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JRutledge Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:10am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dad (Post 973891)
That's fine. I'm more addressing the idea of respect from a personal view. If a player calls you by your first name it could very well be out of respect. Ideally this wouldn't happen to you since you introduce yourself as Mr.X. In the event that it does happen, I'd hope you'd show him/her respect when telling them you didn't want them calling you by your first name.

Actually I introduce my entire name, but thanks for playing. They still better not call me by my first name. And if a kid does not know how it is inappropriate, then they have bigger issues and someone is not teaching them how the world works. There are going to be a lot of situations in their lives where people are going to require them do to things they do not necessarily agree with and certainly when they are a kid. They are not equals with an adult. It is that simple.

Peace

Mark T. DeNucci, Sr. Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:19am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dad (Post 973931)
I'll be the R tonight, bud. Don't worry about it. :D


That was your first mistake, volunteering to be the R. The late Danny Doss always (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirley) said never (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirely) be the R.

MTD, Sr.

RedAndWhiteRef Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:21am

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRutledge (Post 973932)
Actually I introduce my entire name, but thanks for playing. They still better not call me by my first name. And if a kid does not know how it is inappropriate, then they have bigger issues and someone is not teaching them how the world works. There are going to be a lot of situations in their lives where people are going to require them do to things they do not necessarily agree with and certainly when they are a kid. They are not equals with an adult. It is that simple.

Peace

To each their own, but "Mr. RedAndWhiteRef" is my dad, who's also a ref. Sometimes I'll introduce my full name to coaches, but I don't have a system. Just whatever I feel like that day, or whatever my partners are doing.

Several coaches in my area take the time to remember the officials' names and I've been called by my first name many times by coaches. I appreciate that. It just sounds better than "ref" or "Mr. Official."

I also hate being called sir. It's just basketball, and I'm just one of the officials. I'm not a judge or a sworn officer of the law.

Dad Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:23am

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRutledge (Post 973932)
Actually I introduce my entire name, but thanks for playing. They still better not call me by my first name. And if a kid does not know how it is inappropriate, then they have bigger issues and someone is not teaching them how the world works. There are going to be a lot of situations in their lives where people are going to require them do to things they do not necessarily agree with and certainly when they are a kid. They are not equals with an adult. It is that simple.

Peace

Wow.

I'll continue to have players("Kids") real respect. You can live in the land of make-believe coercion.

Dad Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:24am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr. (Post 973934)
That was your first mistake, volunteering to be the R. The late Danny Doss always (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirley) said never (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirely) be the R.

MTD, Sr.

This joke went over my head. Mind spelling it out for me?

Rich Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:25am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr. (Post 973934)
That was your first mistake, volunteering to be the R. The late Danny Doss always (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirley) said never (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirely) be the R.

MTD, Sr.

Since this thread has already gone to hell, let's take it in another direction, Mr. DeNucci, Sr. :D

I work a lot with one official -- lately we've had a different third just about every night. And it's like clockwork -- at some point he'll say U2, I'll say U1, and the third will mumble an expletive. Heh heh.

Mark T. DeNucci, Sr. Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:26am

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedAndWhiteRef (Post 973935)
To each their own, but "Mr. RedAndWhiteRef" is my dad, who's also a ref. Sometimes I'll introduce my full name to coaches, but I don't have a system. Just whatever I feel like that day, or whatever my partners are doing.

Several coaches in my area take the time to remember the officials' names and I've been called by my first name many times by coaches. I appreciate that. It just sounds better than "ref" or "Mr. Official."

I also hate being called sir. It's just basketball, and I'm just one of the officials. I'm not a judge or a sworn officer of the law.


I have never liked being called by my first name by a coach. When one coach (who may be seeing you for the first time ever) hears you called by your first name by the other coach it can appear that you are friends and that cannot bode well in a hotly contested games.

