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Which reminds me of another good one:

Coach: C'mon admit it -- that was a bad call.
Me: Okay, how many mistakes do you get per game?
Coach: At least 10.
Me: Okay start counting mine, that being number one.

You'd think this was a set-up for abuse, but I never heard another word the rest of the night.

Ok--do I have permission to use these? LOL!

Quote:

Originally posted by rainmaker
If we only had the search function...

If you're bored one evening, you can page back manually through the old threads and look for "Davisms". Or did someone say Google works for this?

Had one the other day, (I thought it, not said it):

Fan: Ref, what game are you watching?
Me: Is this a multiple choice question?

My bedridden sister got a laugh when I told her this old Mark Padgett favorite:

Player, after a time-out: Ref, whose ball is it?
Smart-aleck ref, rotating ball: Looks like it belongs to a kid named Wilson.

And my personal favorite:

Coach (handing glasses): Ref, do you want to borrow these?
Ref: They're not helping you any!

Years ago, I was working a boys game-team grabs a defensive board, and throws a half-court bullet outlet toward the sideline. Ball, receiver, and defender all converge while I'm scrambling to get out of the way. Defender absolutely hammers receiver, and my partner who sees I'm more concerned for my life than blowing a whistle, taps the foul. Coach goes ballistic, "Dave, you can't see that far! 50 feet away! You can't see that far!" Over and over. Partner (excellent veteran official nearing the end of his career) reports foul, wheels around and says, "Ya know coach, on a clear day I can see the sun, and that ### #### thing is 93 million miles away-Sit down!"

It put the coach away for the night.

I forget who gave me this line, but it was someone from this board.

I had a Christmas tourney a couple of years ago where two defenders converge on A1. I called the foul on B1 (her fourth). Coach says, "You can't call that on her, thats my best player!".

Suggested line...Looks to me like it's one more and she's you best bench sitter. :)

Pre game with coach who for some reason actually has a dozen questions about rules and violations. Who wanted to remind us to watch everything

"Coach, your clipboard and My whistle. We Are NOT TRADING tonight!"

Quote:

Originally posted by blindzebra
Check into Lasik surgery.I went from around 20-80 and dealing with contact lenses to 20-15 and no problems.Had it done 2 years ago,and I have never regreted it.

I had it done at noon on a Friday,slept til about 5 that afternoon,and I could see great.I drove myself to the doctor at 10 the next day and was 20-15 in one eye and 20-20 in the other.

I too thought Lasik was the best things since sliced bread as I was also 20/15 the day after surgery. Unfortunately in my case my eyes have regressed to 20/80 and they are still worsening. I had them both enhanced with a second round of Lasik to no avail.

Due to the risks that Lasik presents, the cost, and the possibility that your eyes may go bad again, it simply isn't worth it. For now I wear glasses on the court but I am looking at a new procedure called Ortho-K that involves wearing contact lenses to bed that shape your eyes. You then take them out when you wake up and you can see clearly all day long. At bedtime you put them back in again.

My two cents worth...