Talking to coaches/game admin's......kinda need help

KingTripleJump · #1 (**permalink**) Sat Nov 22, 2003, 01:28pm

So I'm officiating in the huge tourney this weekend (75 teams) and it's being played at over 8 high schools. Well at one of the high schools, the home team is playing. It's 9:30 in the morning, so I figure no one will be there. Well the principal and some school admin. show up. That is fine with me, seeing as how we need a game admin. anyway.

So I make several carrying the ball calls on the home team. The home coach didn't care--she knew they were doing it, and plus they were up by almost 25 points. (trust me, there was no way the other team was coming back.)

So I hear one of the school admin's make a comment about the call I make. Then I just blow it off. But at halftime, he comes into the hospitality room to question my calling of the carrying the ball calls. At first, he is cool about it, and then he starts giving me lip. I explain the rules to him (or as I remember them to be from reading that damn case/rule book) and he keeps telilng my I'm wrong. Then as my partner and I are leaving to go back on the court, he asks me if I know who he is. And I say, well a school administrator I hope. And he says yes, but he's also a college referee and starts naming off these college assignors, telling me to take his cell phone and call them right now so they can explain the rules better to me, since I didn't know them...and that he's a big time college ref and all. About this time, the principal of the school is telling him to chill out and such.

So my question--

1.) What would you do in this situation?
2.) Since I'm a very young guy doing big time varsity games here in Texas, some of the coaches try to give me lip and push me around. I guess they figure since I'm the youngest on the court--between other officials and coaches--that I am not good or that I won't give them a T because I'm scared. So....I need some help in what to say to coaches when they try to ***** me out.

(I'm usually one of those persons who lets comments go in one ear and out the other and I hate being mean...lol)

sorry for the long post.

Adam · #2 (**permalink**) Sat Nov 22, 2003, 01:43pm

I'd call his assignors and let them know about the crap he gave you. He was out of line.
Curiously, what was he saying the rule was, and how was he saying you were wrong to enforce it?

oatmealqueen · #3 (**permalink**) Sat Nov 22, 2003, 02:56pm

I realize that you were trying to be nice to this person. But usually, after a game, I rarely discuss the way I called a game, or the rules with anyone except my partner(s).
If someone starts getting in my shiznit, I calmly say "Im sorry, but I can't comment" and then get away from them. And usually if the person is an official or big muckety muck, I usually close my ears as soon as they start the name dropping game. JMHO
And you said that the coach was fine and the game was obviously fine, why would this idiot care?

mick · #4 (**permalink**) Sat Nov 22, 2003, 03:21pm

King Triple Jump,
I am sorry I wasn't there to hear the converstion.

My advice:

Don't mud wrestle with swine;

Being younger/newer, if you say anything, say, "Thanks I may have to rethink that."

Don't take Big Time's comments personally;

Rethink Big Time's information and see if there is anything you can use;

Given that Big Time's delivery was very poor, discuss with your peers the gist, not the pist, of the information;

Share with this forum what that information was.

Experience and confidence will show you the way to reasonable, personal limits of toleration.

Hang in and hold on.
mick

oatmealqueen · #5 (**permalink**) Sat Nov 22, 2003, 03:49pm

Quote:

Originally posted by mick
King Triple Jump,
I am sorry I wasn't there to hear the converstion.

My advice:
Don't mud wrestle with swine;
Being younger/newer, if you say anything, say, "Thanks I may have to rethink that."
Don't take Big Time's comments personally;
Rethink Big Time's information and see if there is anything you can use;
Given that Big Time's delivery was very poor, discuss with your peers the gist, not the pist, of the information;
Share with this forum what that information was.
Experience and confidence will show you the way to reasonable, personal limits of toleration.

Hang in and hold on.
mick

Dang it Mick,
Good advice, I must say

just another ref · #6 (**permalink**) Sat Nov 22, 2003, 04:55pm

When someone makes a point to come up to you during a game for the sole purpose of criticizing you, no matter who it is, the shorter the discussion and the quicker you can get away from this person while still maintaining your dignity, the better off you are.

rainmaker · #7 (**permalink**) Sat Nov 22, 2003, 05:37pm

A) It's very possible that the college rules are different from the high school rules, and it might not hurt to point that out politely.

