Dilemma

[scyguy]

Have a big game on Thursday with a coach I had a bad experience with last year. A little history, I've had him probably 5 times before our encounter last year and he was very respectful. Last year during the varsity game I had a banger at third. I'm in C, ball beat runner, 3B placed tag on upper part of ankle. I called runner out. He loses game 1-0. At the time of the play, he said nothing, but I did get the impression that he did not agree. Maybe he felt his kid was under the tag (I'm only guessing). Now, during the JV game the crowd gets upset when I do not allow BR to go to first when he gets hit by a pitch. I felt the kid did not make any effort to get out of the way. In fact, I saw the kid take his hand to the ball. Now in hindsight I probably should of given him the base since he was trying to "stiff arm" the ball for his own protection. Maybe I blew it, I think if I see it again I will award the base. The coach again did not say much. A few innings later, his pitcher balks. He did the jump move with runner at first, but did not throw. I balked it. Coach starts yelling that he stepped off. Then, he began yelling that the fans were not there to watch me. I stepped back and turned toward him and gave him the stare. He shut up.

My problem is that I resented his statement. It has been almost a year since it happened and it still bothers me. Like I said, he had never given me a problem before this day. My question is do I say anything about it when I see him on Thursday? Something to the effect that I'm sorry he felt I was trying to be the show, but I was enforcing the rules?

Let me just say that I feel very confident when I umpire. I feel that my mechanics and positioning are as good as anybody in this area. Rule intrep is an ongoing battle, but I am constantly trying to improve (this is why I am always asking questions). But when this coach accused me of trying to be "the show" it hurt to the bone. Thoughts??

[bob jenkins]

Originally posted by scyguy
Have a big game on Thursday with a coach I had a bad experience with last year. A little history, I've had him probably 5 times before our encounter last year and he was very respectful. Last year during the varsity game I had a banger at third. I'm in C, ball beat runner, 3B placed tag on upper part of ankle. I called runner out. He loses game 1-0. At the time of the play, he said nothing, but I did get the impression that he did not agree. Maybe he felt his kid was under the tag (I'm only guessing). Now, during the JV game the crowd gets upset when I do not allow BR to go to first when he gets hit by a pitch. I felt the kid did not make any effort to get out of the way. In fact, I saw the kid take his hand to the ball. Now in hindsight I probably should of given him the base since he was trying to "stiff arm" the ball for his own protection. Maybe I blew it, I think if I see it again I will award the base. The coach again did not say much. A few innings later, his pitcher balks. He did the jump move with runner at first, but did not throw. I balked it. Coach starts yelling that he stepped off. Then, he began yelling that the fans were not there to watch me. I stepped back and turned toward him and gave him the stare. He shut up.

My problem is that I resented his statement. It has been almost a year since it happened and it still bothers me. Like I said, he had never given me a problem before this day. My question is do I say anything about it when I see him on Thursday? Something to the effect that I'm sorry he felt I was trying to be the show, but I was enforcing the rules?

Let me just say that I feel very confident when I umpire. I feel that my mechanics and positioning are as good as anybody in this area. Rule intrep is an ongoing battle, but I am constantly trying to improve (this is why I am always asking questions). But when this coach accused me of trying to be "the show" it hurt to the bone. Thoughts??

My thoughts: (1) Get over it. (2) Don't say anything.

[Rich]

Originally posted by scyguy
Have a big game on Thursday with a coach I had a bad experience with last year. A little history, I've had him probably 5 times before our encounter last year and he was very respectful. Last year during the varsity game I had a banger at third. I'm in C, ball beat runner, 3B placed tag on upper part of ankle. I called runner out. He loses game 1-0. At the time of the play, he said nothing, but I did get the impression that he did not agree. Maybe he felt his kid was under the tag (I'm only guessing). Now, during the JV game the crowd gets upset when I do not allow BR to go to first when he gets hit by a pitch. I felt the kid did not make any effort to get out of the way. In fact, I saw the kid take his hand to the ball. Now in hindsight I probably should of given him the base since he was trying to "stiff arm" the ball for his own protection. Maybe I blew it, I think if I see it again I will award the base. The coach again did not say much. A few innings later, his pitcher balks. He did the jump move with runner at first, but did not throw. I balked it. Coach starts yelling that he stepped off. Then, he began yelling that the fans were not there to watch me. I stepped back and turned toward him and gave him the stare. He shut up.

My problem is that I resented his statement. It has been almost a year since it happened and it still bothers me. Like I said, he had never given me a problem before this day. My question is do I say anything about it when I see him on Thursday? Something to the effect that I'm sorry he felt I was trying to be the show, but I was enforcing the rules?

