I had a JV level CYO game just this past weekend. Team A drove for a layup, and team B had 2 loud obnoxious fans. One jumped up, onto the sideline and yelled, "Come on ref, you only get 2 steps for a pass or a dribble, not to shoot, don't you know anything?" Next trip down I asked where he got the 2005-06 rule book, as that must be a change that I haven't seen. My partner and I got a good laugh out of it.

I think one of the coolest things about being an official is getting to type the word "tweet". That just cracks me up for some reason.

This one is an instant classic!! Enjoyed this one Chris.

"If you had one more eye you'd be a Cyclops" (Yelled to Mick during game in Dollar Bay)

Working a college game and this guy was tearing into us( sitting right behind the scorers table). We had listened to him the whole first half and part of the second half. We had a time out and our R was at the table checking time outs. The guy yelled at us and the started down the bleachers to the bathroom. As he continues down the stairs he is still yelling and people are cracking up. My partner stops the guy and looks at him and says " Hey buddy come over here." As the guy approches the table my partner talks were nearly everyone behind the table could here him and says "Hey do you know what an @ss wrapped in plastic looks like?" The guy looks at him and chuckles and says "NO" My partner then fires back "Take out your drivers license and look" Needless to say the rest of the half the fans, players, coaches, and us were laughing.

[Edited by refaholic on Dec 8th, 2004 at 11:46 PM]

I'd never try it!! But I'll laugh heartily when someone else pulls it off.

Here's mine
 

After a loud slap for a foul, someone in the stands yells, "Even Ray Charles could have called that foul". I still use it on loud fouls.

Here's one from this week::
sitting in the stands for my Daughters Freshman game Tuesday night, I had to move twice and told my wife both times, let's move away from that idiot (fans asking for calls that are rules in some other game but certainly not basketball rules). I made sure they heard me as I'd had enough. Now it's the 3rd period and we're up by 25, our girls are packed in the zone and our guard tips a pass past mid court, our girls and their girls are racing for the loose ball when a Mom and Dad (previous idiots) stand up and start yelling to the refs; "it's the mercy rule, haven't you ever heard of it? They can't cross mid court." I simply turned around and stated; "that's the mercy rule in rec ball but it's not in HS". The Dad says; "my bad, maybe I am an idiot".

Here's a similar one - you put your arm around the shoulders of the guy and say, "Do you know the difference between an @sshole and a hole in the ground?" When he says "no", reply, "you can't put your arm around a hole in the ground."

3 seconds!
 

Working a boys game in a fall pre-season league. It is also the league where our chapter trains new officials.

One of the players takes a shot in the paint. Misses, gets his rebound, shoots again. Misses again, gets the rebound, shoots again, misses.. etc.. He's in the lane for at least 10-15 seconds before he gets the ball in.

The other coach and the fans want a 3 seconds call.

On my way upcourt I explain to the coach why it wasn't so.

He doesn't buy it, and neither do the fans:

"It doesn't matter!"

"He can't do that ref!"

"He can't stay more than 3 no matter what!"

Then, one of the fans makes a noble attempt to stick up for me. He assumes I'm one of the new trainees.

"Give the ref a break! He's still learning the rules!"

Had to admire his courage, but he was just as ignorant as the rest :)

Here's one: Take that $h*+ back to Foot Lockers

I am going to watch some friends in an intramural softball game tonight. I will be yelling this exact phrase to the ump at a most opportune time. I love it.

Disclaimer: I know just about all the umpires.

After one call at one end of the court, I worked my way up the court to the other end where I heard "That was a terrible call, young man." Since I am 48 I figured that it was either a compliment or he could not see very well.

Wow, this thread is alive again. Someone has been doing some (Google?) searching! :)

Yeah, I did, b/c Juulie asked me to repost one of my old stories. Rather than repost my "move your fat @$$" story for the 100th time, I just found this old thread and linked it to another thread.