Advice, Please, on a Coach Problem

[rainmaker]

Last year, near the end of the season, I ended up ejecting a coach. It wasn't exactly a mistake, but if I'd have had a little more experience and perspective, I wouldn't have done it. Still, the guy was such a jerk about the situation, that it was hard not to feel justified. In fact, his threats and innuendoes in the parking lot afterward would have gotten him arrested if the police had been there (and I wish they had been!!) So we filed our reports with our commissioner and, of course, never heard another word about it.

Okay, that's the background. The current situation is... I'm assigned to this guy's school again in a couple of weeks. I'm not sure he's still coaching. I hope his bad attitude got him fired, but I just don't know. Now, I've got lots of questions. Do I ask the commissioner if the coach is still the same? I can't call the school and ask, buecause I don't know what his name is. If it is the same guy how do I approach the situation? I read the article in the eReferee pages about handling difficult coaches. My question is, What do you specifically think about and say to yourself when you are anticipating coach problems? What do I say, or NOT say to my partner? If I ask the commissioner and it is the same guy, should I ask to be excused, or tackle it head-on? How do I tackle it head-on? If I get to the game and he brings up the past, what should I do, what should I say? What should I NOT do or NOT say?

In case it matter, we're talking 8th grade girls, here, not any big top-of-the-league play-off type game. I mean, I know it's important to these girls, and I try to take this seriously, but it's not that crucial in the larger scheme of things. Still, I can use it as a learning experience, but I want to be prepared and handle it the best possible way.

You guys and gals have been VERY HELPFUL to me over the last few months and I appreciate and anticipate all your responses and advice!!

[Lotto]

I would just go in there and act like the professional you are. Forget about what happened last year. Officiate this game. Follow all the routines that you've always followed without deviation. If you're still thinking about ejecting the coach last year while you're doing this game, you won't be doing your best job.

[mick]

Originally posted by Lotto
I would just go in there and act like the professional you are. Forget about what happened last year. Officiate this game. Follow all the routines that you've always followed without deviation. If you're still thinking about ejecting the coach last year while you're doing this game, you won't be doing your best job.

Lotto is right on the money!

You guys and gals have been VERY HELPFUL to me over the last few months and I appreciate and anticipate all your responses and advice!! [/B][/QUOTE]

Rainmaker, This happens all the time, that's why we ref and not coach. Last years game is water under the bridge, you've learned and hopefully so did the coach. If he didn't you have what it takes to give him the boot! You can give your partner a heads up during the pregame but if the coach is still a jerk, your partner will figure it out.

Last year I T'd a coach twice sent him on his way and as he was headed out of the gym he told me I'd never work in his gym again. He's on my schedule 3 times this year, twice at home and once on the road. Take each game one at a time, work hard and have fun!!!

[mikesears]

I had a similar situation early this season. I was officiating a girls 7th Grade game at a tournament. I ejected a coach (much too quickly I must admit) during the 1st quarter. His team eventually won. A week later, this same team coached by "my old friend" (who already served his 1 game suspension) were playing for the championship. Before the game, I warned my partner that I had thrown this coach out of a game a week earlier. I was nervous that he would try something and force me to "T" him early. To my delight, this coach DID NOT SAY A WORD TO ME about any of the calls that my partner nor I made (or didn't make).

My suggestion is to simply let your partner know and go on with the game. Just treat it like any other game.

[Dan_ref]

I agree with the others. Most likely this was not the first
or last time this guy acted like a jerk and he might not
even remember you. Work the game, don't go in with a
chip on your shoulder and certainly don't go in scared.
If he acts up you know what to do. Also, if you don't have
a cell phone get one. When bozos like this wait around for
you in the parking lot call the police. If you're alone
or feel threatened go back into the gym for an escort.
Otherwise go to your car & get out of there. In addition,
make sure that you know who is responsible for game security
before the game starts. If there's not a "security" person
there then identify the tournament or league director or
someone else responsible for the game & your safety.

[Mark Padgett]

Juulie - I have worked with you and I'm sure that if you tossed this jerk, he absolutely deserved it. My advice is always the same in a situation like this. Each game is different. Just go and do it like you never saw the guy before. Put the burden on him to modify his behavior, not the other way around.

Think of it this way - if you beg off the game, you are saying that a coach who acts like a jerk should have the authority to decide who referees games.

That's the job of the commissioner.

BTW - last Tuesday night I tossed an asst. coach who wouldn't leave the floor while complaining about a call. I had the same guy Saturday night in a tournament and he never said a single word the entire game. Maybe he was scared. The strangest thing was that the team (from Canby) had two different head coaches on the two different nights. I'm still wondering about that one.

