Stupid Dad

[greymule]

We had a fine ump around here years ago, well-respected and very competent. He did have rabbit ears, though, and when some guy in the stands yelled, "Where was it, ump?" He'd point low or something. He would also answer back when spectators shouted supposed "rules." For example, some clown would yell, "C'mon ump, he never had that ball for three seconds." This ump would yell back, "Rule 14C, Part 2: Ball was held within a subliminal radius of the motion of the forward arm." Man, did that shut them up. The players thought it was pretty funny, and we still laugh about it decades later.

[jumpmaster]

Here's a mom story. . .
Kid is tagged at home, out by a mile, maybe even a mile and a half, mom is screaming, "You are out of position to make that call, you are out of position! You can't even see the plate! I can see from here he was safe!" She was sitting 45' away next to the first base dugout.

After the game, I professionally and respectfully asked if she would be interested in being an umpire. She then wanted to tell me that I had "little man syndrome" and that she could "durn shootin' do a better job than I did". She also shared some of her "other" feelings about my skills and personality. Just one thing bothers me, she never said yes or no to being an umpire.

[jicecone]

True story.

I one time worked with a official that wore a set of "rabbit ears" under his hat for about 20 games. Just waiting for someone to ask the question. It was one of the most funiest moments of my life when he finally got the chance to to say " Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have rabbit ears".

It took us about 5 minutes to get the game started again because of everyone laughing so hard.