Let me just say that I feel very confident when I umpire. I feel that my mechanics and positioning are as good as anybody in this area. Rule intrep is an ongoing battle, but I am constantly trying to improve (this is why I am always asking questions). But when this coach accused me of trying to be "the show" it hurt to the bone. Thoughts??

All I can say is it's time to have a bit thicker skin. Move on and don't say anything.

[LMan]

almost a year?? goodness. why are you 'guessing' about why he 'might not agree?' Did you kick the call? Sounds like you did not make a gross miss...so why all the angst?

I would say you cant let him in your head like that. Youll kick one for sure, being all nervous and such, wondering what he'll say this time....

honestly, his comments seem mild compared to what I hear....perhaps you need to eject him after his next commentary (which it sounds like he's sure to make). That might clear the air

dont you DARE 'apologize' for what HE said last time! He will have you by the short hairs from that moment on. Dont take it so personally...he's 'working' you....dont let him!

[scyguy]

that's what I thought, an apology would only indicate that I was still thinking about it. You encounter problems all the time, but every once in awhile one will bother you more than others. Why this one? I don't know.

Thanks, I knew I could "open up" here and get advice. Being relaxed is critical to making instanteous decisions. I know I will be fine on Thursday. I have the confidence to deal with anything that could occur.

[Tim C]

I tossed 312 players, coaches, scorekeepers, announcers, etc. in my career.

If I worried as much as you I would have been unable to continue my career.

It is time to move on . . .

Real pressure is when you dump the head rat in the seventh inning of the first game of a double header when you have the dish in the second game.

Honestly, I feel your concern and as Rich noted, thicken the skin and just go work the game.

[scyguy]

I am learning that. My skin thickens as we speak. Thanks

[piaa_ump]

I know Im just adding to the advice you have already gotten, but in my experience, the best way to handle a coach that you have had problems with is to act as if nothing ever happended. It's Ancient History....You should present yourself as if you dont even remember the situation.

Dont give a coach the satisfaction of knowing he got under your skin....

[cbfoulds]

About that HBP: if his only movement/ effort in response to a ball coming at him was to "try to stiff arm the ball for his own protection" by taking his hand to the ball:
1: call time [dead ball, it hit him]
2: call the pitch [ball/strike] by it's location
3: tell him to stay right where he was [presuming it was not K3 of B4]
4: point the ball live and say "Play"

If he tried to stiff-arm the ball, he did NOT try to avoid being hit, he merely chose how, where, and when to "take one for the team". No sale.

For the rest, get over it, as others have suggested.

War story:

Few years ago I [PU] launched the head rat at one of our [HS level] military academies during a Christians vs. Lions game. He was beating the religion out of one of our church schools, 7-0 bottom of the 6th, and had the balls to come screaming out onto the infield dirt to argue about a foul call on the 3d base line that prevented a couple of his runners from scoring.

In the league involved, there was no fixed additional consequence for a coach being ejected, but our contract requires that our board be consulted about how unsportsmanlike behavior is dealt with by schools. A suspension would have kept Coach from working at least one playoff game, so our board was asked if we minded if there was no suspension: I took the position, as the affected umpire and as a member of the board [at that time] that we should not care about suspensions or consequences unless the situation involved violence toward an umpire. We take care of business on the field for that game; what that means tomorrow or in the larger scheme of things is no more our concern than what the league standings are. OK, so he wasn't suspended.

It is more than a year later that I am back at that school: during a rain delay, the same head coach strikes up a conversation about some rules snafu or other he had happen in a game earlier in the season [not our umps]. Everything is real cordial, no problems in the game so far. In the course of the chat, the Coach mentions how "one of your guys tossed me a couple years ago for arguing a foul call ... " [I'm playing the Tar Baby, an' not sayin' nothin' (so far)]

He then proceeds to give me his version of the events, which are close enough to be recognisable; but, needless to say, make him look put-upon by the mean Blue. He then comments that "of course, the ejection was reversed on appeal and the guy was blackballed from our games ..."!!! To steal a line from Ron White: at that point I had the right to remain silent ..... but I lacked the ability [to do so].

Me (smiling): "Well, Coach, y'know that's not exactly what happened. See: you apparently don't remember, but I was the guy that ran you; and I was on our Board at the time. The EJ wasn't ever appealed, we just didn't insist that you sit out the next few games: and the only reason I haven't been back here since then, is I've been doing Varsity games at [names of large public schools], which are rated higher than our private schools. The fact that I'm here today is proof that we don't recognise 'blackballs'. Looks like the rain is slacking off, let's see if we can play some ball."

The look on his face was priceless. I've also never had another moment's trouble from him in all the games I've done with his teams.

