humor help needed

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by A Pennsylvania Coach
I just got a call from the founder of our company, making a Hall of Fame speech in a couple of days, looking for sports-related humor. Anecdotes, one-liners, etc. Bball, football, and baseball. Anybody have anything to share or any resources to provide? Thanks in advance.

Coach, I'd really like to help you out. But I never talk to anyone anymore except refs, (and my family but they don't think sports are funny!). How would I know what anyone else thinks is funny?

Here's a great joke, which is probably true, but I doubt anyone but refs in Portland, Oregon or the NBA would get it.

At our PBOA banquet, a manager-type person from the Blazers came to give a little talk. He started off by saying somethig about how he never had to talk to refs so he wasn't sure what to say, so he asked different people in the organization what he should say. When Rasheed Wallace was asked how to talk to the refs, he replied, "You just put your head down like this and keep saying, "No comment. No comment."