. He wanted to talk about it again on another trip down the floor, I told him that I can make that call myself and that he needed to move on. Very juvenile.

Second situation, a visiting team player collected a rebound, came down on both feet then lost his balance and fell to the floor. I whistled a travel. Visiting coach shouts "he never moved his feet, how can you call that a travel?" This coach also seemed to think that 3 seconds could be called during a series of 3 or 4 shot attempts in an 8 second period of time. They both provided some nice comic relief for my partner and I.

Ahhhh, the classics never go out of style. Would you also stare at his pants in this situation, or is that too over the top?

Naw, that's reserved for recidivists. :)

With vocabulary like that, you'd better hope the moderators are feeling patient and gentle today. Otherwise, you could end up looking more like a duck than you expected (think tar and feathers.)