[Edited by cbfoulds on Apr 12th, 2005 at 11:38 AM]

[His High Holiness]

Scyguy;

Many years ago, I had some of the same reactions that you describe. I was ready to quit officiating. I was a "keep 'em in the game" kind of umpire.

Then I started ejecting the ba$tards with reckless abandon and I started feeling a whole lot better. (And they started leaving me alone.) Now that I do mostly NCAA level ball, everyone pretty much behaves anyway.

Bottom line, do not go away from a game feeling like you should have ejected someone. It will eat at you for days or even years (like every time that you have do the SOBs game again.) It is far better to eject someone too quick than to not eject them when you should have. You will sleep better at night and be in the power position the next time you do their games.

Psychologists have noted in numerous studies that workers who feel powerless, are less satisfied and less productive. You are feeling all the symptoms of loss of power over your work. There is nothing like a few ejections to restore it.

Peter

[jicecone]

Scyguy

A hockey official once asked me just about the same question, when he knew that he would be officiating a contest that he had similar problems with the coach. My comments were as follows and hopefully just as applicable.

First of all, if you don't feel comfortable doing the team again (and I understand taking the game home with you), you may want to speak to your assignor about switching the game. If not possible, the next best thing is to approach the game in this manner and mindset: 1. I am in control and have the final say. I don't have to put up with them but, they DO have to put up with me. 2. I will be as professional, if not more than the last game. 3. I will be courteous, approachable and show NO signs of remembering what happened in previous contests. 4. I will not entertain long discussions, nor stand around conducting long discussion.5. I will make my calls, firmly and decisive and penalize accordingly. Finally, my actions will show that I know the rules and that I am only there to enforce the rules. They will decide their own fate. GOOD LUCK

[DG]

I tossed the pitcher in the second inning of a double header last year for saying an unkind thing to me after a close call at 3B (I was BU).

At the pre-game meeting for 2nd game the coach says he was planning to use him again in the 2nd game but was concerned since I tossed him in the first game. I told him that game was over, I was over it and if his pitcher was then fine. He pitched a good game and did not say a word.

I wouldn't mention anything to the coach about the first game of a DH, much less one that happened last year.

[Peruvian]

1. Don't say anything
2. See #1.

I'll bet this coach doesn't even remember this situation. Most coaches don't remember things like that, anyway, especially if it was last year. Why do we? Because we want to be perfect.

Move on and have a good game!

[mcrowder]

I too bet that this guy doesn't even remember the event - or at least that it runs together with the other 500 games he's done and said something similar to an umpire.

We've all heard that exact comment 50 times - it's just part of the standard book of umpire insults. Don't sweat it.

Act as if nothing happened. If, on the off chance, HE brings it up, even to apologize, you say, "Coach, I do 150 games a year, and hear it all. I honestly don't remember the game you're referring to. I appreciate the apology, but truly, it's water under the bridge."

(Of course, this speech works a little less if a given altercation is just the week before you see a guy again!)

[scyguy]

game went fine last night. However, I worked with a guy who left alot to be desired. He had the dish for the varsity since he was contracted first. Zone was consistent, but rotation was frightening. I should of known when in pre-game he says that "I do whether is easy". What kind of response is that?? I told him about critical rotations and that if he was not there, then I will not be making the call (rotation up to third, etc). Thankfully it was a pitchers duel. Six total hits, 2-1 final.
Now in the JV game, he spent as much time in and around the dugout BSing, than where he was supposed to be. Every half inning was delayed because of his constant smooshing. Yeah, he knew the coaches and yes most exchanges ended with laughter, but my goodness, aren't we there to do a job?? Now, 2nd inning, less than two outs, R1 and R2, base hit, I take R2 into the plate, throw is cut off and play occurs at third. Once I saw R2 touch home, I moved into position for an overthrow at third (DBT). I see the slide is directly into the 3B glove. Kid is out. But, my "partner" has absolutely no position, he comes flying across and calls kid safe. He had no idea. OC starts yelling for him to appeal to me. I'm thinking surely he will ignore the request. Well, you got it, here he comes toward me. Let me say that I did see play (tag was on the home side of third) and the kid was out. I tell "my partner" that he cannot appeal to me. He says that he did not see it and only wanted to get it right. I told him that I would not comment on the play. DC then starts yelling at me that he knows I saw it and should overrule. I stare at coach but do not reply. Ball back in play, life goes on. I told him after the game that he should of NEVER come to me. I'm sure in some of his chattter sessions with the coaches after this event, he made himself "look innocent" but so be it. If coaches cannot recognize an umpire that is professional and working hard vs a guy who is "your best friend", then I will work elsewhere.