Parents Say The Darndest Things
 

I know we have posted similar things like this before but I am still chuckling over this from last night.

JV game, I'm BU. First batter of the game walks on 4 pitches, loud parent for the visitors (next to V dugout along 3B line) yells "way to make him work Danny!"

"Danny" promptly takes a sizable lead against the LHP. F1 fires a throw over that picks off Danny easily for the first out. Same parent yells....................wait for it........................wait for it........................

"CALL 'EM BOTH WAYS BLUE!!!"

Oh my gosh, I had to turn around I was laughing so hard!

:D

My partner and I had just finished an outstanding, well pitched 3 - 2 game. As we were leaving, the losing pitcher's mother screams, "Horrible job umpire. We couldn't see where you were pointing when the ball was fair, only the home team's fans could see where you were pointing?!?!?"

we couldn't even see where you were pointing...

that's a new one.

Perhaps mom should have moved to the other bleachers for a better view!:rolleyes:

oh...not the other bleachers...I'm sitting on MY team's side.

A few years ago, my partner and I were working our 5th game on a very hot day...a couple of guys were sick and two turned ankles...The UIC was a friend...no way would I have orked this many games in one day otherwise.

Anyway, U14...Championship game of COURSE goes into the 12th inning. No runs since about the 3rd or 4th.

In the bottom of the 12th, the first two batters strike out swinging. The 3rd batter walked and stole second. After the second pitch to the batter, the catcher threw the ball over the pitcher's head and it rolled past second base...winning run scores.

A parent yells(then echoed by at least two others: That's how you're gonna let it end Blue? How much did they pay you?

If anyone can TOP that for stupidity, I want to hear it. Notice I said TOP it. I do not believe it can be done.

Joe In Missouri

Last week I'm behind the plate working a Jr High game. Pitcher is throwing maybe 50 mph - slow pitches with a big arc. He throws two that are well inside, and just miss the batter who stands there without moving. On the third pitch batter raises his front arm into the pitch and starts toward first base. I tell the batter to get back in the box, no award of first because he intentionally moved into the pitch. Then I hear his father yelling "Get hit in the head next time so I can take, you to the hospital and decide which umpire to go after". Father then comes to the backstop demanding to know my name. All the time I'm wondering "What is this idiot talking about?" I didn't throw the pitch that hit him and am applying the rule as written.
In retrospect, I think he coaches his son to "take one for the team" and was outraged that his little plan did not work.

This guy gets my vote for Moron of the Year. I don' know if this tops your situation Joe, but it comes close.

Baseball parenting is the one area in which the brightest people prove their depth and intelligence by not speaking.

We were working a game last night and a head coach was telling us that he has parents in the stands calling their kid's pitches from the stands.

There's a lot more than one area...

You mean comedy's another.

to: MrUmpireSir
 

Yeah, you have a moron...but my morons are so much more moronic than your morons....you should be ashamed of yourself at the piddily little moron that you have! :D

jw, you cheated those boys out of a chance to win. You caused the first 2 to miss the ball, then YOU walked the next batter, THEN you threw the ball into center field. To top that YOU didn't call the runner out at home when it was perfectly clear to me that the catcher didn't even have the ball.

I hope you are thoroughly ashamed of the job you did during that game.:eek::rolleyes:

I'd love to try to top that, but I can't. The best I get is the typical "good game, blue" with an ever so slight hint of sarcasm. The one time that comes to mind...it was some how MY fault that the losing (home) team had 6 or 8 errors, 4 by the centerfielder in one inning (ball literally hit his glove and fell out). But I AM the one that cost them the game.

OH! One more, rec league not good ball at all. 2 teams from the same town. Some mom yells out some odd ball "your cheating" comment. I stop and ask "It's Calhoun City versus Calhuon City, who the hell am I cheating for?" It was nice and quiet the rest of the game.

4 balls and 3 balks sends you home in the bottom of the 7th...:D

I can't top this one, but the last coach who mentioned pay to me got tossed.

JW You're right, I am ashamed. Through the years I've seen many morons, far too many to mention. Most of them say the same stupid things. But I still don't know the point of this guy's rant. Unrefutable proof that everyone can not be above average intelligence.

Last week. Game ending play. Batter hits ground ball to F4. Runner from first runs over second baseman as he is attempting to field the ball. I immediately call dead ball, runner is out. Every time I have made this call, some idiot parent says "He's in the base path". Do we need to conduct rules clinic for parents at the beginning of each season? Incredible.

Not enough time. We have to play ball some time. this clinic would take up the entire year, including time not allocated as "the season."

I don't think we should do clinics for the parents...this is fantasic banter material!

Your name is....?
 

Game is a rout. As losers take last licks, R1, running unwisely, interferes with F3, who is attempting to field a pop-up. It's a 100 percenter; couldn't NOT call it. It's the penultimate out in the game.

Losing skip has a cow and lets loose with a volley of invective right in my puss, forcing me to run him. Again, couldn't NOT do it.

I head up to press box/changing room after game. It's on a second level, with an outside staircase. I can hear parents grumbling outside, so I hang inside for a while, trying to use discretion, which I admit is a dictum I do not always follow.

Finally, I hear one woman's frantic voice, screaming, "I want to see that umpire!" Too juicy for me, so I take the bait. I stand on the second floor landing, in mufti.

"Are you the umpire who called my Jason out?" she keens.

It didn't take Conan Doyle acumen to figure who "her Jason" might have been. I smiled as hugely as I could. "That would be me," I say sweetly.

