What do YOU do?
 

I teed up another coach in the middle school game last night, mind you the vast majority of my schedule is HS varsity assignments. And I have only called one technical foul on a coach at the Varsity level, but at the middle school level which I do probably say 25 games a year I have already T'ed up 3 coaches and 2 players.

This is year 18 for me, last year I worked 5 state playoff assignments. I am on my board's executive committee.

That gives you some background. I would rather not call technical fouls but when a coach displays unsportsmanlike conduct, whether it be continually telling me that I'm missing foul calls or walks and such, I wouldn't take that from a player and I don't take it from the coach. Therefore technical fouls have been called I'm thinking about 6 or 7 so far this year.

Do coaches in your area yell and scream at you, telling you about how many fouls you have missed and how you're missing walks and illegal screens? Do you call technical fouls for unsportsmanlike conduct when a coach does that?

This has been my best season in a long time for coach behavior. Even the coach that is a thorn in my side with comments on every call was exceedingly pleasant when I had his game a few weeks ago. There are still occasional comments, begging for this or that. But, I've had very little, if any, yelling and screaming, and don't think we should allow it. It's just not appropriate behavior for a high school activity. I always prefer conversation to solve the problem, but when it doesn't work, yes, I address appropriately with a T.

The only one I've had this year was also a MS game. When the conversation ended with "then call it both ways!" the coach found himself coaching from the bench from the middle of the first quarter through the rest of the game. To his credit, he apologized after the game.

I've issued 7 books warnings for HC behavior. Six of them were no problem afterwards, the other one received a T from one of my partners later in the game.

I do not think I have called a T yet this season at the HS level.

I do not like technical fouls, but they happen. I have had a few unusual incidents this year where I was "written up" by a coach for things that happen with technical fouls or ejections more than I ever had over my career.

I am also a two-time state final official, clinician for basketball and work some of the top tournaments in the area and I get yelled at like I was a rookie in many cases.

I think the problem the way I see it, that coaches and players really do not seem to understand their role in high school sports. They seem to think the behavior that happens in the pro ranks is acceptable. They think they can talk to us any kind of way. They say ridiculous statements that clearly are out of bounds and only suggest our reaction is either being sensitive or unprofessional if we simply draw a line in the sand, which might be because we gave then a technical foul.

I just heard a press conference with Doc Rivers (Coach of the Clippers) that suggested that he was given a T that was unwarranted in his mind because he did not curse or did not use inappropriate language. I did not realize the only reason you get a T was that they curse, but that is was his comment. I think coaches at the high school level are convinced they and say damn near anything and we are just to accept it. But what is ironic, get mad when we talk directly back to them about their comments or give a straight answer.

This to me is the overall problem. We are held to an unrealistic standard and they are expecting to do whatever if in their mind they have a legitimate beef about a call or situation they might not even know what the official saw.

Peace

I agree with Raymond's view. I have issued 4 book warnings and only one ended up with a T (by another partner). 3 player Ts and all were easy no brainers.

Most times I think the middle school problem comes when an experienced official gets assigned and those coaches are used to sometimes the newbies and think all officials allow that behavior.

THIS! Nail on the head! Good Post JRutledge. I would ask why you don't like Ts...It's a tool at our disposal and sometimes the only tool that works on some knuckleheads.

Being a guy that coaches youth teams (This year I have 5th grade boys travel) and one who officiates, I like to think I have a keen understanding of both sides. Most guys at the lower levels do not know their role. That's not to say there are not some really good coaches out there but if you are focused on the ref more than your kids...you're doing it all wrong! I rarely say anything to the refs unless its guys/gals I have called games with and it's all in fun :p

I had a middle school coach last week who I admit, I probably let speak too long before I dropped my first (of this year) Official Warning on him. As SOON as I turned to go back to position, he says "Then call the game right" so I T'd him immediately.

After the FTs he's still standing in the box and I inform him he will need to sit down and he says "Who are you talking to?" I informed him again he has lost the coaching box and would have to sit...he replies with "You can't make me sit"...I simply told him if he didn't know or understand the rule it was not my issue and I asked him one more time to have a seat to which he had some more comments and thus he watched the rest of the game from the locker room.

I don't get why a Coach doesn't take into consideration that he is representing their school/community/players/parents and their on display for all to see.

Amen.

A few do. I don't tolerate it. My first technical foul to a coach this season was for that very reason. He's giving the "illegal use of hands" mechanic and screaming "THAT'S A FOUL. CALL THE FOUL!!!!" (in my ear) at my partner all the way across the floor at the C as we transitioned up the floor.

whistle....stick....report....moved away...FTs

Much much smoother game after he got the invisible seat belt.

