Buddy ref cracked me up

[Mark Padgett]

Saturday morning rec - I have two 8th grade boys games. In the adjacent gym, a buddy of mine has two 8th grade girls games. He doesn't usually do girls games. Before we start, he comes over to my gym and asks me, "What size balls do the girls play with?"

I'll leave it at that.

[tjones1]

Good one!! LOL Who do I have to talk to to get some more "Smilies" added to the board.

[Snake~eyes]

Originally posted by Mark Padgett
Saturday morning rec - I have two 8th grade boys games. In the adjacent gym, a buddy of mine has two 8th grade girls games. He doesn't usually do girls games. Before we start, he comes over to my gym and asks me, "What size balls do the girls play with?"

I'll leave it at that.

Did you say "What ever the Coach has?"

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally posted by Snake~eyes

Did you say "What ever the Coach has?"

And.....if the coach is female?

[roadking]

jv girls aggressive close game, girls start fouling to stop the clock. i told the girls to make sure the went after the balls only on a fouls. my partner just laughed at me!

[theboys]

Watching a 6th grade girls game Saturday. Action is fast and furious under one goal. All of a sudden the girls all start giggling. One runs into the restroom clutching something in her hand. Here extensions had fallen out! Sheesh.

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by theboys
Her extensions had fallen out! Sheesh.

This happened in a Varsity game I did a couple years ago. Young African American lady jumping up and down trying to get the rebound. Play finally turns the other direction and all the players move upcourt. One bench is laughing hysterically, and there's a large brown pile of hair in the middle of the lane where the last rebound was. Young lady comes back and grabs her hair, while her teammates are in hysterics! As Chris Rock said, "I'll shake that weave right off your head!"

[Dan_ref]

Originally posted by ChuckElias

This happened in a Varsity game I did a couple years ago. Young African American lady jumping up and down trying to get the rebound. Play finally turns the other direction and all the players move upcourt. One bench is laughing hysterically, and there's a large brown pile of hair in the middle of the lane where the last rebound was. Young lady comes back and grabs her hair, while her teammates are in hysterics! As Chris Rock said, "I'll shake that weave right off your head!"

There's a story we've probably all heard by now about a falsey being found on the floor during a girls games. (For you younger guys a falsey is what girls used to put in their bras to enhance their...errr...well you know...in the days before parents would send their 16 year old daughters to be surgically enhanced.)

[Goose]

These remind me of another incident although it wasn't basketball, but softball

I also umpire slow pitch and we are doing a women's slow pitch league. I'm in the field and my partner is behind the plate. Plate umpires were a bag off the belt that contains a couple of extra balls just to set the set the picture.

Well, woman swings and tips the ball right back to the ump and hits him square! Women all hoot and holler with the batter apologizing. Ump steps out of box to catch his breath and I yell in to him, "are you O.K.?" He yells out to me, "No problem, it just hit me in the ball bag!"

With that comment, the whole field breaks up, and then he finally realizes what he said. I must admit if was pretty funny.


goose

[ChuckElias]

So how's the weather down there, John? You missing the ice and snow we got up here? I had games cancelled on Thrs and Sat. Not gonna get either one back, either.

Move go smoothly?

[ChrisSportsFan]

Originally posted by Goose
These remind me of another incident although it wasn't basketball, but softball

I also umpire slow pitch and we are doing a women's slow pitch league. I'm in the field and my partner is behind the plate. Plate umpires were a bag off the belt that contains a couple of extra balls just to set the set the picture.

Well, woman swings and tips the ball right back to the ump and hits him square! Women all hoot and holler with the batter apologizing. Ump steps out of box to catch his breath and I yell in to him, "are you O.K.?" He yells out to me, "No problem, it just hit me in the ball bag!"

With that comment, the whole field breaks up, and then he finally realizes what he said. I must admit if was pretty funny.


goose

a piece of free advice: while ump-ing women's slowpitch softball, and the pitch never gets higher than the minimum requirement, don't say "you're flat".

[David M]

A couple of years ago I was behind the plate in a freshman baseball game. The batter fouled off several pitches and my ballbag was empty. I turned to the home team coach and said I have no balls. The players nearly fell of the bench laughing.

[Mark Padgett]

I've posted this before but it seems to fit in this thread. A few years ago, I was working a middle school tournament at a venue in Beaverton, Oregon that does not allow anyone to bring in basketballs from the outside. You must use the ones at the facility for all games and practices.

During halftime of a 6th grade boys game, one team grabbed all the available basketballs to warm up. A player from the other team came up to me to complain. He said, "Isn't there a ball quota?"

I replied, "Yes. Two per player. Girl's league is different".

He stared for a moment and then he "got it". He grinned really big and went back to tell his teammates what I said. They all laughed and for the rest of the game, that team thought I was "the cool ref".

I guess it proves I can tap right in to 6th grade humor.

[Junker]

I've posted this before, but since people are repeating themselves.....8th grade girls tournament, my second year. We're walking back from a timeout, a player from a team wearing blue asks me who the ball belongs to. I say, "blue ball" and she proceeds tell me how blue balls are her favorite balls and how much she loves blue balls. I of course had tears in my eyes and couldn't wait for a dead ball to tell my partner.