B) You can turn the thing over to your partner by saying something like, "John, do you think that is how our rule reads?"

C) Someone at his school who is his supervisor should know that he's abusing refs at half-time, and not being an appropriate administrator.

D) If you have the chutzpah to pull it off, you can turn it back on him by saying something like, "Mr. Smith, when you were a new ref and someone was being critical to you, what did you do?"

E) The only time a nay-sayer tried to tell me he'd "reffed for so-and-so for 30 years" and duh duh duh, turned out he'd NEVER reffed, and wasn't even old enough to have done anything for 30 years.

F) What Mick said.

JRutledge · #8 (**permalink**) Sun Nov 23, 2003, 02:45am

Just chalk it up to experience and move on. If you do this long enough, you will have more confrontations that you will not know what to do. You did the best you could, there is no magic formula to handle all situations. Be nice and talk to other officials, you might find out that he is lying and is not what he says he is. Then you might realize that other officials have little or no respect of this official, even when he is a college official. All a college official is in real life, is someone that got assigned college games, not necessarily a better official. Unless this guy is doing D1, who cares that he does college.

Peace

Jay R · #9 (**permalink**) Sun Nov 23, 2003, 07:09am

Lots of good comments.

You mention the school official came into the hospitality room at halftime. Did you not have a referees room? Or is that that what you meant? I try to avoid hospitality rooms when I do officiate a tournament.

Dan_ref · #10 (**permalink**) Sun Nov 23, 2003, 11:43am

Quote:

Originally posted by KingTripleJump
...But at halftime, he comes into the hospitality room to question my calling of the carrying the ball calls. At first, he is cool about it, and then he starts giving me lip.

Here's the moral of the story: don't discuss your calls with anyone except your partner or someone who is there to evaluate your performance. Period. Be nice about it if you can but short circuit & disengage immediately.

Quote:

... he asks me if I know who he is.

That goes double for these types.

BTW, it's been my experience that being a "big time official" (whatever that means) is a lot like being in the mafia. If you're talking about it then you aint really in the club.

mick · #11 (**permalink**) Sun Nov 23, 2003, 11:52am

Quote:

Originally posted by Dan_ref

BTW, it's been my experience that being a "big time official" (whatever that means) is a lot like being in the mafia. If you're talking about it then you aint really in the club.

Big YU.P.!
Good one, Sparky!

KingTripleJump · #12 (**permalink**) Mon Nov 24, 2003, 11:50pm

Sorry guys...I had one day of rest (Sunday) after officiating two tourneys last weekend and then had games tonight and some tomorrow. Couple that with studying for finals and you have me going crazy!

Anywho--the argument he was trying to make was that the carrying the ball calls I was making was wrong. I told him that if she brings the ball to rest in her palm on her hip, that is a carry. (Keep in mind I'm saying all my stuff with a smile and giggle cause I think this man is just trying to inform/educate...not repremand.) So he asks me "if I bring the ball to rest in my palm when I stop dribbling, what is that?" I then tell him those are two different scenarios. Then he keeps saying you're not answering my question. This goes on for a good 5 minutes and then my parter steps in to defend me (yay!) and he goes bazerk on my parter, who in turn gets upset and let it show the 2nd half of the game.

**Thanks for all the comments. I'm really tired--tonight Boys 9th was really, really, really boring. Both teams weren't good at all. Also tonight, Boys Varsity. Went down to the wire, although it shouldn't have.

cowbyfan1 · #13 (**permalink**) Tue Nov 25, 2003, 04:11am

Sounds to me like this guy is seriously stuck on his over inflated self and that he should be calling championship games every year when in reality he MAY have had a couple playoff games and work nothing but JUCO intermeral ball.. Last time I checked there is more than one way to "carry". Obvious he does not realize it.

AK ref SE · #14 (**permalink**) Tue Nov 25, 2003, 02:51pm

Maybe It was his kid that you were calling the carry on all the time and he was trying to intimidate you into not calling it.
I agree with what Mick and Dan said also!
The college officials that I have come in contact with take a more instructional approach. Someone like this is more afraid of his/her own game calling, and wants to try and keep people down.

AK ref SE