Technicals
 

I was working a high school aged spring tournament today and the teams were coached by dads. The tournament played halves instead of quarters, and about 5 minutes into the 2nd halve Coach A starts to show himself. His shooter goes up for a layup and misses it, and the coach starts yelling for a foul. The shooter then goes after the rebound and ends up wrapping his arm around a player for the other team that had rebounded the ball. Coach A starts yelling for a walk (the kid did, however it was because his player had his arm wrapped around the player and pulled him back). I report the foul and the coach is complaining that I missed the foul on the shooter then missed a walk. I tell him that the shot was clean and that his player ended up wrapping his arm into the player. He then tells me that I am wrong and that it is just a horrible call. I tell him that I have heard enough and to sit down. He then proceeds to tell me that I cannot make him sit down and that he is going to say what he wants to. It is at this point that I give him the first technical. He then goes and sits down as I am reporting the first technical, but then he stands back up and tells me that I am horrible. At this point I give him a second technical and eject him.

The assistant coach comes up to me after I report the second technical and ejection and proceeds to tell me that he will take over as acting coach. He then throws in that he is an official too and that I cannot tell the coach to sit down. He tells me that the coach is allowed to stand and I can only make him sit if I give him a technical. I proceed to tell him that I really do not care if he is an official or not, that I am the one officiating the game, and that I do not need his opinion. He then tells me that he was just wanting to help me out as I handled the situation wrong. I then tell him that I am not going to listen to him, and that he can join his head coach if he doesn't cut it out. He then walks away and goes back to his team.

So what are everyone's thoughts on this? Thanks.

Assuming your rule set is using the coaching box, the coach and assistant is right. Under NFHS rules, you have no authority to direct a coach to sit down unless he's been assessed a direct technical or indirect technical.

I think you need to re-read your post and tell us what you think in reflection.

Even Then, There Are Still A Few Occasions When These Coaches Can Still Legally Stand
 

Things Officials Should Probably Not Be Saying In A Game

Calvin Coolidge once said, "The things I did not say never hurt me." Of course, he was not talking about basketball, but many officials would be smart to heed his sage advice as they communicate with coaches, and players.

Good communication skills are important tools to have on any official’s tool belt. Good communication with a partner, with a player, or with a coach, can go a long way to maintaining control of the game, having good game management, and having a smooth game. Sometimes this communication takes place in oral form, talking to players, or coaches, in some cases to explain a ruling, or in other cases to prevent a violation, or a foul. However, probably for reasons of tradition, there have been things that officials often, or sometimes, say during a game that do not have any basis in the rules, and should probably not be said in a game. This article will cover some of those “best left unsaid” statements.

"Sit down", is occasionally stated by an official to a coach who is acting in an unsporting way, but who has not yet been charged with a technical foul, is not rule based. Back in the “olden days” of the “seatbelt rule”, this was a common method of dealing with coaches who have gone, or who are about to go, “over the line”. Now, with the coaching box, officials can only tell coaches to sit down after they have been charged with a direct technical foul, or an indirect technical foul, and even then, there are still a few occasions when these coaches can still legally stand up.

Finally, a thought by Will Rogers, “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”

Sounds to me like you were probably justified whacking the coach for his comments and behavior but you threw gas on the fire by telling him to sit down. As stated by others, there's no rules basis for that and it probably escalated the situation with the head coach.

Additionally, the assistant was correct and was likely really trying to help you...your response to him sounds a bit dickish as well. Not trying to be harsh, but in my opinion, I'd say you could have handled the entire scenario better and you would have come off a good bit more professional. This is a perfect example where specific rules knowledge could have helped you (assuming its NFHS rule set). If this coach were to complain to your assigner, he'd have a legitimate gripe.

I've never seen a reason to treat coaches like enemies. There's going to be calls they don't like and they will let you know about it. Maybe you're being melodramatic, but it sounds like the first coach already had a foot out the door when he started complaining. Given it took the coach so long to act out you may have missed the call.

Your attitude towards the AC was uncalled for, imo.

Ugh. Don't be so dramatic. It was poorly handled but an embarrassment to our avocation? That seems a bit of a reach.

+1.

No need to pile on, but you can't order a coach to sit. Much like you can't just order an unruly kid to leave the game to cool down.

You have got to be kidding. Asst coach, in the heat of the moment, telling the referee he handled it wrong was "really trying to help"? Hogwash. Among the *least* responsible things to ever come out of a coach's mouth during a game is "I'm a referee . . . ." While the Asst was right about the sit down comment, that doesn't mean he was really trying to help.

But to tankmjg24, take the advice to walk back through and figure out what you could have done differently. Think about more effective tools to end conversations without ratcheting up tension.

The rules have plenty of ways you can deal with this coach instead of having to MSU.

Exactly. Whack him and then tell him to sit down. :D

I've coached in youth leagues where I've also officiated, so this isn't really a far fetched scenario. I'm going to assume that he was being honest about actually being an official. Put yourself in the position of the assistant...you're taking over for a coach that has gotten tossed partly because a newbie kicked a rule and turned a simple T into a train wreck...would you say anything? I think I would. Not to be a dick...the official obviously has a low threshold at this point...but to maybe try to gain a little credibility with the official. I don't think the assistant was being irresponsible...in the end, he was correct.

OK, who on here takes it well when a coach says "I'm ref and . . ." ?!?! And take that coach more seriously after he says it?!?! Anyone? Anyone?