[Brian Watson]

Sounds like getting tossed is a regular happening.

[BktBallRef]

Originally posted by rainmaker

Do I ask the commissioner if the coach is still the same? I can't call the school and ask, buecause I don't know what his name is. If it is the same guy how do I approach the situation?

Don't call the commissioner or the school. Chances are, the guy is still there and that's why he's sending you back. But it doesn't matter if he's there or not. Approach the same way that you would any other game. Don't change a thing about the way you officiate or how much crap you do or don't take from him.

I read the article in the eReferee pages about handling difficult coaches. My question is, What do you specifically think about and say to yourself when you are anticipating coach problems?

Always be prepared for coach problems but don't anticipate or look for them.

What do I say, or NOT say to my partner?

I would probably tell my partner, just so he/she can observe you and let you know if it's affecting your game.

If I ask the commissioner and it is the same guy, should I ask to be excused, or tackle it head-on? How do I tackle it head-on?

Again, just treat it like any other game.

If I get to the game and he brings up the past, what should I do, what should I say? What should I NOT do or NOT say?

Just simply say, "Coach, we're not going there." If he persists, give him the stop sign. If he persists after that, bust his ass and get away from him. Hopefully, your partner will get over there quickly.

Remember, if you go looking for trouble, you're sure to find it. Good luck!

[rainmaker]

Thanks to all of you, and also, I think it's kind of cool how much agreement there is. For some reason I expected more polite disagrteement, like on a block/charge problem. But it feels good to know exactly what everyone would do. I can take that certainty to the bank!

Originally posted by Dan_ref
Most likely this was not the first or last time this guy acted like a jerk and he might not even remember you.

I hadn't thought of it quite this way! but it makes sense and is re-assuring.

Also, if you don't have a cell phone get one. When bozos like this wait around for you in the parking lot call the police. If you're alone or feel threatened go back into the gym for an escort. Otherwise go to your car & get out of there. In addition, make sure that you know who is responsible for game security before the game starts. If there's not a "security" person there then identify the tournament or league director orsomeone else responsible for the game & your safety.

I didn't handle this part very well last time. I was busy thinking about other things, and hadn't really considered the possibilities. Believe me, THAT won't happen again! Actually my partner was probably in more danger than I was. He was taking more of the verbal abuse, and actually may not have been as physically fit as me.

I do have a cell phone now and I'm not afraid to use it!

Thanks again to ecveryone.

[OPTIPLEX2001]

When you go to shake his hand, be sure to warn him that this is just a game, and that if you find anything to be unsportsmanlike or offensive, that you will not hesitate to assign a technical foul to him. If he keeps it up, throw him out. You are in control - not him.

Matthew

[Hawks Coach]

One other thing to keep in mind - if he is a jerk, he has probably gotten T'd a few times, tossed once or twice, and allowed to get away with it on occasion. If you tossed him, he may well be more worried about that "jerk of a ref" he has for this game and watch his tongue more closely than with those he has been able to abuse. My bet is he will be on his best behavior - but with jerks you never know. Please get back to us on how it goes!

[BktBallRef]

Originally posted by OPTIPLEX2001
When you go to shake his hand, be sure to warn him that this is just a game, and that if you find anything to be unsportsmanlike or offensive, that you will not hesitate to assign a technical foul to him. If he keeps it up, throw him out. You are in control - not him.

Matthew

Sorry Matthew, but that's not how we handle things. This goes back to what I said earlier. "If you go looking for trouble, you're sure to find it." Your suggestion is the definition of looking for trouble.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally posted by rainmaker

I do have a cell phone now and I'm not afraid to use it!

Juulie - did Howard ever pass around copies of the new Oregon statute on assaulting a sports official? Every sports official in Oregon should be aware of it and carry a copy with them in their bag. If you ever have to call the police, show them the statute and tell them you want that county's DA to prosecute.

I have a copy I can email to you if you don't have one. It is also available on the State website.

I would recommend this for all officials who work in states that have similar legislation. If your's doesn't, contact Bob Still at NASO (www.naso.org) for help. They helped us here in our state.

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by Mark Padgett
Juulie - did Howard ever pass around copies of the new Oregon statute on assaulting a sports official? Every sports official in Oregon should be aware of it and carry a copy with them in their bag. If you ever have to call the police, show them the statute and tell them you want that county's DA to prosecute.

I have a copy I can email to you if you don't have one.

Please do! Having it in my bag is a good idea, which I had never thought of. I expect the police don't necessarily know all the details, so being prepared (like a good Boy Scout) makes sense. Thanks