She lets loose with a few blasts concerning my eyesight, ethics, parentage and other obvious flaws in my worldview. My smile never wanes. She then rummages in her copious, TrashMart purse for a pen and paper. "I want your name, so I can report you to the league."

"No problem, " I say. "Palermo. Steve Palermo. P-A-L-E-R-M-O." Which she scribbles down.

Couldn't NOT do it.

Ace

now that's good stuff right there.

Probably mentioned it before, but my partner and I once answered that proverbial question by patiently spelling out our names for the nice, sweet lady: Harry W-E-N-D-E-L-S-T-E-D-T and Bruce F-R-O-E-M-M-I-N-G.

Hey, maybe it was the same lady! (or a close relative :))

A dad wanted my name so he could complain about my lousy strike zone to my "boss." My UIC was my partner so, I said wait a second-you can talk to him in person. Hey _______ this gentleman wants to tell you how much my "umping" sucks!

Amazingly, the dad just walked away.

Joe in Missouri

Heard this weekend from a dad when the catcher stepped behind the right-handed batter in the box trying a snap throw to third base:

"Just hit the batter in the head if he doesn't get out of the way! That way he'll be called out for interference!"

He must have played AAA

About 17 years ago, I was working the bases on a Little League game. A couple of kids from a team that wasn't playing were in the bleachers, cheering for their friends on what a certain mom felt was the opposite team of the bleachers they were sitting it.

Between innings as I'm standing around she tells me she wants me to move the kids to the "correct" side. I politely explained to her that as long as they weren't being profane or doing anything other than cheering they can sit where they like.

Apparently she didn't like that response because when she got back to her seat, she proceeded to pour her entire cup of soda on top of the kids heads.

I looked her, she looked at me and I gave her the heave-ho. Giving me a look of disbelief I told her that I don't put up with that behavior from anybody in my ball park, ESPECIALLY an adult.

Here's the kicker, I was barely 16 at the time and she called the cops on ME and the kids. When the officer showed up, he wasn't really interested in talking to me and I tried to explain what had happened but he told me to keep moving.

Sixteen years old is a good time to learn that you never talk to a fan unless (under extraordinary circumstances) you need to eject him. I try to never even make eye contact with a fan.

Joe In Missouri

That's a very sound practice.

No eye Contact
 

Great point! I have learned as well that if you give some of them a glimpse, a smile or some type of the slightest bit of a conversation, they will start to work on you and know they have a listening ear. Some just want to be friendly and nice but you don't know which ones will blow up on the first close call etc. etc. I try to polite and respectful to everyone without displaying a chip on my shoulder. I do need to smile more though. :)

You're obviously there primarily to perform a service as an impartial third-party judge and supervisor of players. You perform that function so that the game's players have safe, fair contests. Only you and the players are necessary. Coaches are significantly less necessary and the spectators are insignificant. The spectators should almost never be acknowledged.

That's right. There's too many other juicy bits of the hot moms to glance at.:D

While I would agree with you in 99% of cases, SHE made eye contact with me after she looked up after what she had done.

If it was during a level higher than Little League I probably would have let it take care of itself. However, she was picking on 11 and 12 year old kids and I wasn't going to allow it to escalate.

At which point you get whoever is in charge of the site, tell them what happened, and ask for the lady to be removed. If you can't find who's in charge, tell the coach of that fan's team to take care of it. But don't deal with fans directly.

This very shapely gal walked over to the fence during the second game of a 90-degree twin-bill on Saturday, wearing a pale orange tank top and denim shorts and asked me if I'd like something to drink ... and I almost blurt out "milk!"... but somehow I managed to say "water, please."

Seventeen year-olds have no business having a GLM who's that, uh, GL. And that school shouldn't be sending that particular mom to the fence to mess up the umpire's game. I take this stuff seriously.

I am fairly certain I would have never realized that the woman was pouring anything anywhere.

I know the topic is baseball parents, but....

Working a youth basketball game. Mom of a player is riding her kid whenever he does something wrong. I'm hearing it, feeling sorry for the player (who's by far the best on the floor), but I'm ignoring her.
He misses a layup, ball knocked out of bounds, and I'm moving past her (sitting in the 1st bleacher row), when she yells "that was a F***ing awful shot"!

Now, I could've stopped play, found the gym super or use the player's coach, to address that, but instead, in that sich!, right then and near her, I told her if I heard that type of language again, I'd have her escorted out of the gym. Parents lightly applauded, it took all of 3 sec, and she was quiet after that...

I believe in ignoring fans or having admin deal with a problem, but sometimes in a HTBT sich?........

Keep it in your knickers, Kevin!

My all time favorite "parentism" occurred about three years ago. I was working a Babe Ruth game by myself. The batter squared to bunt and was hit in the hand. I called dead ball and awarded the batter first base. From the stands I hear, "Blue, you've got to ask for help on that one!"

You should have pointed down the first base line and asked "DID HE GO!!!"...


..."I guess not"

Been there, done that. It never gets old either...always gets big laughs.

Had a Legion game last summer. Unbelievable looking, extra-friendly, tanned, 40-something mom in shorts & tank top greets us on the way in with a bottle of water & takes her place in a lawn chair behind the screen. Actually mentions in our brief visit that she is just divorced.
My partner (divorced) is checking her out and making comments about how he is going to get her number before we leave.

She gets on his tail about the strike zone on the first pitch and b****ed about every close call all day.
On the way out, I asked my PU if he got her number, at which time he said he told me to kiss his @ss! :)