If you think, immediately after the head coach was tossed, the asst coach was trying to be helpful, I have some great ocean front property in North Dakota that I can give you a great deal on . . .

And I don't think our OP really "kicked a rule," so much as he was sloppy in how he talked to the coach. As I read the scenario, he was just trying to tell the coach the conversation was over, and did it poorly. The coach used it as an excuse to act like a toddler.

Bingo.

Oh, I take it great. Rarely do I ever get a comment which gives my the green light to say whatever is on my mind.

To answer a few questions, I am not sure what rule set we were technically playing by. The rules sheet on site did not specify, so we treated it like NFHS. The gym we were playing at was a college rec gym that did not have coaching boxes marked. The coach was for sure out of the box if there was one there, and I was trying to tell him to back off so I did not have to give the technical. Maybe I should have worded it differently, but he was pushing the max and was also screaming at me with an opposing player between us. I am not going to have a coach tell me what I cannot and can do, and for sure am not going to be told how horrible I am. The assistant was not trying to be helpful. You had to have been there to have a feel for the situation.

Sounds like you had way more reason to whack him than by enforcing the nonexistent coaching box. Personal, public, profane, or prolonged.

When the coach is teetering on a T I usually just say "I've heard enough" or "lets move on" - I have even used once or twice with coaches "another word on this and it's costing you 2 FT's" which is pretty direct. I try not to treat them like kids, even though they act like it often.

'was also screaming at me with an opposing player between us"

So, there's the problem, really.

"Knock it off." "That's enough."

Then whack him. No reason to not whack him there.

If I had a person say, "I'm a referee..." I'd stop him and ask why he isn't keeping the HC in check.

"You're horrible" = Wack. I'm never giving any sort of warning whatsoever for this behavior.

"screaming" at me = Most likely - Wack.

When a coach starts telling me what I can and can't do they've probably entered the realm of being a shitty coach. They don't get my attention anymore. To be fair, most coaches are pretty bad. Even at a high level I'm dumbfounded, often.

Dammit, there went my coffee all over my keyboard . . .

I'd suggest avoiding this. IMHO, you never want to back yourself in by saying what you will do, especially in the context of an ultimatum. YMMV.

It's fine to tell a coach a technical is closeby, but "one more word" puts you into a corner you really don't want to be in IMO.

I have no problem with an ultimatum. They continue I whack. It's also why when 99 out of 100 times I tell a coach I'm done they stop. They know I'm not afraid to T them.

To many officials spend all night warning and never do anything about it.

The last statement is true, but you don't need to frame a warning as an ultimatum to whack after a warning. IMHO, ultimatums often come across as insulting and are less likely to defuse the situation than a more measured "that's enough," "we're done coach," or even the simple stop sign. (How many of us remember grammar school teachers throwing silly ultimatums around? They often sound similar when they come from referees.) While you may get them to work for you, I think they are a very poor tool for learning referees to work on.

Thanks for sharing the story....funny to me.

I never tell a coach to sit down. After the HC approaches me, and I provide the explanation, I might say something like, "Coach, I've explained why I called it the way I did. It's time to drop it."

The AC had no business trying to help in this situation. Sounds like a newer official who's excited he knows some rules. He was "right," but his timing was horrible here. Now both of you have added gas to the fire. Even so, his reaction was more professional in the end since he's the one who actually walked away.

+1!!!

Bingo here as well. It's all in the presentation. You can tell a coach that the conversation is over and he either needs to sit down or go find someone else to talk to. He can take that advice or he can continue his banter and get whacked.

Little Miss Muffet ...
 

One can certainly tell a coach that the conversation is over. And one can certainly tell a coach to talk to someone else other than the official.

However, assuming that the coach has not earned a direct, or indirect, technical foul, and assuming that the coaching box rule is in effect (i.e., no seatbelt rule), "sit down" should never enter the conversation.

If needed, he can be "whacked" just as easily standing up as sitting down, and then he can be invited to take a seat on the bench, or if needed, to go sit on the bus with the bus driver.

Someone here showed me Verbal Judo. If you are having issues at least once a week with feelings of unhappiness with anyone at your games it is going to make you a much happier person/referee.

Every coach is going to fight for calls. IMO every coach falls into two categories.

He will respectfully ask you what you saw with appropriate questions and sometimes respectfully ask you to watch for some behavior.

Or he is going to treat you like poop.

Usually happens pretty early and I would avoid warning him all night.

When he makes a scene or tells you what really happens I say "coach stop".

Then chooses to escalate and get a cup a T or he understands you are not going to take it from him tonight and he coaches.

If he starts coaches you .. I like say.. Coach please coach your kids not me, if you have a respectful question or respectfully ask us to watch something we will discuss it and look for it.

We have all said things we shouldnt say to coaches. Can you learn from it. Can you forgive yourself and find a way that will make you both happier?

Yes these guys are great giving advice. You can practice all kinds of things.

At some point you have to trust yourself that you are trying to do a good job, enjoy the kids and your partners and ignore those who are bias. Get feedback from the right people and work on your game that will help you enjoy yourself and this great ad-vocation.

Last but not least... the calmer you are when you T a coach the more satisfying it is...

Take a deep breath server the T and walk away. Everyone there can see he deserved it. Stay away from his AC and the table.

I really appreciate you bringing your story here and I hope you learned a ton. PM if I can help and I highly suggest the book for not only handling coaches but every person who is a having a bad day in your life and you need to manage it.