I'm just looking for an opinion.

I was lucky enough to ref some Pro-Am games this summer and got to chat with a current NBA offical. He stated that if a team member or coach wants to talk with them (the officals) they(the Coach or Players) must address them by name. The use of "stripes", "blue", "Ref" is not acknowledged.

So here's where I need opinions, I work mainly H.S. Mens and Women's ball. Do you think it would be out of line of me to ask the same of the Coaches at this level????

(I wouldn't expect the player to do it only because there are more than I can count.)

In the NBA there are, what, 50 refs? Whatever the number, it's enough that all the coaches know all of the refs by name (many teams actually have a coach or assistant who tracks officials). When the coaches know your name it is a sign of disrespect to call you "ref." At the high school level, however, you're lucky if the coach remembers your name from the introductions - "ref" is acceptable in these circumstances.

I agree--nothing wrong with ref. I do find though i am more reseptive to players that call me sir--

I've got no problem being addressed as ref, stripes, or even blue (apparently some coaches are color blind).

Like has already been said NBA officials are few in number, and most have been around as long or longer than many coaches and players. You likely know many of their names when you see them on the tube as well. They also wear numbers on the back of their uniforms to identify them.

I remember one of the first times a coach addressed me by name, it kind of took me off guard. One of the assistant coaches at this school is also an official and he and I had worked together about 2 weeks prior. But when the head coached yelled my name across the gym to show his displeasure with my call-selection, I wasnt' sure what to do with it. My wife happend to be at the game, and she thought it was unneccessary for him to do so. I still don't have an opinion about it.

I don't know?
 

I tend to get a little cheesed off, and less receptive when players call me sir.

Let's add a twist.
 

Let's assume both coaches call me "Mick" when they want my attention. At captains' meeting I introduce myself as "Mick". To a new coach I introduce myself as "Mick". In a crowd and noise I can hear "Mick".

I, however, call both coaches "Coach" while I am working for them, likewise I call #15: "Number 15" or "Fifteen", eventhough I have known the kid since minor Little League.

I don't mind them being familiar with me, but I am most uncomfortable being that way toward the participants.

Dunno.
mick

I work mostly subvarsity games where we always get called ref or whatever. I made a mistake one time and left my pay slip out on the scorers table where the coach saw it. He just used my name the whole game, he would say john, that was a walk, john that was a foul, I really got tired of it, I would rather they call me ref after that.

My very first "real" game was freshman girls. Mind you, I had only done 5 JH rec league games before this, so I was quite green. One coach called me by name the entire first half. "Julie, that was a travel!" "Julie, didn't you see that contact?" "Why aren't you calling that, Julie?" He even said it wrong like that with only one u. At least it felt wrong to me. I had no idea what to do. It didn't seem to be a T type of thing, but it didn't feel particularly respectful, either. I just ignored him completely. By the end of the game he had wound clear down and wasn't yelling anymore at all.

Later, I talked to my class teacher about it. He said, "You managed to get Mr Abcd (full name) to stop yelling at you?! None of us has managed that!"

I still feel more comfortable with "Ref", though.

I prefer to be called ref. I am a ref and am proud to be a ref.
In some cases I ref schools where I know the coach very well. They still call me ref and I call them coach. Their players know me by last name but it is obvious their coach has told them to call me ref during the game and not by my last name. It helps us remember our roles and if there are any disagreements or issues during the game it stays at the game and does not carry over to the next time I see them is a social situation.

--some of the refs in my association prefer to be called Mr. Referee, when I am with them that is what I go by.

However they wish to address me on the court is fine with me as long as it is respectful.
Since our area has a limited number of schools we get to know the coaches and some players. They often address me by name when requesting a TO or asking a question. Of course, the ones that have had me work their games enough to know my name also know not to call the game if they want to see how it ends.
I would never put up with a coach yelling for calls. First time, he gets a warning, after that it's a T.
When faced with those coaches who tell you that was a foul, that was a travel, can't you see that, etc., I advise you do the same thing.
Another piece of advice that I have heard is not to use the name of one coach, while addressing the other as coach. For instance if you know one coach, but not the other. This often happens when local schools play out-of-town teams. This gives the perception of an unfair personal relationship with one side.

I do not respond to any coach or player who calls me by my name. I only respond to "ref", just as I don't call a player or coach by name.

Just my opinion, obviously, but if I know the coaches, then I don't mind being called by my first name. My HS "board" works a fairly limited area and so I know most all of the boys coaches, and they all know me. I get along well with almost all of them. It seems unnecessarily artificial for them to call me "sir" or "ref". Also, in a HS game, if I know both coaches, I don't mind addressing them by name either. We all know each other, and we all know that I'm not giving Coach A a break by calling him "Billy". If we get a team from out of the area, then I will not be familiar with the local coach, b/c I think that would give a bad impression.

On the other hand, it does bother me when I walk into a college gym for the first time and the coach starts yelling at me, using my name. I don't like it, but that's what happens.

LOL! You are now officially a member of the Krazy Krew.

I always introduce myself to the coaches with my full name, it can be difficult to have them only call me by my last name or call me sir. I also know many coaches that have had me on their games for years, so calling me by my frist name is common. The only problem I might have is with the players. The better call me Mr. Rutledge, sir or ref. They are not on my level and they have no business refering to adults by their first name. They should not call their teachers by their first name, nor would they call their coach by their first name and as an official I am on a higher level of authority when that game is going on. But when coaches refer to me by my first name, not much I can do about it, nor should I do much about it in my opinion. As long as they do not call me out of my name, I have no problem with that. They are adults, I do not want to treat them as less than that.

Peace

Yesss.. finally..