In sub-varsity, I take absolutely nothing and I make sure my partners don't either. These kids are 13, 14, 15 years old, no one's scholarship is on the line, and yet you still have those JV coaches who think they're Bobby Knight and think they can behave like that because they're wearing a polo with the school's logo on it and holding a clipboard. Had a coach in a JV game last night yell out "TRAVEL" in the first quarter. I wanted to warn him, but my partner got there first.

In varsity, the coaches are generally a lot more knowledgeable about the rules and the game, so their questions are often more valid and they get more leeway.

I actually had a game a couple weeks ago where I knew one of the coaches was going to be a problem. She always is. On the drive there I told myself I wasn't driving an hour each way to take shit from someone half my height and twice my age. The first toe she put out of line, she got warned.

For some background, I'm only 25 and by far the youngest official in our area who gets varsity assignments. I have to be a little bit more of a dick to gain respect.

Here is our problem...
 

I couldn't disagree with this statement more. What you - and several others - fail to recognize is that we are in the customer service business. I am not suggesting that we bend over and let coaches/players verbally abuse us, but it's our interpersonal skills that get us ahead.

Be the bigger person. DE-escalate the situation. Use the tools at your disposal (informal and formal warnings). If it's personal, it's a T. If it's public, it's a T.

But 'being a dick' is not going to get you any respect. From coaches...or from partners.

So coaches are not in the people business? Because you can yell and scream at your youth players, does not give you the license to be disrespectful to me as a grown ass man because you do not like a call. I have a right to be talked to a certain way. I have enough sense to know that if I talk to a judge a certain way there are consequences. I know that if I talk to a police officer a certain way I will have to deal with those consequences. You do not want an official to be a dick, then be respectful to that person doing their job. We are not fighting coaches, we are giving them a penalty that if we follow the rules we can use much more for any questioning of our judgment. Clearly, we do not penalize coaches to that extent.

Peace

Agreed
 

Jeff, I wholeheartedly agree with you. The comment that I quoted came from an individual that stated his age - which tells me he's been working varsity ball for at most, 7 years.

All I was trying to say is that a little maturity goes a long way - and that goes both ways, without a doubt.

Sometimes it does. Or sometimes it gets the coach to stop talking to you, which isn't a bad thing.

If the coach is someone who is always a d!ck every game, then at some point diplomacy turns to "treat them as they treat you".

I actually agree with being mature. But I think the problem is that coaches and players put us in a bad spot. They can say all kinds of things about this official who might look young and then get upset when he addresses it.

Peace

Last night had a game with two coaches that have reputations as being very chatty..three minutes into the game, my partner and I called both coaches to the table and gave each of them a book warning and they were fine the rest of the game.

Thoughts on giving book warnings as early as possible or be patient?

I meant being a dick in the context of the game. It's not like I refuse to shake a coach's hand before a game. Sheesh.

If I'm working a game with two 20-year vets, who's gonna get picked on by the coach?

Had a game this week, varsity boys, where the visiting bench had a comment each time by. It was four or so minutes into the first half and the bench had a comment about the crews no call on the other end. Whistle, “Official warning for the red team, unsporting behavior from the bench.”

Coach snaps. Starts yelling how embarrassing this is and that they are a Lutheran school. Not exactly sure why that mattered. Proceeded to follow me to the end line yelling the same things over and over again. Whack!

The rest of the game went great. He coaches his team, we had running clock, the other coach was also much more pleasant, it was a great game.

And before a couple of you get all worked up, we asked him to ask respectful questions and to manage his bench before any of these events. All in the first five minutes.......good times.

Like others have said, it is a tool for us to use to better the game. I treat it like any other foul and I truly believe that. There is marginal contact and there is contact that draws a foul. There are comments/behaviors that don’t cross the line, and ones that do. Both have consequences.

A lot of other officials say to be empathetic to coaches and players since they put so much time and effort into their sport. That’s great and all, but you will treat officials with respect.

Agreed wholeheartedly. If we, as officials, continually work on our professionalism, interpersonal skills and game management, then there's absolutely no reason not to expect coaches to be doing the same. If for no other reason, they are full-time paid professionals. I know how these guys/gals interact in the hallways and classrooms and break rooms with their students and colleagues. Extremely courteous and professional.

That should flow right down the hallway and into the gymnasium on game nights.

Settle down!

