Clear one's mind

[Back In The Saddle]

Originally posted by ChuckElias

Here's a twist on your sitch. I have a game coming up with a coach that gave me nothing but crap when I was a new ref and didn't know how to handle it. He was a prototypical howler monkey, made things personal, yelled "I know the assignor, blah, blah, blah." The whole nine yards.

Here's the twist -- He's gonna be my partner.

I honestly have no idea how I'll deal with him or if I will deal with him at all. Suggestions welcome.

Well, you begin with an appropriate pre-game (meaning you hide one of his socks while he's dressing). Then move to the coaches/captains meeting where you set the proper expectations by mentioning to both coaches that your partner is new and eager, but not to bright and would they not give him too much crap at first. Keep in mind that the first couple of minutes set the tone for the game, so call a couple right in front of him, and whistle his line once or twice. When a player complains about one of his calls, be sure to hustle on in and tell the player that you'll straighten him out at the half. Once the game starts going to hell, and everybody is mad at him, fake an injury and let him finish it alone. Sit in the stands and write an evaluation to be given to the assigner. Don't forget to mention that he's not in proper uniform because he's missing a sock.

Well, maybe not, but it's sure fun to think about

[SMEngmann]

Originally posted by ChuckElias

Here's a twist on your sitch. I have a game coming up with a coach that gave me nothing but crap when I was a new ref and didn't know how to handle it. He was a prototypical howler monkey, made things personal, yelled "I know the assignor, blah, blah, blah." The whole nine yards.

Here's the twist -- He's gonna be my partner.

I honestly have no idea how I'll deal with him or if I will deal with him at all. Suggestions welcome.

I had this situation happen to me, the coach who became my partner was a very loud, somewhat obnoxious coach, who made a couple of games unpleasant for me as a rook, but I never took any action against him. When I worked with him, I treated him like a normal partner, and since he still coaches, made a point to talk to him about his team. It's very easy for me to create a clean slate and we ended up having an easy game. I think the key is to understand that coaches work hard and are under pressure while coaching that might make them do things they might not ordinarily do, or may later regret. I can't remember holding any sort of a grudge against a coach, and usually once I TCB with a coach, I don't have problems with him again.

[tomegun]

I think your response to him when he thought he had a minute could have been something more like "a sub must report to the table within 30 seconds or it's a technical foul by rule." Of course that is easy for me to say after the fact

I also don't think you can/should wipe the slate clean. I think you should do whatever you did right to make the coach upset in the first place but be the same for both teams. It might work out that you have to make some tough calls against the other team and the coach will see you don't care about any personal issues. It might turn out that you have to make the same calls against his team and he might think it is personal. Your consistency will eventually let the coach know you are going to be the same every time out. I would also mention that if he does something to deserve a T don't hesitate. Same for the other coach. Finally, don't back down from this coach in any way. Look him squarely in the eyes when shaking hands and answering questions, if you can. If he sees this from you my signature line will apply and he will hopefully focus on coaching his team.

As others have stated your pregame with your partner is vital. I'm still of the mindset that you should build confidence in your partner(s) beginning with the pregame. You don't want him on the defense before you leave the locker room. Promote the crew concept over and over again. A harmonious crew is a thing of beauty! Have fun.

[ChrisSportsFan]

Oftentimes, the situations we think are going to be the hardest to get thru,
the ones we replay over and over in our mind,
the situations we get lots of advice on,
are the same ones that once we're past them we can say; that wasn't so bad. I find this works out in business, officiating and life. Tony, because you've prepared for it, you'll get thru it just fine.
Let us know how it turns out.

[DownTownTonyBrown]

Originally posted by Back In The Saddle
Well, you begin with an appropriate pre-game (meaning you hide one of his socks while he's dressing). Then move to the coaches/captains meeting where you set the proper expectations by mentioning to both coaches that your partner is new and eager, but not to bright and would they not give him too much crap at first. Keep in mind that the first couple of minutes set the tone for the game, so call a couple right in front of him, and whistle his line once or twice. When a player complains about one of his calls, be sure to hustle on in and tell the player that you'll straighten him out at the half. Once the game starts going to hell, and everybody is mad at him, fake an injury and let him finish it alone. Sit in the stands and write an evaluation to be given to the assigner. Don't forget to mention that he's not in proper uniform because he's missing a sock.

Well, maybe not, but it's sure fun to think about

KK,
I would have guessed you were too young for wit like that. It sounds like a blast and I might try the first half of your paragraph with my partner tomorrow. Or am I missing part of this ploy? Is it a race to see who can fake the injury first? The last one on the court is probably the loser, right? You know my knee has kind of been hurting.

[Back In The Saddle]

Originally posted by DownTownTonyBrown

KK,
I would have guessed you were too young for wit like that. It sounds like a blast and I might try the first half of your paragraph with my partner tomorrow. Or am I missing part of this ploy? Is it a race to see who can fake the injury first? The last one on the court is probably the loser, right? You know my knee has kind of been hurting.

Thanks! It's been a while since anyone considered me young

[DownTownTonyBrown]

They just cancelled my game.

One of the schools is not in session today. Likely due to bad weather (snow and wind) so they moved the game to tomorrow night. I already have a game for tomorrow so someone else gets the grand opportunity.

I have enjoyed the thread though!

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally posted by DownTownTonyBrown
They just cancelled my game.

One of the schools is not in session today. Likely due to bad weather (snow and wind) so they moved the game to tomorrow night. I already have a game for tomorrow so someone else gets the grand opportunity.

I have enjoyed the thread though!

Well........don't forget that tranquil little pool in the forest- for the next time you get the little sh*t.

[RookieDude]

Originally posted by ChuckElias

Here's a twist on your sitch. I have a game coming up with a coach that gave me nothing but crap when I was a new ref and didn't know how to handle it. He was a prototypical howler monkey, made things personal, yelled "I know the assignor, blah, blah, blah." The whole nine yards.

Here's the twist -- He's gonna be my partner.

I honestly have no idea how I'll deal with him or if I will deal with him at all. Suggestions welcome.

Chuck,
For me, this would be easy...
Shake hands, smile and say..."Glad, we get to work together tonight. Say, remember when you were that A$$hole coach way back when?" Keep smiling and see where it goes.

[gordon30307]

Originally posted by ChuckElias

Here's a twist on your sitch. I have a game coming up with a coach that gave me nothing but crap when I was a new ref and didn't know how to handle it. He was a prototypical howler monkey, made things personal, yelled "I know the assignor, blah, blah, blah." The whole nine yards.

Here's the twist -- He's gonna be my partner.

I honestly have no idea how I'll deal with him or if I will deal with him at all. Suggestions welcome.

I have a question for you. When this Coach gave you a hard time was he an official? Nothing aggravates me more when a Coach (doesn't matter what sport he officiates) gives officials working his game a hard time. They should know better.

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by gordon30307
When this Coach gave you a hard time was he an official?

He had been an official at one time, but gave it up to coach his kids.

We had a professional, but curt, pre-game. Game was uneventful as far as our interaction. I'm glad it's over, tho.