Over the course of my college officiating career there were many coaches who I knew very well, well enough to be on a first name basis, but I never addressed them by their first name, I always addressed them as Coach, especially in games involving an opponent I had never seen before, and these coaches were smart (what a concept, a smart coach) to not address me by first names during the game.

MTD, Sr.

Rich Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:31am

I'm a baseball guy and baseball is a first name sport at the higher levels. There's an implied lack of respect or a lack of a clue when a coach calls you "Blue" or "Ump" or anything but your first name. Likewise, I always get and use first names of the coaches/managers. This is from the lower levels through the college level.

I get that there are mixed opinions about doing the same in football and basketball, but I've always, ALWAYS used first names in those sports and I haven't once seen a coach taken aback by it. And I'm happy when they remember and use my first name. To me it doesn't imply familiarity -- it implies they either did their homework (found out who we were) or paid attention when I introduced myself.

Of course a lot of this is generational and/or cultural.

JRutledge Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:31am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dad (Post 973936)
Wow.

I'll continue to have players("Kids") real respect. You can live in the land of make-believe coercion.

I love how you worry about what I am doing. I really do not care to have their respect other than how they address the officials.

But again you are one of those adults that I am talking about. You really seem to care what kids do or think towards you. I do not.

Peace

OKREF Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:36am

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRutledge (Post 973932)
Actually I introduce my entire name, but thanks for playing. They still better not call me by my first name. And if a kid does not know how it is inappropriate, then they have bigger issues and someone is not teaching them how the world works. There are going to be a lot of situations in their lives where people are going to require them do to things they do not necessarily agree with and certainly when they are a kid. They are not equals with an adult. It is that simple.

Peace

Mr. Rutledge. If you introduce yourself by your first and last name, aren't you opening it up for kids to call you by your first name?

Dad Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:41am

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRutledge (Post 973943)
I love how you worry about what I am doing. I really do not care to have their respect other than how they address the officials.

But again you are one of those adults that I am talking about. You really seem to care what kids do or think towards you. I do not.

Peace

When I say jump I want people to jump. As long as people do what I say, when I say it, and without pause, I really don't care what they call me.

RedAndWhiteRef Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:41am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr. (Post 973939)
I have never liked being called by my first name by a coach. When one coach (who may be seeing you for the first time ever) hears you called by your first name by the other coach it can appear that you are friends and that cannot bode well in a hotly contested games.

Over the course of my college officiating career there were many coaches who I knew very well, well enough to be on a first name basis, but I never addressed them by their first name, I always addressed them as Coach, especially in games involving an opponent I had never seen before, and these coaches were smart (what a concept, a smart coach) to not address me by first names during the game.

MTD, Sr.

I can understand this angle too. Perhaps my view comes from my background in the service industry, where it's a rare occurrence if someone actually calls me by name.

JRutledge Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:57am

Quote:

Originally Posted by OKREF (Post 973945)
Mr. Rutledge. If you introduce yourself by your first and last name, aren't you opening it up for kids to call you by your first name?

Then why have I never had a kid ever call me by my first name? They obviously have some training or being raised where that is not acceptable. ;)

Peace

Mark T. DeNucci, Sr. Thu Dec 24, 2015 12:35pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by OKREF (Post 973945)
Mr. Rutledge. If you introduce yourself by your first and last name, aren't you opening it up for kids to call you by your first name?

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRutledge (Post 973951)
Then why have I never had a kid ever call me by my first name? They obviously have some training or being raised where that is not acceptable. ;)

Peace


OKRef:

One never has too worry about having a player address you by your first name if you introduce yourself as Mr. Smith.

MTD, Sr.

Mark T. DeNucci, Sr. Thu Dec 24, 2015 12:37pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedAndWhiteRef (Post 973947)
I can understand this angle too. Perhaps my view comes from my background in the service industry, where it's a rare occurrence if someone actually calls me by name.


Actually, I don't care what they call me as long as they don't call me late for dinner! And I can't remember the last time I was called late for dinner! :p

MTD, Sr.


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