humor help needed

[TriggerMN]

Former NC State genius Chris Washburn said he could shoot equalywell with either his right or his left hand--he said he was amphibious.

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by TriggerMN
he said he was amphibious.

Is that like Mike Tyson fading away into bolivian?

[gsf23]

"Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win."
- Doug Collins, basketball commentator

"I want to gain 1500 or 2000 yards, whichever comes first."
- George Rogers, New Orleans Saints running back

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot." (1996)


Story
A man, who was an average golfer, was on the 11th tee at Augusta. He promptly shanks a shot into the trees. Upon discovering his ball, he found it to be next to a witch.

The witch was stirring a pot of golfer's brew. The gentleman asked the witch what the brew was for. The witch responded that the brew would do two things; first he would become the best golfer in the world and secondly his sex life would go to hell. And like most golfers I know, he choose the brew and better golf.

A year goes by and the man has won every major championship and is world renowned for his golf game. But, upon arriving at the 11th tee at Augusta, he hits a shot in the same woods where he reunits with the witch.

The witch remembers him and asks, "How's your golf game?" He responds, "Fantastic!" Then she says, "How's your sex life?" He responds, "Not bad..."

The witch says "Not Bad? What do you mean not bad??" The man says "Twice last year." The witch says "Most people think twice in a year is terrible."

The man answers "Well it's not bad for a priest in a small parrish."