The Gender and The Locker Room

[rainmaker]

In a different thread, Oatmealqueen posted this:

Originally posted by oatmealqueen
I had an interesting game the other night. I'll try to keep a long story as short as possible.
Girls HS Regional final Class "A" (highest class in MI)
3-whistle crew. Pre-game cut short by constant intrusions, but I had worked with these two gentlemen several other times and it had gone pretty well.
I toss, five seconds later, first of many whistles from my partners. Double bonus in the first quarter, most fouls off ball or slight contact with shooters. I honestly did not see most of what they were calling, some of it in my primary. It was a fairly clean game between two very athletic teams. Needless to say, I was a little discouraged.
Halftime, and I wanted to cover a few things (like staying in your primary and making sure that we didn't call so much that it intruded with the athletic play.) Guys got defensive!
Second half came and went, and was very exciting, still quite a few whistles. (team won at the buzzer.) Since we were in seperate dressing room areas, they took off before we could talk after the game. I thought that was odd.
My question is, if your partners style (of calling a game) is so very much different than yours, how can you find that happy medium without abandoning your style all together?
Thanks in advance.

Before the discussion of styles really got rolling, I changed the subject, to the question of the separate locker rooms. I decided that the styles questions is importnat and helpful, and I am starting this thread to talk about the locker room thing.

Here are two other interesting posts from that thread on this topic:

Originally posted by oatmealqueen
I've cased the places that we go to during the year, and most have an outer room, and then maybe a bathroom that has a door that closes, or a private 'round the corner area.
Since I work with the same guys all of the time, we get a little routine going at all of the schools of who dresses when and where. So far it has worked fine, and we've been able to stay together for the pre-game bonding period.
Any other "delicate" stuff, may be handled in the closed door bathroom area.

Originally posted by rcwilco
I have had the opportunity to work a siginifcant number of games with female partners. I always try to be considerate of their comfort level and if I get there first, make sure we have two changing rooms if I know they want that. Many times they want to just use a bathroom or private area in our assigned room. Plus you know what the rooms are like at the high schools and we can judge from our experience. Sometimes we can get there a little early so that we are changed, ready for our pre game and we do not loose any time from not changing together. While I tend to be very cautious of any situations that could be misconstrued or even have the slightest chance of impropriety, I am usually comfortable with what they want, (maybe from my years with the paramedics in Boise). I also make myself available after a game to talk if at all possible. I want to make sure that the focus is on us as partners and a team.

Any other suggestions of how to handle the locker room time with a mixed-gender crew would be appreciated.

[RefSouthAlb]

Our schedules come out early enough that we know when we are officiating with a female ref ( in my case). When so, I try to contact the official prior to game day and indicate we should get to the game at least 15 minutes earlier than normal (ie 45 minutes to an hour). This would allow us to change in our separate rooms, then meet somwhere neutral for the pre game. At that time I also indicate that at half time and after the game we should meet in the same place before we get changed to discusss the game and what's happening.

Works most times.

[dblref]

I work with female officials 3-4 times a year. One of us (or 2 of us if 3-person) will usually step out of the room while the other changes pants/shirts and then we pre-game. Seems to work O.K.

[tomegun]

I guess this is something that depends on many factors. During my time in the west all of the female officials were very personable people, to me anyway. I think this matters because they knew me well enough to know that I would treat them with respect when it came to dressing. Also, most of the schools were built from the same blue prints with an inner locker room and outer office. This seemed to also work during tournaments when 9 officials could be in the room at once.

[mick]

Oatmealqueen is gonna hafta work that out again this year at the Finals.
I'll bet she'll do it.

[Edited by mick on Dec 1st, 2003 at 08:41 AM]

[ChuckElias]

Attagirl!!

p.s. - I wish we had separate seasons, too!

[oatmealqueen]

Originally posted by ChuckElias
Attagirl!!

p.s. - I wish we had separate seasons, too!

Thanks to all. It's such a nice honor.
No locker room problems at the finals. They put us all together and let us fend for ourselves.
Separate seasons is the only way to go. I feel that Michigan is the only state to get it right. IMHO

[garote]

We just change in the locker room together...what's the big deal????

Just kidding Somebody had to say it..so I did

[JRutledge]

Originally posted by garote
We just change in the locker room together...what's the big deal????

Just kidding Somebody had to say it..so I did

I know of a couple of husband and wife official teams that work together from time to time. We know they do not have to change in separate rooms.

Peace

[Hawks Coach]

Originally posted by JRutledge

I know of a couple of husband and wife official teams that work together from time to time. We know they do not have to change in separate rooms.

Peace

But they ride home in separate cars, right?

[Adam]

Only if he goes fishing in someone else's pond, if you know what I mean.

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by garote
We just change in the locker room together...what's the big deal????

Just kidding Somebody had to say it..so I did

I know you're just kidding, and basically, I think your attitude is healthiest. But I have heard rumors of at least one broken marriage where a shared locker room might have been part of the problem. Although I don't think that was the only factor at all, I'm sure it contributed. If the rumors are true.

MY primary concern would be to avoid my (ref)partner thinking "Egads!! That's the scariest thing I've witnessed in a long time!"

[oatmealqueen]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by rainmaker
[B]

Originally posted by garote
We just change in the locker room together...what's the big deal????

MY primary concern would be to avoid my (ref)partner thinking "Egads!! That's the scariest thing I've witnessed in a long time!"

Good one!
I've probably scared my guys as well. But, who cares.

[CLAY]

I would not work with a mix gender crew.















Ok, just kidding. Wanted to see how long it would take rainmaker to respond. kidding, kidding, kidding.

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by CLAY
I would not work with a mix gender crew.















Ok, just kidding. Wanted to see how long it would take rainmaker to respond. kidding, kidding, kidding.

Hey, no problem here. If that's how you feel, you're doing us both a favor by staying away...