Giving warnings for coaches yelling "travel"? Wow!!!!!!!

I don't know any fellow officials that gain respect by being a dick. I would guess they are laughing at you and your over the top authority behind your back. I don't know how your assignor feels, but they might start to get tired of your act as well. Maybe you have a shortage of officials in your area and they are forced to hire you and put up with you being a dick?

Spot on! Some guys have "little man" disease and some love the implied power and authority that officiating gets them.

What I've learned from this website is that while we are a fraternity, how things are done, handled, assigned, dealt with, etc. etc. varies so much across our country.

In my area, being a "dick" will get you fewer and fewer games and LESS respect from everybody.

So you are supporting this guy being a dick?

There is being a dick and there is being a good official that can deal with things while not being a dick. Two very different methods in my opinion.

I do not agree that giving Ts and warnings makes you a dick. That's handling business. Since this guy said he needs to act like a dick to get respect, that tells me a lot about the guy's ego and officiating ability.

Apparently you can't handle being picked on and go the path of being a self described dick.

Maybe that's acceptable in your area? Maybe people are fine with how you act in your area?

Or maybe there are a lot of d!ck coaches where he works. I've come across quite a few. And sometimes being an a-hole back to them is the only way they get the message. And when a coach is having a private conversation with me, and is talking to me in a a-holish tone, he is going to get a d!ckhead response. Not really concerned what folks in Cumbaya-land think about it.

Say it louder for the people in the back.

The past couple years I worked games with several partners, respected officials in this area, who told me I let too much from coaches/players go. Clearly that was something that needed to change this year if I want to grow as an official.

My motto with the warning (which I have been doing for years glad it is official now) is to use it if you think that it can prevent a technical foul. If you are using it just thinking that you will T them up later in the game don't delay.

I am supporting any official taking a stand of how they are treated. Yes, some things come with the territory, but total disrespect does not or does not have to be tolerated. Heck, some people think you are being a dick by just enforcing rules. So I really do not care what they call it, but you have a right to draw a clear line in the stand. They may not like it, but they will have to deal with it.

I do not put much stock in a group of people that have control over just about everything else in their arena but think they can somehow control us as officials. So if they think we are a dick because we tell them to stay in the coaching box, then I will be a dick.

Peace

Exactly!!!!!

Peace

All these threads remind me of George Carlin's routine on speeders (Idiots!) and slow-pokes (Morons!).

It can be summarized as "I handle coaches perfectly well. If you take more than I do, you're a pu**y. If you warn / whack earlier, you're a dick."

There's nothing wrong with opining on a particular situation ("as described, I would ...."), but I just don't get the name calling that follows for those who have a different opinion -- and I especially don't get it when it gets repeated.

+1

"What you - and several others - fail to recognize is that we are in the customer service business."

Nope. I am not in the customer service business, nor is the "customer" always right. I am a referee, the neutral third party in the triangle of interscholastic competition.

What's more, there are many coaches in my area who have been at their schools 20, 30 years or longer. They have a very "mmmm fresh meat" mentality when they see an official they haven't seen very often, regardless of experience. I'm never going to give a coach an indication that he can take advantage of me just because I'm working with two other guys he's been seeing for years.

Several of them also simply believe that we're out there to screw them over every single time and they treat us as such. I'm not saying I go out there with a vendetta, but as officials it's our responsibility to know who these problem coaches are and nip behavior like that in the bud so we can do our jobs. We've even had a couple coaches who would openly trash officiating on social media following losses.

So yeah, sometimes "being the bigger person" just isn't the most practical solution. I don't do this "for the kids", I don't do this for the coaches, I don't even do this for the money. I do it cause I love the game more than anything, and if I see behavior that's disrespectful to the game (and shouting "TRAVEL" from the bench qualifies) I'll address it. Really that simple.

This is all well and good until you run into a coach with whom being a dick right back at him is the only way to get your point across.

What's the point of calling them to the table? You're not explaining a complicated ruling, you're giving a warning.
We get it, you don't call technical fouls and think you are the gift from the game management gods.

I'd rather work with a partner who I know will handle business than someone like you who (I can only assume based on your posting history) will let the coaches bitch and moan until someone else cleans up your mess for you.

Apparently so will calling technical fouls, something you haven't done in what, 10 years?

A-freaking-men. If I was in this business (and yes, refereeing is partially a business) to please people, I would never whack coaches, just like SD Referee (and maybe Matt S.?).

Coaches (along with ADs and other administrators and fans) are not my customers.

This is not a customer service business. Do your job, penalize unsporting behavior, and stop making every excuse in the book for not doing so.

