Advice needed

[Mark Padgett]

Here's the litmus test for basketball officiating. Go down to the local zoo with a tape recorder. Tape the howler monkeys for one hour. Go home and lock yourself in a small closet. Play the tape at full volume for 2 hours.

If you stay the entire two hours in the closet and then can come out and walk straight, you qualify.

However, if after five minutes, you either have a nervous breakdown and/or wet your pants, it means either you don't have what it takes, or you're French - or both.