Handling this coach:
 

I have been quick to pull the trigger whacking coaches in the past, so I'm trying to reign that in a bit to be more approachable this year. This is the situation.

VG Tuesday night. A1 is on the top block during B's free throw and gets the rebound twice on missed FTs. Coach B is going crazy saying she can't do that, she's leaving early. I was T on both of these, so I just tell him she's fine to leave as soon as the ball leaves shooter's hand and he says it's a new rule that just came out. I think he was confused with the semi-circle rule? No idea what he was talking about. I told him again, no coach- she can leave when it leaves the shooter's hand. He keeps going on and on and is yelling, even takes a timeout to ask the crew about it. R goes over to him and thinks he's talking about coming from outside the 3 pt line (that's how succinct this coach was), and tells him that she cannot enter until ball hits rim. So now the guys starts giving it to me every time up and down the court. We talked at half, and none of us were 100% sure what his problem was and exactly what he thought happened. Tried to find game tape, but can't find it anywhere. First time working with partners, and they were both good officials, but I felt like it was easy to tell we didn't know each other's habits and tendencies, and this was definitely a situation that made me a little uncomfortable because I didn't know either well enough to know if I should get in there with the coach and them when they talked to him during the TO. I chose to avoid him because he was frustrating me. It was not my partner's fault at all, I just want to reiterate that.

My question is how much are you going to take from this coach because of a mistake on your partner's part and/or miscommunication? I told him it was over and we were done and he kept going on and on every time down the court. This happened 3-4 times back down the court. A much younger (read: 1 year) me would have whacked him right away, but I understood his frustration because of the miscommunication or mistake, or whatever the #$% it was.

I was glad I didn't whack him in the end because he was fine the rest of the game and his team got blown out, but it is one that I sort of regret not whacking for being such a prick about it.

I'm also looking for feedback of how I could have better handled this situation overall, what you would have done differently, etc. Thanks, in advance-- I really appreciate all of the help I've gotten on this forum over the past year.

address the problem
 

From what I'm reading, you never really addressed the problem.

I would have asked him something to the effect of, 'coach, what are you seeing?' Then, using your mastery of the rulebook, explain that the restrictions are different for players on the lane lines vs. the shooter and those not on the lane.

If he cannot understand or appreciate the rule and your knowledge of it, then you have three choices: ignore his ignorance, warn, or whack. If he's yelling across the court or being demonstrative, it's one of the latter two.

You first have to establish that you are both talking about the same set of facts, (ie which player did what). I think it would have been good in this particular case for you to be part of the timeout conversation just to make sure his "facts" didn't change. If he is arguing that a defender in a lined space has to wait until the "hit" then I can see why you would be taken aback, because that's crazy.

Ask him what he thinks is going on, then a quick explanation what the rule is and lets move on. After that HTBT

Once I've told him it's over and time to move on, if he continues to harp on that same situation, I don't hesitate to whack him. He's been warned. He chose to ignore. He suffers the consequence. I'm also telling my partners once I've told him it's time to stop, so that if he starts in on them, they can whack him as well. We're a team out there, and once I've warned a coach about something, I expect my partners to back me up, just as they expect the same from me. Coach gets 1 warning about a given situation, not 3.

The ones you even sort of regret are usually the ones you should have whacked.

If you're going to address it, do it yourself and do it early. Your partner never should have got involved on explaining a play or ruling that you were involved with. Second, when addressing it, I love asking what the coach saw, then you can address the actual issue instead of guessing.

Now, once it got to the point I quoted above, I deal with it quick. "Coach, we're not going to agree on this, it's time to move on."

After that, no quarter.

Communication is definitely the weakest part of my game. Thanks for the input, I appreciate it. Sounds like I should have asked him first what he saw. It was tough during live play to do that, as I wanted to give him a quick answer but I should have been present during the timeout. Thanks again.

If it was an older coach, he may remember the dotted line that was the lane semi-circle that joined the said line that is now the semi-circle the players cannot enter. Virginia even got a memo for VHSL that this was NOT the new rule. DUH:eek:

First of all, I think its great that you are having a moment of self reflection and acknowledging what you can do better and this is a great use of the forum.

I know for me in the heat of a game flow, its sometime really hard to understand what a coach is asking about and 9x out of 10, I probably don't really get the full extent of what they are trying to ask because they are trying to spew it out as quickly as I am trying to listen to it. In your case, where the coach called a timeout to specifically discuss it, I think it really warrants taking a deep breath, slowing everything down, and making sure you hear the ins and outs of his concerns. Then like others have said, use the rule book to explain. But taking that pause and slowing things down, to me helps.

In fact, I have found that officiating has really helped to slow me down in my professional 8 to 5 job. Its allowed me to really see things from different viewpoints.

Hope this helps.

This was my mistake for a long time. I am a talker live ball is not the time.

Say something like I will come talk to you. Hold on coach for a TO. Just acknowledge it. I normally use 2 shot FT to go over and say coach what is your question or what did you see. Then say I will come back and answer you when I can.

It has helped my game so much.

If he starts screaming I raise the hand and say stop. Most coaches at that point know whats coming if they continue to act like that.

Verbal Judo has not only changed my life but made refereeing much easier.

You cant find a better book.

If you dont want to buy it then one massive lesson.

Dodge comments and never react to them and you win every time!

Yup. I find myself hearing but not hearing more comments every season. 30 years in and I'm finally starting to see some progress. :D

Geez Rich that is a slow learning curve...haha

I have a low tolerance for a coach who harps on a rule the he is getting wrong. I explain the rule one time, then we are going to move on.

I am the same way. Had that with a coach this week who wanted to insist there was "no continuation in high school." I'm not getting into an argument or debate with a coach, especially if he's going to insist on being that wrong.

Working the wings in football has really helped me tune out the noise.