No one in my state realizes speaking captains isn't a thing anymore. Even if I'm the R my partners will either tell me who they discovered is the speaking captain or if I don't ask during the meeting they will interject and ask anyway. Drives me nuts.

That's your right. But I also have the right to let people call me whatever I want.

So you don't let kids do it now because you couldn't do it when you were their age? Makes sense.

I don't let kids call me by my first name either. And I don't let my minor children call adults by their first names. Is there a problem with that?

There's no problem with it. However, it is no longer the cultural norm.

Don't have a problem with you teaching your kids that. Not sure how you can expect/require other people's kids to not call you by your first name though. How exactly do you "not let kids call me by my first name" on the court?

Nope. As long as there's nothing wrong with me doing what I wish. To all my 10-year-old's friends, I'm Rich. To the 10U softball team I coach, I'm "Coach Rich".

You're not wrong and I'm not wrong. We're just different. On the court, you'd be Mr. BNR and I'd be Rich.

I've never believed in such formality and I think respect goes much deeper than what one calls another.

I never comment when someone says they get called by their first name, I couldn't care less. All the snarky remarks come when someone says they give their name as "Mr. ABCD".

Respect also comes in the form of not ridiculing someone's personal preferences.

I do find it weird, which is probably why I joke about it. I'll stop here, though.

1) HTF would a kid know my first name on the court?

2) If they did call me by my first name, I would say that's "Mr. ####" to you.

When I go to my kid's school, I don't call his teachers and principals Steve or Johnny, or Whitney. I address them as Mr. or Ms. Such-and-such. If we run into each other at a bar or the mall or where ever outside of a professional environment, then first names are expected.

It's really not that difficult.

You don't live in Virginia. People still call each other Sir and Ma'am on a regular basis if they are not personal acquaintances. And everywhere I travel in the South I make to sure to especially address older blacks by Sir or Ma'am in deference to all those years they were addressed disrespectfully as a matter of cultural norms.

Yikes.

That escalated quickly.

I don't even know we still have captain's meeting, to be honest. Don't do it in other sports like baseball. And I especially don't know why some (a decreasing number but still a sizable minority) of my partners still insist on asking who the 'speaking' captain is. What are they saying? It's not like they're calling the coin toss. And I don't remember their number 5 seconds later and I bet dollars to donuts my partner doesn't either. Never once have I heard a partner say to someone asking a question 'No, you can't ask me, you're not the speaking captain'. Utterly superfluous and useless.

But because we still have to do this charade, I try to keep mine short and simple. "Ok, you know your teammates better than I do, right? You know what they look like when they get mad or frustrated? If you can calm them down, it's so much better for everyone - keep us out of it as best you can. Alright - any questions? <have never had anyone ask a question at this point> Good luck".

And I'm in the 'not on a first name basis with 16 yr olds' camp as well. If I'm not the R and a partner does it, of course I'll mention it. But if I'm the R? Either nothing or Mr. XXX. No one is listening anyway, it doesn't matter.

It's done in sports with coin tosses for obvious reasons.