There is a difference in taking care of business and being a dick. The poster self described himself as such and was proud of it. To each his own.

As I said before, it sounds like you guys deal with way more problems in your areas of the world. Maybe it's better players with more on the line, thus getting the coaches more fired up. Maybe it's coaches that think they are better than they are. Maybe it's............I don't know what.

I have a style that has worked for me and I have received plenty of big games and postseason work. Apparently what I am doing is perfect for my area of the world. To T or not to T does not define your ability as a referee. I am far from a god of management, but what I do works in my area of the world. It's a style that far more accomplished officials have used as well. Maybe my first coach T is coming someday. Maybe not. I couldn't care less. SOME of you care far more about it than I do. You use it to measure the ability and greatness of an official. I couldn't care less what you think of that.

Sounds like you guys have to hand out Ts like they are candy in your areas. If that's what it takes, then so be it. That's NOT what it takes in my area of the world.

We are all different people. If he wants to describe himself as being a dick, not only is that his right, it might work for the people that he is around. I know I work games in multiple cultural situations (suburbs, rural areas, and urban areas) and sometimes you have to be a dick or you will get run over. And I mean run over as you will be dealing with coaches and players on every play if you do not essentially "put them in their place." They will constantly complain until they realize that is not what you will accept on every play. And funny when you do this, they stop complaining. And they might walk away thinking you are a dick, but guess what, I got what I wanted to accomplish. I am sure that style works for me and him the same.

To me your position is just like when people say, "We do this for the kids" and a roll my eyes out of my head when I hear that mess.

Peace

Thanks everybody for all the great replies. I have learned so much from this group over the years.

I think it's rare that I've used a technical foul and it has been effective the way that I wanted it to be. But it did happen last week in the boys varsity game that I called the T on the head coach. He went from constantly criticizing the officiating and being down by 12 points to coaching and being up by 11 points at the buzzer.

I coached for 11 years and I got my share of technical fouls for unsportsmanlike behavior. Well deserved. So I understand where they are coming from. And now after 18 years and learning effective use of the technical foul. sometimes it can shape the game you're in and sometimes you just need to use it so that you can get your game completed.

I don't care what coaches think of me. I do care when their conduct interferes with the flow of the game and with my ability to do my job.

Usually, when I issue a coach a T or official warning, he/she calms down and coaches--not always, but most of the time--and I comment to my partners how much easier it is when coaches leave us alone to referee.

If you continue to carry biases such as these, it will not serve you well.

You are wise. That is why I said to each his own.

Damn straight. I'm pretty sure we all have/have had day jobs that involve customer interaction which require eating crow from time to time. This job isn't one of them. Coach wants to scream at me because he's down 30-points? He can do it outside the gym.

Now, as another young varsity referee (people think I'm 18, daily) I understand exactly what that guy is saying. We draw the ire of every coach so they can get a call or mess with our heads. And you have to show a little backbone or else that's all you get night after night; nothing but BS and adults acting as if they're 3 year olds. I might not agree with "be a dick", but it's better than just pretending everything is alright.

I expect to go to work call my game and go home. I don't expect to go to work and get yelled at the entire time from some guy or girl that has not ever read a rules manual. I have no problem talking to a coach about a play and I always give them a warning before they get the T but it is ridiculous to expect me to deal with it and it is one of the main reasons we are losing referees at a rapid pace.

I will say that female coaches are far worse then men btw. It has nothing to do with me not respecting women or any BS like that. They just seem to be more vocal and nit pick.

I had a bench warning 20 seconds into my game last Saturday. First call of the game and the coach was yelling at my partner from the other end of the floor. All was fine after that.

I woke up this year before the season started and said to myself "I am sick of having to tread adults like children and not having enough colleagues that address crappy behavior" so I quit. After 15 years, not having to schlep out to a gym in winter to deal with crap attitudes, and I thought I would miss it, but haven't given it a second thought.

Behavior changes if it is addressed consistently all the time. If it's not then it doesn't change.

I only do at most 1-2 GV games a year nowadays, but that was my observation also when I used to regularly work girls games. I'm a big guy (6' 5"/260) and I rarely have male coaches who will try to deal with me in a hostile or combative manner. I'm guessing in a female coach's eyes, I'm no more physically imposing than the men they've had to deal with all their lives.

Part of my pregame discussions always include what to expect with regard to the coaches' behavior and how we are going to deal with it. Coaches who repeatedly act like jackasses aren't going to get any benefit of the doubt from me.